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Hurtful comments from my dad

Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand

My dad kept looking over at me and then raised his voice at me, saying that he knows something’s up. Then, he said I come downstairs and sit between people and make a stupid face. I explained to him that I wasn’t comfortable with sharing what was on my mind because my emotions aren’t accepted in the house. Also, he has shouted at me and said nasty comments to me whenever I was upset in the past. At one point, he said he bets what was on my mind is something stupid. I said that he is trying to change the way I am, when my sensitivity is one of my personality traits. However, he just dismissed my feelings. He said that I will be on my own then and that no one is going to want to be with someone who is sensitive. His comment really hurt me because it he has made me feel my sensitivity is unpleasant for others. He has said similar comments about my sensitivity in the past. My brother got involved in the argument, saying that I will just tell a helpline about what my dad said, and he said he doesn't care if I do and they will get me my own place. My brother accused me of being upset about making lunch, just to stir the argument. Then, my dad just turned everything around on me and played the victim, saying that it might be me not liking the truth rather than his comments being hurtful. So, I went upstairs to my bedroom and written all of this incident down. I overheard my brother laugh about my dad discussing me to my mum downstairs. My dad asked her if she thought she has done harm to me, to get at her for supporting me through the situation. He said to her that it is better if she gets a place with me, he doesn't know what he has done, and he's not apologising for nothing. My mum was naïve, when she heard me explain why I did not tell him what was wrong. He said that the therapists couldn’t care less about my problems, and they’ll just say anything to get paid, which has discouraged me about using it to help me deal with my problems. He brought up a scenario of how it will be for me when I have make different changes to design when I have a graphic design job. It was unfair of him to get me to open up about what was on my mind, when he was saying these comments. I have been feeling resentment about him playing the victim in all of this. My mum and voices in my head were telling me to forget about all the comments, which has only put pressure on me to snap out of how I am feeling, and get on with life, being unaffected by comments.


  • jess63jess63 Posts: 269 The Mix Regular
    Hi @Creativeboy23

    Well done for reaching out to the community, that is really brave of you. I'm hearing that your dad was making nasty comments to you and dismissing your feelings. That sounds really tough. I think being sensitive is a good personality trait and I definitely don't think it's unpleasant for others.

    I'm also hearing that you're feeling discouraged about using a therapist after your dad said they don't care about your problems. Therapists are there to listen to you and offer support and not to judge. How do you feel about seeing your therapist?

    We're all here for you, keep us updated with how you're feeling.
    The steps you take don't have to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 2,920 Boards Guru
    Echoing everything @jess63 has said, we're all here for you @Creativeboy23 and you've taken a positive step reaching out here for support <3

    It sounds really difficult what's happening at home with your dad and your feelings are completely valid. No one should ever have their feelings dismissed and be made to feel this way. Your feelings are important and you will always deserve support for anything you're going through.

    I'm sorry to hear what your dad said about seeing a therapist. As Jess mentioned, they are there to listen and support you through anything you're going through. It's really hard to carry these things on your own and a therapist can offer a safe and supportive space to talk through anything.

    Really well done again for reaching out here to us. I'm really glad The Mix is a space where you can be open about what's happening at home. We're always here for you <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand
    edited September 2022
    Hello @jess63 and @Aife.

    He sure did @jess63 and it was difficult @Aife. I was really affected by the comments, making it challenging to move on but I seem to have gotten over them now. I agree. I always try to tell myself that but I have been made to feel bad for being sensitive. However, I appreciate the reassurance @jess63.

    I agree with @jess63 and @Aife . They are. I am not discouraged about therapy anymore @jess63. I have been feeling okay with seeing my therapist. That is so true @Aife , otherwise you are carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders.

    Thanks. I appreciate both of your support <3.
    Post edited by Creativeboy23 on
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    Just wanted to say I'm glad to hear you are doing better in terms of the comments and stuff and haven't let his comments win in terms of going to and being okay with therapy (as you should be)

    Sending hugs
    Sinead :3
  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand
    Hello @sinead276.

    Thank you for your kind words.

    Sending hugs to you too,


  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Just wanted to pop on and add that sounds so exhausting @Creativeboy23 :( I think half the time with family people think they can get away with cruelty because 'hey, that's family for you'. Which certainly is not fair, because we are equally as entitled to respect and kindness from the people we live with in my opinion! Also, I think you're so awesome for talking to us all about this and hopefully this can remind you that there is no need to rush yourself to feel better when you're talking with us. You deserve space and time to be happy and relaxed, and no one can tell you any different. <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with questions or concerns.
  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 166 Helping Hand
    Hello @AislingDM.

    It sure was exhausting. I agree with you. They do.

    Wide words.

    I have moved on from that now. I have been keeping myself busy and entertaining myself. <3
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 2022
    Love to hear it <3 You deserve to feel that sense of happiness @Creativeboy23 xxx
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with questions or concerns.
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