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Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
edited May 2023 in Sex & Relationships
hi i've been having quite a few problems and disagreements with my mum as i feel she favours my sibling over me. do any of u have advice on how to cope as its hard

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Manager Posts: 319 The Mix Regular
    Hey @libbystrawberry, and first things first welcome to The Mix. It's wonderful to have you here!

    It sounds like things are really difficult for you at home at the moment, Libby. You've mentioned that you feel as though she favours your siblings. That must be really tough. Is there anything in particular that makes you feel that way?

    You're really welcome here, Libby, and we're here for you. <3

    Take care,
    Harry
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    hey harry thank you :)
    its things like getting angry with me and not my sibling, sometimes ignoring me when i say something to her, going the extra mile for my sibling (she said that herself) and not doing anything for me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 197 Trailblazer
    Hey @libbystrawberry, I'm sorry your mom's behaviour is causing you to feel like your siblings are more appreciated and better taken care of. Firstly, well done for opening up about your feelings, relationships with parents can be very complicated at any age and it's very good you're using this forum to try to make sense of your mother's behaviour towards you.

    Sometimes parents hurt their children without realising or put their frustration on someone/something else without meaning to, have you tried talking to her about it and bringing up the fact that you wish for her to be more considerate? Do you think it would be possible to talk about it openly?

    I know it could be a nerve wrecking conversation, however trying to make a list of topics you want to address and examples where your mother's behaviour has hurt you could help you make you feel more confident. Open communication is important so, if you think she'll listen and believe that she'll take your opinion into consideration, trying to have a conversation about it may be a good idea.

    Alternatively, you could try talking about it with your siblings as well to see if they feel the same way as you do. Maybe they noticed the situation too, or feel like they're being dismissed as well in different ways.

    Let us know how you're feeling
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    @genderless_fungi i have talked to my mum about it but she brushes it off says she loves us equally recently i wrote a letter to her about it and i would say there's been a couple improvements but yeah we still havent got the best relationship esp not the way she is with my sibling, , my sibling has exams so maybe thats it but in all honesty this started way back. like why am i not good enough? pretty much everyone leaves me sooner or later
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    Hi @libbystrawberry

    It seems like this is a really demoralising and deflating situation, you deserve to feel loved and cared for. We are here with you, to work through this together. I am so pleased to see that you were able to write a letter to your mum, a bid for connection like this takes both vulnerability and strength. Reaching out can be nerve-wracking, especially to a parent.

    I am glad to hear that there have been a few improvements as a result of this, I can imagine this gives you an inkling of hope that things could get better. Nevertheless, I see that this is still really challenging to work through, it seems that things aren't where you'd like them to be. From what I can gather, the lack of investment from your mum seems to be rubbing salt into an old wound, by your reference to other people leaving you in the past. Would you like to share a bit more about this? We are here to listen if you'd like.

    Take care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    @support_squad23 im kinda late answering ur question but basically i meant a lot of people have left me in the past, i have been used and manipulated by 'friends' and i was too blind to see it (more then once btw) and some treated me like i was bloody invisble but yeah

    hope that answers ur question <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    Hi @libbystrawberry, thanks for getting back to me. I can imagine this has been a very tricky time. Putting your trust in your friends only for them to betray you can be really hurtful. Likewise, when people act as if you're invisible, this can really lower your self-esteem. How have things been for you this week?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    pretty bad tbh @support_squad23 u know why
  • ebyrne556ebyrne556 Moderator Posts: 1,130 Wise Owl
    Sorry to hear that things havent been great this week @libbystrawberry Sending big hugs and if u want to talk a bit more about how ur feeling we r all their for u <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    Hi @libbystrawberry

    Checking in to see how the last few days have been for you?

    I have seen you providing some lovely and compassionate support in other discussions. Your caring nature is shining through. I hope you can see this strength of yours. Looking out for others during a difficult time for yourself, is selfless and endearing. I understand this can take it's toll though, so we are here if you'd like to chat.

    Take care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    thank u @support_squad23 wish other ppl thought that too
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