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Feeling anxious
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,587 Boards Guru
in Work & Study
I've been thinking about my career and everything. I think it's what's making me anxious, I just been thinking what jobs or careers I'm realistically able to do, I know a few options that I want to do but I'm scared of like failing or not being capable, messing up etc. People say just try stuff but if it fails then it would fuck me up and everything. I don't know if I could work in retail too like fast food especially, I went McDonald's with my friends ages ago and when looking into the kitchen when I was waiting for my food it's really high paced, it gave me memories of catering in college on a Monday morning in the college kitchen and not fond memories at all. Working in retail is hard like most of it is, there's rude customers which I think id feel would ruin my self esteem, like pressure etc. I think if I worked in like sainsburys or something I'd end up quitting or getting sacked which wouldnt be good for me.
You just have to get a job to make money to make a living, I do want to do something with my life like I dont want to sit at home unemployed, on the dole when I'm fully capable of working like that sucks. I'm just worried, maybe I might be like unemployed like that or I worry too Ill just be doing some boring job I dont like and be in that pattern either. Im not sure realistically what I can do. Also I just worry about money too, sometimes about my financial situation atm but I think more in my future too like my income situation, my savings situation, ability to pay bills, how expensive things are getting. Like houses are getting way too expensive to buy, like people have to rent and even that is expensive too. Cars are getting expensive to buy, they can get expensive to run too. The cost of living is expensive. A lot of people have to work a few jobs just to pay bills and put food on the table. It all just gets me a bit worried about my financial future etc.
You just have to get a job to make money to make a living, I do want to do something with my life like I dont want to sit at home unemployed, on the dole when I'm fully capable of working like that sucks. I'm just worried, maybe I might be like unemployed like that or I worry too Ill just be doing some boring job I dont like and be in that pattern either. Im not sure realistically what I can do. Also I just worry about money too, sometimes about my financial situation atm but I think more in my future too like my income situation, my savings situation, ability to pay bills, how expensive things are getting. Like houses are getting way too expensive to buy, like people have to rent and even that is expensive too. Cars are getting expensive to buy, they can get expensive to run too. The cost of living is expensive. A lot of people have to work a few jobs just to pay bills and put food on the table. It all just gets me a bit worried about my financial future etc.
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Comments
It seems like you've been going back and forth worrying about both being employed and being unemployed for some time now. I was in the same situation only a year ago and I see that hearing someone say that you just have to try stuff can sound dismissive and that you're scared that failing will make you feel even worse. Sometimes anxiety can get the better of us and it might be helpful to ask ourselves why exactly do we feel like we cannot deal positively with failure and try to address that.
Very often when people get in their head they make things seem harder than they actually are, and you'll have a more realistic view of what it means to work and be employed only by trying. That way you'll also slowly build a realistic idea of what you can and can't do and what you struggle with as an employee and you can take care of those issues once they arise. Only you can say for certain whether you are ready to take on this responsibility, but it seems like that's something you want to do and that, maybe, if you try your negative feelings may change or at least be about more manageable things that you could take care of step by step. For example, if you start working and realise time management is an issue you could try addressing that. Do you think anxiety might be more manageable if you can pinpoint exactly what to address to make the situation better?
I was very scared as well and what i can say is that jobs, even the ones that are fast-paced and seem to push your limits a bit, can help you build self-esteem. Even just pushing through and going to interviews might take some anxiety off your shoulders. I understand it is hard, but thinking that you may be unemployed your whole life will just make your anxiety worse and it might be more helpful to think of work as a positive experience where you'll learn more about yourself and what you want to do even if you fail. Is there a reason why you think you might end up being unemployed?
Maybe one way to start approaching this issue in a more healthy way would be to see it as a journey where feeling absolutely certain about what you want to do and having no anxiety about it whatsoever shouldn't be the start or end-point. it's completely normal and okay to start looking for a job even if you're still anxious and it's normal for anxiety to take long to be processed before it goes away.
There are a lot of different jobs you could apply to, and even in customer service the amount of work changes a lot depending on the place you're working in and on little things like the size of the store as well. For example, a small bookshop might be less stressful than H&M or McDonald's, and what you can keep in mind if it helps is that you'll always be able to leave a job you don't like and try something else instead.
Being anxious about how expensive things are getting is completely understandable and you're right, it can be very scary. Do you know what type of resources could help you at this time?
Let us know how you've been doing
Hi. I think I just need to be more positive about stuff. Also smaller local places might a better idea than bigger places. I'm not sure what resources could help
Sorry to hear you've been feeling so anxious about this. I'm sure you are more than capable but even if you do mess up, try to not be so hard on yourself. I know it's a lot easier said than done but you're only human! I was gonna say exactly what @genderless_fungi said about working somewhere smaller like in a bookshop! Another example is that my cousin works at a small tuition place for primary school kids and she said it's really chilled out and not too stressful so maybe exploring options like that could be a good idea?
I completely get that you're stressed about being unemployed and worried about money. I get really stressed when my parents spend money on things which they didn't need to. They'll go for the more expensive option or say yes to something which is a waste of money in my opinion. It stresses me out so much and it literally isn't even my money lol, it's theirs. While thinking about the future can be really good, it can also be really shitty because you're worrying about problems you aren't even faced with yet. I think you should really focus on taking one step at a time. Remind yourself that you'll cross those bridges when u get there but for now focus on the present and what you can do now.
Hope this makes sense and I hope u start feeling a little less anxious soon! Maybe try to do something you enjoy to distract yourself from thinking about this? Or something relaxing? Sending hugs!
Hi. Yh working somewhere smaller is more ideal like maybe a local garage or construction or something like that like a local company. I think tuition with kids wouldn't be ideal though but something quiet like that.
I don't really stress about about my parents spending their money or famliy like its up to them. It's more my own money like I worry about that.
I do , do stuff relaxing too which helps.
I probably wouldn't work with kids, that must have been a misunderstanding. I'm not sure like diffrent stuff helps relax
No problem. I've been thinking of what I realistically want to do and stuff so it's not going to plan tbh.