Ppl

ellie2000

Can ppl make u lose who u r

Former Member

Hi @ellie2000,

This is quite a poignant question. Sometimes friendships/relationships can make people feel as if they are losing their identity or shifting their personality. This can be quite unsettling and damaging if the transition feels negative. May I ask whether you are experiencing this now? We can explore this together if you like, we are here for you.

Take care.

AislingDM

Just wanted to hop on and say I agree with El @ellie2000 , navigating changes within yourself since having relationships with others (whether friendships or romantic ones) can be really challenging. I suppose the big questions are 1) are you happy with who you have become since this person came into your life? 2) what makes them responsible for the changes? (this second one might seem like a silly question, but it can be a good exercise to deeply think about how you feel about your relationships with other people).

Former Member

I truly believe this and it doesn't have to be negative either, people who respect, support and empower you can also rub off on your character. I believe an important factor of who we are is also what we consume and the people we surround ourselves with is included in this. So toxic people or toxic things in your life can make you lose who you are.

Do you feel this way about someone?

ellie2000

Wat does 'rub off on ur character' mean?

ellie2000

I expect ppl to treat me always with goodness but r ppl afraid of my niceness, thts y they do horrible things once they no I gained their trust?

Former Member

@ellie2000

What I mean by 'rub off on your character' is just when we surround ourselves with people, certain aspects of their behaviour we can adopt and it can become part of us, just naturally. Whether this be positive, or negative.

I do believe sometimes people take advantage of sincerity and kindness. I believe sometimes people subconsciously attach themselves to someone that is kind-hearted, for their own benefit. I'd say, sometimes saying no to people, having boundaries with relationships, and putting yourself first, can have a really positive effect on you.

Would you feel comfortable enough to share what kind of horrible things people have done?

Sending hugs

ellie2000

Abuse of power, bullying and sexual assault. Fortunately now I've moved so I don't hav to worry about those low lives. I'm safe now I moved 😊

Former Member

@ellie2000

I'm so pleased to hear that you now feel safe after moving, you are worthy of living in an environment which is free of fear.

You have mentioned some events which may have been very traumatic for you, would you like to explore these with us? We are able to provide further support if this is something you are interested in. You are not in this alone, we are here by your side.

ellie2000

@el_rose0110 wat do u mean explore

AislingDM

I reckon El is thinking of just talking some more about how these traumatising experiences make you feel and how you've been able to cope since they have happened @ellie2000 Of course there is no pressure to talk about this if you're not feeling up to it xxx