I need some help with my dating life

Former Member

Do dating apps actually work? I been on a lot of apps and never get any matches. Should I just give up on trying to find any one date? I am 35 years old, don’t really have a lot of friends. I moved away from home for work and don’t know anyone where I live now.

Amy22

Hi @thomas10012 I hear that you have been struggling with dating apps at the moment and that you have also recently moved home and don't know anyone in the place that you moved to. I just wanted to say please don't give up on these apps straight away, I would keep trying as you never know you might actually find a match at some point. As someone who haven't really used any dating apps, I'm not very familiar with how they work. However, I do know that you have moved to a new place. Hmm I wonder if they are any clubs or places you could go to that tie in with any interests that you have?. Sometimes going to a club or somewhere that includes a activity or interest of yours, you may find someone with the same interests as you which could start something. Love is a very hard thing in a way but I know that there is someone out there waiting for you. Sometimes love and dating just unexpectedly happens for some. I know that myself when I met my boyfriend.

I would say keep trying and getting out there is a great place to start. Hopefully this helps,

Sending hugs,

Amy22

AislingDM

Hi @thomas10012 ! Thank you for coming to ask your question here on The Mix Firstly, being so disheartened by these apps and the way the dating scene has changed makes a lot of sense to be honest. Having to have an entire interaction with someone, and figure out whether you like them, online is quite tough. Secondly, despite this being true, and dating online definitely being a challenge, I have lots of friends of different ages who have had much success on dating apps. By and large the most regular piece of advice they give is 'choose the app wisely'. People's intentions vary depending upon what app they are on, so making sure you choose one where the users are looking for relationships is important

Also, I just wanted to let you know that The Mix is designed for young people between the ages of 13 and 25 and so there are other websites that would likely have advice and support that is better tailored to you, such as https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/.

I do hope this helps, and thank you for talking to us on here

Former Member

No dating apps and dating websites are rubbish. Especially for men because on most of them men vastly outnumber women so there is far too much competition. More competition than you would find in real life. I gave up on using dating websites about 14 years ago after spending seven years using them and getting nowhere. Apart from meeting about six women who did not then stay in touch.

Former Member

Hey @thomas10012

It depends whether you feel it's affecting you mentally, by not getting matches. When I had dating apps, I found that I was being really superficial, and it was so bad for me mentally because I became someone I was not, so I got rid of all of them and would never get them again. However, I've seen it work for my friends. The apps can be different and more solely catered to certain things, but I would say it is just a case of working for some, and not for others. If it is affecting your self-esteem, then it's not worth it because that can have a knock-on affect.

I would agree with Amy22, finding a club sounds like a good option to meet new people where you live, also meetup.com/ is great to meet others without the added pressure of a dating app.

I hope this helps you, we are always here for support