Situation at work is stressing me out!

One-in-a-million

At the nursery I work at we are learning about body part and we had just finished a dance when a child said “this is my body.”

I saw a good opportunity to lightly touch on body safety as this child had sort of initiated it. I started off by asking “who does your body belong to.” Most of the children said “me” which I praised. I then asked do we no what our private parts are (I did not directly name these parts) but some of the children used pointing as a way to show me

which again I praised and said “thats right.” And basically I said “whos allowed to see them.” again a particular child said “me!” I again told him he was right and said “are others allowed to see them?” He answered “no! We say no way!”

I got the impression that this child had obviously been taught this at home. I gently touched on in a simple way “who do we tell if someone tried to.” They children then came up with a lot of people they would tell such a mummy daddy, nanna, grandad. (me) and other staff names.

I obviously didn’t want to go too deep into it and only took the initiative to do what I did due to a child mentioning it was his body.

I told a staff member I was very pleased with a particular child who had a good understanding of body safety and knew who to go to.” This staff member said “what do you mean?” I explained what had happened and they said “yeah but they are around trusted adults at this age so most probably wouldn’t get it.”

I kind of got the feeling she didn’t approve and I know it can be a squeamish topic

now all I can think about is what if the parents take the same veiw?
Did I over step?
am I going to get in trouble?
Did I go too far?

I didn’t dig into it as far as I would have with my own child (I would name body parts) as I know different people have different views

But I’m stressing and my anxiety is high!!!!

jess63

Hey @One-in-a-million

I'm hearing that you're feeling worried after a situation at work. I think some people feel awkward talking about this sort of stuff but I personally think it's so important to teach children about this. From what you've said it sounds like this child had already been taught about body safety from his parents, which is great.

I'm also hearing that you feel another staff member didn't approve. That sounds really tough. How would you feel about speaking to the member of staff about this? I think people have different opinions on when body safety should be taught, but there's some great books and resources that can be used to explain it to younger children and I think a lot of parents are choosing to explain it to their children at a younger age.

Please keep us updated with how you're feeling

One-in-a-million

Hey so I’m feeling a little better, I did observe this particular child and the observation has been approved which means the manager has read and approved it so it must be ok 👍 😮‍💨

I was so proud at first then panic set in but it looks like its all good

Stellaluna

@One-in-a-million pleased you are feeling better. This topic could be uncomfortable or difficult for some staff members. It is clear your intentions are coming from a very good place, and it is a big responsibility looking after young children and trying to keep them safe. It is hard to tell exactly what this staff member’s comment meant or if it was disapproval without asking them. Anyway, it seems like you did a good job and @jess63 gave some great insights.

AislingDM

Just wanted to pop on and say that to me it seems clear that you have done an absolutely stellar job here @One-in-a-million In any role with vulnerable people, especially kids, broaching topics like this is immensely challenging and complex, especially because, as you say, people have such a variety of views on how to handle these topics. Yet, you continued to approach it with bravery and confidence at the children's level.

Many people would shy away from having these conversations in an overt way, but I strongly believe these can be integral to preventing abuse and/or preventing abuse from going on for a prolonged period without the child being helped by those around them

It's no wonder you're left feeling stressed after the interaction with your colleague, especially because you likely felt proud of the kids and how well the conversation went, only to be met with and underwhelming response that could be read as disdain It's like you're so happy with yourself and then you're forced to feel confused about whether or not you did the right thing.

I reckon, in roles like this, you will always have people who make you feel like you are overstepping or that certain 'newer' techniques are not appropriate for young kids, but we have to look at the children's responses and see that if they were happy during the conversation, we are likely doing the right thing

Huge well done from me. I think you are a very impressive person and the kids are lucky to have you working there xxx