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Am I emotionally draining?? Be honest it cant put me in anymore pain than im feeling now
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That sounds like a really tricky thing to hear. You're doing the right thing by reaching out and getting support, but I can hear that sometimes this is tricky.
Supporting someone can take up our energy, but it's energy that we are chosing to give. It sounds like the person who you were speaking with was maybe running out of emotional energy and didn't have anything else to give that evening. And that is also okay and not your fault.
When supporting a friend who might be struggling with their mental health, it's important that we set boundaries to keep them and ourselves safe. This could look like telling a friend that you are only free to talk for a couple of hours, or maybe you aren't free at all that day because you need some time to focus on yourself. All of this is okay, and it's important that both people respect these boundaries.
When we're getting support, something I like to do is check with my friend first that they have the energy. So I might say something like "Hey, I'm struggling a little bit today and would love to talk to someone, are you around?". That gives them the opportunity to say no if they don't have the energy, and means they won't have to give support when they are drained. How does that sound?
This isn't a relfection on your Morgan or your struggles, there are always people who want to listen and support you
Would anything, in particular, help this feel more manageable for you at the moment or make you like yourself and your life, even just a little bit more?
Keep pushing forwards, one step at a time. We believe in you and are here for you and listening to you