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Sex and contraception
Past User
Posts: 0 Just got here
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What is it about sex and contraception that you didn't know until yesterday?
I don't know what kind of school you went/go to but mainstream schools are rubbish when it comes to learning about real life stuff, at least it was when I was at school.
Are there any questions you have that you want to know more about?
I reckon this way of thinking is not helpful because it just creates fear and a lack of understanding among young people.
I think it would be good to learn more to feel confident and assured Morgan. I'm happy to share some resources if you'd like?
https://fumble.org.uk/about-us/
So this first one is a bit wordy and aimed towards people who are delivering sex and relationship education, but it makes some important points about how education shouldn't merely be about the literal biology but also about how to enjoy sexual interactions and feel content with them:
https://www.brook.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Case_Study_Report_2017_single_pages.pdf
This other website is a fantastic resource that has a wealth of information about lots of commonly asked questions about sex:
https://www.brook.org.uk/
Hope this helps ! Also any questions you have, you are welcome to ask here too
I'm here if you have any wueations. Happy to answer without judgement. Remember that no question is too silly and don't be uncomfortable to ask. Sex and contraception is healthy and the more you know the better.
-Megan
Coercion is basically being pressured into something you don’t want to do. In regards to sex it can be when, for example, you say no and your partner (or anyone else for that matter) keeps on and on at you, asking and making you feel guilty until you give in and say yes. So you’re saying yes because they want you to not because you actually want to, which is not consent.
As @jess63 mentioned, Being a virgin just means you haven't had sex.
It's just a stupid saying people have made up to be honest. You don't lose a part of yourself at all when you have sex. Nothing goes/disappears.
Thank you for opening up such a valuable discussion. I hope this has been helpful for you so far, understanding sexuality and sexual health can be enlightening. May I ask what you mean when referring to using different words for one main thing? People may use many differing terms to refer to sex/sexual activities and all the other vocab that comes along with it. I understand this can make it seem quite overwhelming and confusing. We might be able to answer your question a bit better if you could elaborate, I'm happy to explain terms which you are unsure of.
Take care,
Eleanor
I think people certainly use different words for one main thing, if I understand you correctly. For example, one person might say "I had sex", whilst another might say "I did it" or "I banged them". Now, which words you use can totally depend on your age, where you are from, the sexual interaction itself, the type of person you are etc... and some people feel that certain words are disrespectful to the people they have had sex with.
For example, the term "I banged them" can be comfortable for both people involved to use, but for others it takes away the emotions from the sex and that can feel hurtful to the other person involved. Given this, it can be really hard to know how to describe sexual acts you've done or just talking about sex generally.
At the end of the day, a lot of it is about what makes you comfortable and I feel like I notice a lot of young people are more likely to use 'euphemisms' or slang which are words that don't directly describe the sexual act that is being described. What do you think about the whole thing?
In terms of your second question about things being inappropriate, I reckon some people find talking about intimacy like sex somewhat uncomfortable so they can avoid it to save themselves potential embarrassment or awkwardness, so it's no wonder we've ended up with pretty dreadful sex education!
Hi @Past User
No it's not stupid at all. Well done for being brave and asking.
Two people of the gender can totally have sex! It's completely normal, just done in a slightly different way that straight sex.
Sex doesn't just involve penetration. It can also involve oral sex (mouth on genitals) which can be just as pleasurable. People of the same gender can be sexually active in many different ways, with oral sex being just one of them.
I would suggest looking at informative articles online. They can be a lot of help in helping you understand the basics.
Being generally curious is an awesome trait from anyone, but being part of the LGBT+ community yourself makes it especially important to understand more about how LGBT+ couples have sex with one another.
I think all in all there are a lot of similarities in the basics of how gay couples have sex and how straight couples have sex. For example, many people of all genders have oral sex or will do fingering or hand jobs (I figure there is no point in using 'science-y' words for these acts, as it just makes things harder to understand).
Additionally, penetration can happen as well, the difference may be about where the person is penetrated (i.e., vaginal sex or anal sex) or what a person uses to do the penetration. For a lot of straight and gay men couples the penis is used for penetration, whereas in some lesbian relationships the partners may use a dildo or a 'strap-on'.
Now, everything I've said is certainly not the truth for all LGBT+ couples. For example, a gay couple with a cisman and a transman may have sex in a different way, and this is more than okay. Plus, every couple is different and people's way of having sex can change over the course of the relationship.
Either way, just wanted to provide a little insight into this. I welcome any other questions and if not there are some links here for your to look through if you'd like.
In particular the two links that I think would be most useful are:
https://thesafezoneproject.com/resources/
https://www.healthline.com/health/lgbtqia-safe-sex-guide
I'll give you a rough definition of the terms...
Sexting - sending sexual messages/pictures to people via text message/social media
Porn - Video's of other people having sex
Revenge porn - The illegal action of spreading sexual videos/pictures of someone else without their consent.
Grooming - An older person 'preparing' someone under 18 (e.g., being really nice to them to build their trust) to meet them with the intention of committing a sexual offence (betraying that trust and sexually assaulting them).
I hope this helps.