Andrew Tate Pt 2: What does healthy masculinity look like?

JustV

Following on from the previous Tate discussion, I thought it might be interesting to have a chat about what healthy masculinity looks like. This isn't just for guys - gals and enby people will have valuable insight into this too so please feel free to take part in this conversation.

Thinking about yourself and the other men in your life, what does healthy masculinity look like? Or if you find this easier to answer, what does it NOT look like?

Amy22

I would say that healthy masculinity would be that masculinity is all about understanding and knowing that your feelings and experiences are valid. Eventhough I am not male (therefore my own experiences will differ to someone who identifies as male), I feel that society has played a massive role in the way 'toxic masculinity' has been brought about. However, we need to break down these barriers and once they are stripped, then we can fully evaluate what it feels to be masculine in a way which isn't degrading.

This brings me to a theorist that I have studied as part of my media course (in secondary school and in college). I recently studied a theorist named Judith Butler who studies gender. She quoted that 'we perform our gender', and that 'gender is performative'. To paraphrase what Judith Butler quoted, we perform our gender whether this be through our self expression, identity or past experiences and current feelings. I personally believe that we ourselves choose to perform gender as when we break gender down it is more about self-identification rather than a pure biological label. Linking this all back to healthy masculinity I would say that it is about being comfortable with your gender and your identity. You basically don't feel the need to have to conform to a specific standard which is deemed 'acceptable' in society. That it is okay to have emotions and to feel the emotional process. I am aware that the original ideas of masculinity conveyed that men needed to be 'strong', that they were 'head of the household'. However, these societal ideas even though may have been deemed right are in fact not neccessarily right. This is because, the societal standards assume that they know the male experience. Men are in fact allowed to have emotions just like anyone else would. Men can express themselves in feminime ways. As self expression rules out what society wants.

In response to this I personally don't like to use labels when it comes to gender as it is more about the self expression and whether the person is comfortable with their own identity. I feel that society has pressurised males into conforming to Westernised beauty standards (which can be argued toxic in some ways even though this is not a full representation of the West). We should be able to feel comfortable by simply who we are.

Sorry if this was very lengthy I really enjoy posts and threads like these

AislingDM

So many answers come to mind, but the main one that is super important is for men to be 'in-touch' with their emotions. It doesn't mean they have to use big words to describe them or always be perfect in communicating them, but making efforts to try to know the difference between anger and sadness and the best way of them to communicate it with partners, friends and family.