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contentness
ellie2000
Posts: 4,281 Community Veteran
why am i gd now? why can i manage myself years on? im not conplaining but its scary, i rarely have oo-er moments, i did hav in the 'tw:' post. was it the samaritans tht made me open up more on tht call? was it a shock tht did it?
Crazy mad insane
1
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This article on Mind explores it all better than I can explain:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/trauma/effects-of-trauma/
In terms of Samaritans, I think you are exactly right, their approach of listening and talking through pain with callers is simply fantastic. You are able to be in a space as free from judgement as possible, without people telling you what to do, how to act or what will 'fix' your pain. There is something quite relaxing about that, I reckon. I'm glad speaking with them has brought you some peace.
What do you think made you feel more okay again? xx
am i choosing to b in flight mode all the time? or is it not my fought?
This means, some people will try to make you feel bad for being sad or try to make you remember events differently from how they actually happened to you.
I think when people have made a lot of efforts to mess with your head and make you feel unsure of yourself, not only is it hard to trust others but it also makes you second-guess yourself, including when you feel 'more okay'.
I wonder if feeling okay is less fight or flight and more being at your 'okay' baseline, where life is less stressful and you can actually feel calm, rather than on alert 24/7. How does it make you feel?
In terms of the past affecting the future, I think our experiences definitely shape how we act later on, kind of like how our childhoods can affect us as adults. What's got you wondering about this? xx
I didn't no nurses worked with police on visits, since wen? Hearing they do now p***es me off.
Wats to 'gaslight people' mean?
Past events affecting future part:, wen u been through alot. U somehow lose track of the current day. U sortof get lost finding things u used to make u happy b4 wat happened to cause u to feel messy
I think a lot of it could be about trauma 'living in the body' so even though you have moved and that traumatic part of your life is 'technically over' that does not mean that your body forgets what it felt like and it can definitely cause you to feel depressed, anxious, distressed, terrified and any other confusing emotion. It sounds like it's all pretty confusing for you? especially because you were probably hoping this could be a fresh start of sorts?
Yes the police definitely can be involved during people's healthcare and mental healthcare appointments which can be very scary and make you question what right they have to be there. What upsets you about police involvement?
Gaslighting is a way to describe a type of manipulation where the person tries to make you remember events differently or cause you to feel responsible for an argument starting. For example, Person A could say "I'd be grateful if you helped around the house more" and Person B might say "well clearly you hate this relationship" and Person A says "No, I never said that" and Person B might then try to convince Person A that they are at fault for making Person B feel bad/guilty and that they are the mean one in the situation.
This article explains it in more detail:
https://www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470
In terms of the point about life being messy after trauma, this is super true. I think a lot of survivors of trauma describe how re-finding themselves is really tough, because a lot of things you used to enjoy can become 'tainted' in a way, because it just reminds you of the time of trauma. Is there anything you struggle to enjoy now?
Huge hugs xx
Police r hard to handle, they like to change their minds alot. N leave u pulling Ur hair out, weather it's wat u report, weather they believe the perpetrator over u or weather they have u by wateva rule they've made up, stupid adults for lack of support, I felt I had to keep things quiet, coz the social worker told me to.
Tht morning the popo came to check I was alright after the post I posted they were very gd police r odd. But they didn't have a nurse at tht time, why r they doin it now?
It's gone now but I still need fixing coz somedays I feel like stuff is still ongoing n I'm not free
I started enjoying games more. And I'm gonna start to go out
Completely, I think a lot of people have good reason to be wary of the police, not least of all because of past traumatising experiences with the police, but also because you never know whether the law/rules will be in your favour. This makes trying to trust them all the more scary and challenging. This is especially true when you know that people can be biased to disbelieve the truth of what has happened to you.
That sounds like such an awful position to be put in by the social worker, to be told that you can't be truthful is very scary altogether and can make you feel very alone in your pain.
I'm really glad to hear that you're thinking of ways to try to keep pushing forward through the pain and live each day to its fullest, knowing what you enjoy (like gaming) and trying to be outgoing through going outside is very impressive. I'm really proud of you, Ellie