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I get to see him

mk1881mk1881 Posts: 131 The Mix Convert
in Sex & Relationships
While this isn't guaranteed I feel the need to celebrate. My best friend Thomas is coming tomorrow. I'm incredibly excited. Those of you that know of him, know that he's really special to me. He's been away for three weeks. I am elated at the prospect of seeing him in person.
"But our lives will only ever always Continue to be A balancing act That has less to do with pain And more to do with beauty." -Shane Koyczan

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    jess63jess63 Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
    Thats great news @mk1881! I hope you had a great time with him
    The steps you take don't have to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.
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    mk1881mk1881 Posts: 131 The Mix Convert
    @jess63, Thank you, I did. I only got to spend an hour with him cause I was busy from the time we were supposed to spend together and then we spent time with his girlfriend. His girlfriend isn't a huge fan of me, but I think we're working on it.
    "But our lives will only ever always Continue to be A balancing act That has less to do with pain And more to do with beauty." -Shane Koyczan
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    Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,027 Community Veteran
    @mk1881 That sounds very lovely that you got to see your friend in such a long time. I hope you had a lovely time visiting him and his girlfriend :)
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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    sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,066 Wise Owl
    @mk1881 glad to hear you had a good time with your friend, even if it was short and who knows maybe in the future you and his girlfriend will also become better friends

    Sending hugs,
    Sinead
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    So happy to hear that you were able to see someone who is so close to you @mk1881 <3 It sounds like he's such an important guy in your life! Fingers crossed things can become easier with his girlfriend also, did you want to talk at all about what makes it harder for you guys to be friends? xx
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    mk1881mk1881 Posts: 131 The Mix Convert
    @sinead276, thank you so much it was a good moment. I saw him again and gave him his welcome home present at work which he loved. We walked to go get it just us and apparently we have to set ground rules because of his girlfriend. She doesn't feel comfortable about us just hanging out together. But he said he would find loopholes. @AislingDM, it's a little hard just because if she would just admit that I make her uncomfortable I would have more respect and try to honor her feelings more. But Thomas is my bestfriend and if he doesn't have a problem then I'm going to focus on his feelings. I don't know. I'm not super worried about it, I'm just glad I'm still able to see him at all.
    "But our lives will only ever always Continue to be A balancing act That has less to do with pain And more to do with beauty." -Shane Koyczan
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    RenPRenP Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    @mk1881

    Aw so happy for you that you finally got to see each other! How are you feeling now you've seen him?

    I think setting clear boundaries may be good for everyone, do you think you would approach her to ask if/why she feels uncomfortable with you both being friends? It could open up a chance to have a really honest conversation so may be good for all parties.

    Is he back to stay?

    :)
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Completely agree @mk1881 , I think this is the most mature way to do things. Ultimately, if she doesn't feel comfortable being honest about how she perceives your friendship with Thomas, then nothing can really be changed anyway. I think it's also very understanding of you that you would be receptive if she were just honest about her feelings, because a lot of people would not show that kind of compassion and deference for another person <3

    I definitely think you're right, no point in overanalysing the whole thing so long as you and Thomas are getting on well and nothing is actually encroaching on their romantic relationship. I'm wondering if there is any context in which the girlfriend and you could strike up some natural convos that aren't based around Thomas? I know it sounds silly but even like 'omg I watch The Vampire Diaries too' could work =)
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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