Difficulty dealing with the 'shadows' around me

spacedog

I feel like these shadows are always around me, I can't get away from them - I'm convinced I can hear them and feel them following me wherever I go. They've only really shown themselves a few times though - with the latest being last Thursday where I could hear one to my right and another banging on the door. I can tell they want me dead but sometimes I fight back, other times I feel I have to give in. I guess I just feel so tired of fighting all the time, I just want a break.

Former Member

Sorry to hear you're struggling with this, it must suck so bad. I really don't have much advice because I've not really experienced hallucinations before except for when I have nightmares and I wake up and I still see/hear the things from my nightmare as if they're in my room. I also had a random phase like two years ago when I started believing things I knew weren't true and seeing signs and (sort of?) hallucinating but idk if that's the same sort of thing. But I used to just say to myself 'look there's my bed' and tough my bed and tell myself 'see it's there, it's real' but then remind myself that the hallucinations were not real even if they were scary and felt real, they were just in my head. Idk if that's very useful lol but it helped me. I know this must suck a lot but I'm sending hugs!!

Former Member

Hi @IainJammyboy , it’s brave to share your worries. I’m sorry to hear that you have been through such difficult time. The situation sounds serious and overwhelming, and my recommendation is to seek help from psychology professional sooner. Hallucinations might affect your daily life and be a sign of a mental health condition. You don’t have to face it alone. There are many effective treatments available, like therapy and medication, that can help you improve the quality of life.

It is understandable that you feel tired of fighting, but you need to remember it always takes time and effort, and I believe you will get better eventually. Take care of yourself and reach out for professional help! You deserve to feel safe and supported!

spacedog

@Terry8936 Thank you for that comment. I completely understand if you can't help me in this situation but I have already talked to a psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse, NHS 24 - basically all the help I can get but they all like to say it's anxiety just because I'm young. I really do believe it's much deeper than that but they refuse to help and blame me for not cooperating with them because the only support I get from them is self help coping mechanism worksheets - which I've tried, don't help and just don't do them anymore. I love talking on here because it's full of support, but any medical professionals I speak to it feels incredibly patronising, refused to put me on anything other than antidepressants because I'm young' and leave me to deal with it all on its own. I really don't want to talk about this neither do I want people worrying about my own situation but I feel I really really need to talk about it. And the most shocking part is that I try seek help again and again, they give me those worksheets although I don't find them helpful, ends up with me attempting suicide, when I'm in the hospital they tell me just to use coping strategies and send me home with absolutely no support. I just feel horrible about the way I've been treated, the lack of help and honestly the lack of professionalism - I tell them a young person's life is at risk and they just slap a worksheet in my face and expect things to get all better. It is absolutely horrific

spacedog

@Xee I can hear them again, they're out to get me

spacedog

I can feel them poking my head

spacedog

I tried to draw them to show you what they look like

spacedog

I can't talk to anyone because my SIM card won't text short codes

Former Member

@IainJammyboy When did they start if u don't mind me asking? I hope they're gone and you're feeling better this morning

I can't talk to anyone because my SIM card won't text short codes

That's so annoying, that sucks. Sometimes when I have no one to talk to or text I ramble and write as if I'm gonna send it to someone and it helps so u could try that?

spacedog

@Xee I'm really sorry about all those messages, I was just so desperate. My final straw with the NHS is I was thinking that was a psychotic episode but they insisted I was just stressed about exams. Going to go private with WPA, wish me luck with that

Former Member

@IainJammyboy Don't apologise! It's ok, I get it. Honestly feel free to tag me whenever u want And yeah I get that, the nhs have been pretty useless with me too so i went private. I hope it all goes well for you!!

ebyrne556

Hey @IainJammyboy really proud of you for sharing how you feeling and reaching out for support .Hoow are you feeling about going private?