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Sex and contraception

Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
in Sex & Relationships
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    edited September 18
    @Past User

    What is it about sex and contraception that you didn't know until yesterday?

    I don't know what kind of school you went/go to but mainstream schools are rubbish when it comes to learning about real life stuff, at least it was when I was at school.

    Are there any questions you have that you want to know more about?
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    That's not strange at all @Past User , honestly, I had a relatively similar experience. I went to a Catholic school and we were actively dissuaded from learning about sex and contraception. They were fearful that from learning we'd be more likely to have premarital sex and that was a big no no to them.

    I reckon this way of thinking is not helpful because it just creates fear and a lack of understanding among young people.

    I think it would be good to learn more to feel confident and assured Morgan. I'm happy to share some resources if you'd like?

    https://fumble.org.uk/about-us/

    <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    Completely, I think a lot of kids and young people have been failed in getting a solid sexual education, and sometimes it's religion, sometimes it's the parents and other times it's simply because the info is just not accessible. In some ways we can be grateful for the internet in making it easier to look things up, however you don't want to end up getting misinformation from memes and things that don't reflect the truth about intimacy and anatomy @Past User !

    So this first one is a bit wordy and aimed towards people who are delivering sex and relationship education, but it makes some important points about how education shouldn't merely be about the literal biology but also about how to enjoy sexual interactions and feel content with them:

    https://www.brook.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Case_Study_Report_2017_single_pages.pdf

    This other website is a fantastic resource that has a wealth of information about lots of commonly asked questions about sex:

    https://www.brook.org.uk/

    Hope this helps ! Also any questions you have, you are welcome to ask here too <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • M3GANx04M3GANx04 Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
    The school system really does fail students by lacking detail in sex education. There's so much people have to figure out on their own, which leads to the risk of unwanted pregnancy, STD's, coercion and general misconceptions.

    I'm here if you have any wueations. Happy to answer without judgement. Remember that no question is too silly and don't be uncomfortable to ask. Sex and contraception is healthy and the more you know the better.

    -Megan <3
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,933 Legendary Poster
    I’m also always here and happy to answer questions.

    Coercion is basically being pressured into something you don’t want to do. In regards to sex it can be when, for example, you say no and your partner (or anyone else for that matter) keeps on and on at you, asking and making you feel guilty until you give in and say yes. So you’re saying yes because they want you to not because you actually want to, which is not consent.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • M3GANx04M3GANx04 Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
    edited September 18
    @Past User coercion is persuading someone to do something they don't want too. For exmple, If you say no to sex but your partner keeps begging, forces you too, guilts you into it etc. Coercive sex is illegal and is a form of sexual abuse. You always have the right to say no. no means no, not attempt to persuade me.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User a virgin is someone who has never had sex. If someone says they have lost their virginity it means they have had sex
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • M3GANx04M3GANx04 Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
    edited September 18
    Hi! @Past User
    As @jess63 mentioned, Being a virgin just means you haven't had sex.
    It's just a stupid saying people have made up to be honest. You don't lose a part of yourself at all when you have sex. Nothing goes/disappears.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    edited September 18
    Hi @Past User

    Thank you for opening up such a valuable discussion. I hope this has been helpful for you so far, understanding sexuality and sexual health can be enlightening. May I ask what you mean when referring to using different words for one main thing? People may use many differing terms to refer to sex/sexual activities and all the other vocab that comes along with it. I understand this can make it seem quite overwhelming and confusing. We might be able to answer your question a bit better if you could elaborate, I'm happy to explain terms which you are unsure of.

    Take care,
    Eleanor
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    No worries @Past User , I do hope the links can be of some use!

    I think people certainly use different words for one main thing, if I understand you correctly. For example, one person might say "I had sex", whilst another might say "I did it" or "I banged them". Now, which words you use can totally depend on your age, where you are from, the sexual interaction itself, the type of person you are etc... and some people feel that certain words are disrespectful to the people they have had sex with.

    For example, the term "I banged them" can be comfortable for both people involved to use, but for others it takes away the emotions from the sex and that can feel hurtful to the other person involved. Given this, it can be really hard to know how to describe sexual acts you've done or just talking about sex generally.

    At the end of the day, a lot of it is about what makes you comfortable and I feel like I notice a lot of young people are more likely to use 'euphemisms' or slang which are words that don't directly describe the sexual act that is being described. What do you think about the whole thing?

    In terms of your second question about things being inappropriate, I reckon some people find talking about intimacy like sex somewhat uncomfortable so they can avoid it to save themselves potential embarrassment or awkwardness, so it's no wonder we've ended up with pretty dreadful sex education!
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User. Yep, it can mean the same :)
    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • M3GANx04M3GANx04 Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
    edited September 18
    Past User wrote: »
    Don't judge but......
    i know how straight people have sex but what about like 2 guys and 2 girls? Its not like they can yano
    sorry if thats stupid....been building up the courage to ask this all day :/

    Hi @Past User
    No it's not stupid at all. Well done for being brave and asking.
    Two people of the gender can totally have sex! It's completely normal, just done in a slightly different way that straight sex.
    Sex doesn't just involve penetration. It can also involve oral sex (mouth on genitals) which can be just as pleasurable. People of the same gender can be sexually active in many different ways, with oral sex being just one of them.
    I would suggest looking at informative articles online. They can be a lot of help in helping you understand the basics.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    I think it's a fantastic question @Past User and @M3GANx04 has answered it fantastically!

    Being generally curious is an awesome trait from anyone, but being part of the LGBT+ community yourself makes it especially important to understand more about how LGBT+ couples have sex with one another.

    I think all in all there are a lot of similarities in the basics of how gay couples have sex and how straight couples have sex. For example, many people of all genders have oral sex or will do fingering or hand jobs (I figure there is no point in using 'science-y' words for these acts, as it just makes things harder to understand).

    Additionally, penetration can happen as well, the difference may be about where the person is penetrated (i.e., vaginal sex or anal sex) or what a person uses to do the penetration. For a lot of straight and gay men couples the penis is used for penetration, whereas in some lesbian relationships the partners may use a dildo or a 'strap-on'.

    Now, everything I've said is certainly not the truth for all LGBT+ couples. For example, a gay couple with a cisman and a transman may have sex in a different way, and this is more than okay. Plus, every couple is different and people's way of having sex can change over the course of the relationship.

    Either way, just wanted to provide a little insight into this. I welcome any other questions and if not there are some links here for your to look through if you'd like.

    In particular the two links that I think would be most useful are:

    https://thesafezoneproject.com/resources/

    https://www.healthline.com/health/lgbtqia-safe-sex-guide
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  • M3GANx04M3GANx04 Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
    edited September 18
    Hi @Past User
    I'll give you a rough definition of the terms...

    Sexting - sending sexual messages/pictures to people via text message/social media
    Porn - Video's of other people having sex
    Revenge porn - The illegal action of spreading sexual videos/pictures of someone else without their consent.
    Grooming - An older person 'preparing' someone under 18 (e.g., being really nice to them to build their trust) to meet them with the intention of committing a sexual offence (betraying that trust and sexually assaulting them).

    I hope this helps.
    Post edited by TheMix on
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