I have been affected by autism not being understood in the past

Creativeboy23

Hello all.

I have been feeling in a low mood again. I was doing some written work and was feeling self conscious about whether my writing is wordy. This is because I have received past comments about my writing from staff, not understanding that I have a communication impairment due to my autism spectrum. I have been affected by a staff member telling me I need to manage my time better, ignoring the fact that I learn and process things differently. Every so often, this memory comes back to me. This low mood along with feeling expected to switch off my emotions and be happy again has been overwhelming me.

Former Member

Hi @Creativeboy23 , it is good to express your feelings!
It's understandable that those comments affect your feelings. It's important to advocate for yourself and communicate your needs to those around you, including your teachers and support staff.

Their opinions don’t represent who you really are. Not everyone can understand you, so it’s important to take care of yourself. If you’re in a low mood, consider trying doing something enjoyable, taking a break, or talking to some friends.

Former Member

Hi @Creativeboy23

Sorry to hear that you are feeling this was (sending hugs)

Its difficult when people do not understand you, it may be worth having a chat with them to express the effect that these comments are having on yourself?

Like Terry has said these comments do not reflect who you are and they have probably come from a lack of understanding, please make sure you take care of yourself as you are an amazing person

Creativeboy23

Hello @Terry8936.

That's true. I will try.

Thanks.

Creativeboy23

Hello @eparker98.

I will do that.

Thanks.

Former Member

Hi @Creativeboy23

I can see how these comments could feel really deflating and hurtful, this lack of understanding from the staff members can have quite painful consequences. It can be challenging to not internalise these labels, especially if they're said repeatedly.

I'd agree with the posts above that having an open discussion with these staff members could be a positive next step. This will enable the staff to best support you, with an understanding of what conditions and approaches suit your manner of learning. You're deserving of a safe and supportive educational environment.

Take care.

Maisy

Hey there,

It sounds frustrating for you that some staff don’t understand autism and how it relates to differences in communication, even in written form. But try not to let those comments get to you. It really is just from ignorance. I’ve known a few autistic people who write things that would be considered ‘wordy’ but that’s actually what makes them such good writers!

With regards to the comment about needing to manage your time better, it might help to briefly plan what you are going to write about (and think about roughly how long it might take you to write each section). I’ve also heard that if you feel you are taking too long to answer a question, you might want to bullet point the rest of your answer as you might still be able to pick up some marks for your bullet points, before moving on to the next question.

I’m also wondering whether you are able to get any adjustments due to your autism? For example, if staff know that you are autistic and how this might affect your performance in an exam (e.g. needing more time to answer questions instead of needing to manage your time better) then you might be able to have extra time in exams? It’s definitely worth speaking to some teachers about this and mentioning how your autism can affect your written work.

I understand it can be really difficult when you’ve been misunderstood and sometimes these memories just seem to pop up and affect you. But as others have said, they don’t reflect you at all. And every day these is always more research, awareness and advocacy for autistic people so even if some people don’t understand right now, it doesn’t mean it will always be this way. There are others who will be more understanding.

I’m also wondering why you say you feel you are expected to switch off your emotions and be happy again? Emotions are tricky things because sometimes it can help to distract ourselves and try not to dwell on thoughts and instead try to be happy (and we may then feel a bit better) but other times it’s good to know that it’s okay to feel what you feel. If you feel misunderstood then it’s understandable that you will feel low as a result. But it doesn’t mean you should try to switch off your feelings and be happy. Maybe you can use these feelings of being misunderstood in a positive way instead- such as helping to educate others on autism or using your feelings to write about being misunderstood etc. to help others.

As others have suggested, it can be difficult feeling misunderstood so take good care of yourself

Creativeboy23

Hi @support_squad23.

I agree with you. It has been tough.

Thanks for your support. I appreciate it but I am no longer having support from that staff member. I am on a new campus receiving the same support from different staff. It is just that the previous staff member's comment had a long term effect, but I will still share this with him, so I can eventually move forward.

Creativeboy23

Hello @Maisy,

I will try not to. Thanks for the compliment.

The only adjustment is getting extra time on my assessments, but everything else does not accommodate my needs. I only get two 1 hour autism support sessions, meaning I cannot get any support outside of these sessions, although I feel they are not autism specific. Only support for the typical students is available to me, which doesn't work because I also get supported from a neurotypical perspective.

It will take more than just speaking to teachers. They have to trained with working with autistic students to do this.

However, I appreciate your support. Thanks.

That is what happens. They will pop up when I will least expect them and affect me. That is true.

I said that I feel expected switch off my emotions and be happy because you are expected to use tools to cope with difficult emotions. This can feel as though it is bad to whenever you are feeling any difficult emotions but good when you move out of them. That is the best way I can explain it, but I get that it does not mean I should switch off my feelings and be happy, but it feels that way when you are expected to use tools when you are feel distressed.

Those are good suggestions. Try to education others on autism and writing about my feelings of being misunderstood is a good way to make them more aware of the disability
.
Thanks for your help.