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TW- abuse in care

BensonEBensonE Posts: 37 Boards Initiate
I was wondering how many other people received abuse from foster parents when in the care system
libbystrawberrylunarcat522

Comments

  • BenMaBenMa Moderator, Staff Posts: 143 Helping Hand
    edited April 2023
    Being in the care system is absolutely meant to be a safe place, and so it sounds incredibly heartbreaking that you've been through experiences of potential abuse from your foster parents when their role is meant to be to take care of you @BensonE . That sounds incredibly hard and I love that you've reached out to see if anyone has navigated or coped with similar experiences. I also read in one of your previous posts that you often use community group chats, so I love that you're reaching out for support there too!

    I'm wondering if you're still under the care of these foster parents and whether anyone else is aware of what you've experienced Benson? I'm also wondering what categories of abuse you'd say you've experienced Benson (only if you feel comfortable sharing) and the impact this has had on you?

    I wondered if I might also be able to pop some options here for further support, alongside your post here on the board, in case you wanted to access any of these:
    • NSPCC - They offer advice, counselling & information to those concerned about a child at risk of abuse, including children and young people themselves. They are open Monday to Friday 8am – 10pm or 9am – 6pm at the weekends on 0808 800 5000, or can email them at [email protected]. You can also use their online form to report abuse. You can also go to www.nspcc.org.uk for more details.
    • NAPAC (National Association for People Abused in Childhood) - They provide emotional support and information to those affected by all types of childhood abuse and run support groups. They are open Monday - Thursday: 10am - 9pm and Friday 10am - 6pm. You can call them on 0808 801 0331 or email them on [email protected]. You can also visit their website for more information, or access a range of resources at www.napac.org.uk.
    • Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse (HAVOCA) - Run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. They provide support and advice for any adult whose life has been affected by childhood abuse. HAVOCA is only for people above the age of 18. You can access further information and advice on their website http://www.havoca.org/ as well as you can access their database of support groups and links to therapist directories.
    • ChildLine (if under 19 years old) - Information, advice and confidential counselling to anyone aged 18 and under on any issue affecting them. Their phoneline is open all day every day by calling on 0800 1111, or you can go to www.childline.org.uk to access their webchat service. They also have a message board for young people on their website. You can visit their website to access more information on them or send an email using a Childline account.


    Do keep reaching out. We're all here for you!
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  • BensonEBensonE Posts: 37 Boards Initiate
    BenMa wrote: »
    Being in the care system is absolutely meant to be a safe place, and so it sounds incredibly heartbreaking that you've been through experiences of potential abuse from your foster parents when their role is meant to be to take care of you @BensonE . That sounds incredibly hard and I love that you've reached out to see if anyone has navigated or coped with similar experiences. I also read in one of your previous posts that you often use community group chats, so I love that you're reaching out for support there too!

    I'm wondering if you're still under the care of these foster parents and whether anyone else is aware of what you've experienced Benson? I'm also wondering what categories of abuse you'd say you've experienced Benson (only if you feel comfortable sharing) and the impact this has had on you?

    I wondered if I might also be able to pop some options here for further support, alongside your post here on the board, in case you wanted to access any of these:
    • NSPCC - They offer advice, counselling & information to those concerned about a child at risk of abuse, including children and young people themselves. They are open Monday to Friday 8am – 10pm or 9am – 6pm at the weekends on 0808 800 5000, or can email them at [email protected]. You can also use their online form to report abuse. You can also go to www.nspcc.org.uk for more details.
    • NAPAC (National Association for People Abused in Childhood) - They provide emotional support and information to those affected by all types of childhood abuse and run support groups. They are open Monday - Thursday: 10am - 9pm and Friday 10am - 6pm. You can call them on 0808 801 0331 or email them on [email protected]. You can also visit their website for more information, or access a range of resources at www.napac.org.uk.
    • Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse (HAVOCA) - Run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. They provide support and advice for any adult whose life has been affected by childhood abuse. HAVOCA is only for people above the age of 18. You can access further information and advice on their website http://www.havoca.org/ as well as you can access their database of support groups and links to therapist directories.
    • ChildLine (if under 19 years old) - Information, advice and confidential counselling to anyone aged 18 and under on any issue affecting them. Their phoneline is open all day every day by calling on 0800 1111, or you can go to www.childline.org.uk to access their webchat service. They also have a message board for young people on their website. You can visit their website to access more information on them or send an email using a Childline account.


    Do keep reaching out. We're all here for you!

    We are going back nearly 17 years ago now so I'm no longer under there care but the long term damage is still present

    The type on abuse I would think covers neglect, emotional, physical abuse

    I use to be lock in a room with nothing in it for hours at a time (that all I can remember I was told since it was hours at a time)
    libbystrawberrylunarcat522
  • BensonEBensonE Posts: 37 Boards Initiate
    Thanks Morgan

    I've always been told that abuse in the care system was common until about 10 years ago when they cracked down on it

    But want to find out how true that is for myself
    lunarcat522
  • BensonEBensonE Posts: 37 Boards Initiate
    Morgan I've seen the reports i know I was abused

    What I'm trying to found out is if it was true that abuse in care was more common than it should of been
    libbystrawberrylunarcat522
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    I think it's a very important question, and simply awful that it even has to be asked @BensonE . I can't even begin to imagine the lasting impact this abuse has caused you. Wanting to know more about how others have been treated in the care system is more than understandable.

    From what I have read and heard, both in the media, academically and from personal testimonies, it is clear that abuse in care is significantly more common than it should have been. (of course no abuse should occur whatsoever).

    I could link some of the articles I have read, of course the content is very triggering, but it is clear that many many children and young people have suffered in horrendous ways that they never should have.

    It seems that over the past few years, the government and other agencies are saying they are working hard to prevent child abuse, with stricter laws and additional support for children and young people in care. Nevertheless, many people who are currently in care talk about the abuse they face, particularly when it comes to neglect, which shows that we must do more as a country to protect and support children.

    I hope this answer was helpful in some way, if not I am more than okay to talk more about this if you'd like.

    Thank you for the very important discussion you have brought up <3

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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,066 Part of The Furniture
    It sounds really difficult that you have been through similar @Iris_Mizzy, we are here for you too :)
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  • hastings1066hastings1066 Posts: 48 Boards Initiate
    I am currently in foster care and my baby's dad is the foster families eldest son.
    I am not sure who to tell.
  • BensonEBensonE Posts: 37 Boards Initiate
    Iris_Mizzy wrote: »
    I've been through similar, I was abused abt a year ago but its still there. here if you wanna talk. :)

    Thanks sorry only just seeing this
  • BensonEBensonE Posts: 37 Boards Initiate
    I am currently in foster care and my baby's dad is the foster families eldest son.
    I am not sure who to tell.

    Probably your social worker
  • hastings1066hastings1066 Posts: 48 Boards Initiate
    Probably your social worker[/quote]

    My social worker isn’t bothered about the fact that my foster mum doesn’t want me due to the fact that I am pregnant. Social services say that I am safe so they aren’t bothered about rehoming me.

  • libbystrawberrylibbystrawberry Community Champion Posts: 558 Incredible Poster
    @hastings1066 u could speak to the midwife u were talking abt before
    I was on the outside, always looking in
  • libbystrawberrylibbystrawberry Community Champion Posts: 558 Incredible Poster
    BensonE wrote: »

    We are going back nearly 17 years ago now so I'm no longer under there care but the long term damage is still present

    The type on abuse I would think covers neglect, emotional, physical abuse

    I use to be lock in a room with nothing in it for hours at a time (that all I can remember I was told since it was hours at a time)
    @BensonE im quite late but im sooo sorry to hear u've been abused, im here to talk to u abt it if u want <3

    I was on the outside, always looking in
    BensonE
  • BensonEBensonE Posts: 37 Boards Initiate
    BensonE wrote: »

    We are going back nearly 17 years ago now so I'm no longer under there care but the long term damage is still present

    The type on abuse I would think covers neglect, emotional, physical abuse

    I use to be lock in a room with nothing in it for hours at a time (that all I can remember I was told since it was hours at a time)
    @BensonE im quite late but im sooo sorry to hear u've been abused, im here to talk to u abt it if u want <3

    Thanks libby
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