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Self Harm? (Tw)
JJLemon18
Community Champion Posts: 1,982 Extreme Poster
(Mentions of self-harm. Be warned)
Hi. There is something on my mind that I was thinking about for a very long time and now I feel like it's the right time to ask about it. There is a lot of things I don't understand or don't know enough about so I might sound a bit stupid. (Also I hope this is something I can talk about here but if no then I am really sorry)
The concept of self harm is something I honestly didn't know existed for a very long time and I had no idea this is something people do. Although I still don't fully understand, I kinda see why people might do it but that's not exactly what I want to talk about now. I want to talk about what counts as "self harm" and what doesn't, I will try to be as broad as possible.
I'm sure that inflicting physical damage on yourself is definitely a form of self harm but I want to ask if self harm can be anything more than that. I am asking because I want to know if I am unknowingly self harming but I'm not even aware of it, as this could be something I could talk about with my therapist.
For example, is not caring for yourself classed as self harm in a way, such as refusing to eat, sleep or wash your teeth for example? Because in the end these things will cause "harm" to you if you don't do them.
Also this seems like a stretch but I still want to know, is mental self harm a thing? For example forcing negative thoughts on yourself to make yourself feel bad. Or another example may be purposefully putting yourself into situations that you don't like such as specifically going to crowded places while having social anxiety.
(Also I feel the need to mention that I am not saying I do all these things, these are just examples that I got from the top of my head so don't worry)
This may all sound extremely stupid and I may be overthinking as usual but I genuinely want to know. Sorry if this doesn't make sense.
Hi. There is something on my mind that I was thinking about for a very long time and now I feel like it's the right time to ask about it. There is a lot of things I don't understand or don't know enough about so I might sound a bit stupid. (Also I hope this is something I can talk about here but if no then I am really sorry)
The concept of self harm is something I honestly didn't know existed for a very long time and I had no idea this is something people do. Although I still don't fully understand, I kinda see why people might do it but that's not exactly what I want to talk about now. I want to talk about what counts as "self harm" and what doesn't, I will try to be as broad as possible.
I'm sure that inflicting physical damage on yourself is definitely a form of self harm but I want to ask if self harm can be anything more than that. I am asking because I want to know if I am unknowingly self harming but I'm not even aware of it, as this could be something I could talk about with my therapist.
For example, is not caring for yourself classed as self harm in a way, such as refusing to eat, sleep or wash your teeth for example? Because in the end these things will cause "harm" to you if you don't do them.
Also this seems like a stretch but I still want to know, is mental self harm a thing? For example forcing negative thoughts on yourself to make yourself feel bad. Or another example may be purposefully putting yourself into situations that you don't like such as specifically going to crowded places while having social anxiety.
(Also I feel the need to mention that I am not saying I do all these things, these are just examples that I got from the top of my head so don't worry)
This may all sound extremely stupid and I may be overthinking as usual but I genuinely want to know. Sorry if this doesn't make sense.
Believe in me - who believes in you
2
Comments
So from what I can gather, for me its more destructive behaviours then, I will definitely talk to my therapist about them.
There are a few small things I do that could possibly be classified as self harm but I feel like that's me overcomplicating it, I don't do them with the idea to cause harm, I just can't stop myself. I think they're more because of stress and anxiety.
Take care you two! If you need to talk about anything I'll be here too
Take care
It can be replaying bad memories or discussions in your head, it can be denying yourself posistive things. And many other things too.
Self harm can be a mental thing as well as a physical thing.
Nothing youve said is silly and its great you feel so able to ask questions here.
Sending lots of hugs.
Echoing @SpaceOtter here ( a beautiful comment
It sounds like a really great thing to bring up with your therapist, and it's great to hear that is going well
So from what I gather I don't think I self harm, which is good to know. Even though there are probably a couple things I do that could cause me harm, I definitely don't do them intentionally with the idea of causing harm.
Thank you all so much for the replies! I understand this a lot better now.
Sending lots of hugs to you all!
Forcing negative thoughts on yourself could also indicate how you feel about yourself in a similar way to self-harming, perhaps mentally hurting yourself because you feel you deserve it.
Putting yourself into situations you don't like is a tricky one. Are you being pressured to do it e.g. peer pressure to hang out? Or is it that you feel you should go out and do things, even if you don't want to? Sometimes it can help to go outside of our comfort zones but other times you may find that you are doing this because you feel you should rather than want to which may at times be harmful to you.
Regardless of whether these things are self-harm or not, it's definitely worth talking to your therapist about
I had a small phase where I felt like I deserved all this but I am now past it.
Maybe a bit of self-neglect on my side but at the same time I wish I could care about myself more, I know if I could go back in time I would change a lot of things but now it all seems so difficult (if not impossible) to fix.
Well I'm kinda just giving examples, but something that comes to my mind is the fact that I joined a society and told myself I will go to a few events even though I know I won't enjoy them and might find the experience very stressful. And I'm going because I want to get used to talking to people and not because I want to have a bad experience.
I will definitely try to bring some of these topics up with my therapist when I have the chance.
However, with the example you have provided, it sounds like you might be going through something unpleasant with the intention of seeking longer-term benefits. Am I hearing you right? Are there any events you might enjoy more where you could talk to people?
I haven't had the chance to speak to my therapist recently, the next meeting is on thursday and it feels like such a long time to wait.
I guess you could put it that way. I'm forcing myself to leave my comfort zone so far that it could cause me mental harm in a way (idk how else to put it, this sounds so dumb). My comfort zone is real small, so small that I can barely tell where it is. I know that if I don't force myself to leave my comfort zone then I'll get nowhere, but every time I do I just end up regretting it and feeling so dumb. So I guess that's my 'mental self harm', me feeling bad for myself and cutting myself away from everyone.
Honestly? No. The only place I'm comfortable talking to people is here, no one else understands me or cares.
@Laura_tigger82 I didn't explain any of this 'self harm' yet. I had a lot of more important matters to discuss for now, we ran out of time anyway haha.
And thank you! It means a lot!
How did it go talking to them about the more important matters? We are here for you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us