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Advice on doing a police interview?

Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :)EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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Amy22Salix_alba_2019

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  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 597 Incredible Poster
    If you feel able to talk about it then do it. I know it won’t be easy for you but he doesn’t deserve to get away with what he did. But don’t let that come across as though I am pressing you please Xx

    It will be different but I did have to make a report to the police once. I wouldn’t say it was an interview as such but I had contacted the police on recommendations of what I can legally carry for self defence as someone made me feel really uncomfortable when I was walking home one night.

    They advised me to report it, I said I didn’t want to at first as he didn’t technically do anything wrong and left me alone. They still advised me to do it in case any other reports are made in the future.

    What id advise is to take someone you trust with you and even take something yo fidget with if you get anxious easily. Take your time and don’t forget to ask for breaks if you need tk
    Past User
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,802 Community Veteran
    LorryTruck wrote: »
    Hi,

    Some of you may know the situation around this already. Basically in short term I was sexually abused/assaulted by my dad between the ages of 11/13. When I told school they called the police and he was arrested for assault. However I was offered to do a police interview which would mean it would go to court. But under circumstances and declining mental health I changed my mind about doing it.

    This however means that there's nothing the police can do to help and he was released from bail. But the social services aren't really able to do anything either.

    The reason I refused was because I felt like I wasn't strong enough to talk about it outloud and it just seemed so impossible.

    I was just wondering basically if you think I should do it? I'm allowed to reopen the case anytime. However I wouldn't be doing it until after the exams, so maybe like June.

    Thanks

    Hi @LorryTruck I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that and I can imagine how traumatising it was for you and your well-being. I hear that you were offered an interview but decided not to do it but you were unsure of what to do during the police interview, and that quite recently you have been re-considering re-opening the case.

    I would say as long as you feel comfortable yourself in doing a police interview and you feel that you are able to get your thoughts and views across, then this might be the way to go. I would also say that just be yourself too and be honest about your experience as what happened to you was very serious and impacted you greatly. Obviously, there is no pressure in feeling like doing a police interview, it is only there if you feel ready enough to tell the police. I also agree with what @One-in-a-million mentioned about bringing a trusted person with you as if you do feel like you are struggling to talk, they could help you and it can also make you feel a lot more comfortable when the interview takes place. I'm sure that the people doing the interview would also make sure that you feel comfortable and are in a safe position to talk about what you went through.

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
    Past Usersinead276
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    sinead276Amy22
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,802 Community Veteran
    LorryTruck wrote: »
    Hi @Amy22 and @One-in-a-million

    Thanks so much for your responses <3

    I want to do it, but I feel like I physically cannot. I don't know how to talk about it and it kills me, because sometimes I want to. I just don't know how.

    I know that it would be played in court and that's also putting me off. Because no matter how ready I am it's always going to be a difficult interview. I just don't know. I remember when the police were originally involved and they asked for my statement before they arrested him (he was released on bail, however they couldn't extend the bail) that's was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I've never done something so difficult. I'm just scared that it will destroy me if that makes sense.

    I'm definitely waiting until after the exams though.

    It does sound like a very difficult thing for you to do at the moment especially as I know how hard it must be for talking about the incident. I'd say only do it when you feel ready, focus on the things you need to do first and then when you feel more ready, things may be better in a way. I know if talking about it is kind of hard, you could possibly write or make some notes that you could bring into the interview so it can help you if you do feel like you are stuck on what to say. I hear that you feel scared too and I bet at times that can be frightening. However, I would focus on what is important at the moment obviously the interview is as well as the person who hurt you shouldn't get away with what they did to you. But only do it when you feel at your best and most comfortable to do so. I'm always here too if you need someone to talk to,

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 ♥
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
    Past User
  • genderless_fungigenderless_fungi Moderator Posts: 156 Helping Hand
    Hey @LorryTruck

    I'm sorry that you've been going through so much and are feeling scared and overwhelmed to talk to the police about what happened. Feeling the need and the pressure to tell them, especially considering your father was just released from bail, but also feeling unsure and scared must be exhausting. Giving a statement is your choice and it's imperative that you feel like you're in control of this decision. I know how helpless a situation like that can make a person feel and it's so brave of you to be taking action given the circumstances, no matter if you decide to take part in the interview or not. It sounds to me like you are really putting a lot of thought into it and I hope that whatever you choose will make you feel like you're taking a step closer to working through the traumatic experience you faced.

    I see both @Amy22 and @One-in-a-million have done a great job in supporting you and giving you relevant advice. I have no experience with police reports but I remember you explaining the situation so well and in such a clear way when you first posted about it here at the mix. Maybe writing it all down the same way you did and bringing that to the police interview could help you feel more at ease and feel like you are more in control of the situation. Maybe you could write it down and read that to the police or use it during the interview to make sure that nothing gets forgotten due to anxiety if you eventually do decide to talk to them.

    Whatever you decide to do this is a safe space and we'll always support you. No matter how a person decides to face up to their own trauma and abuse, however they choose to deal with the situation is valid and what's most important is that they do the best they can to take care of themselves. If you feel like talking to the police will help you get closure and eventually do give a statement know that, however you may be feeling, you can always come here for more support and advice <3
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    Amy22
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    ebyrne556Amy22
  • ebyrne556ebyrne556 Moderator Posts: 753 Part of The Mix Family
    @LorryTruck Sounds like a good plan hope it goes ok
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with questions or concerns.
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