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Sexual abuse?

annasannas Posts: 41 Boards Initiate
in Sex & Relationships
Since I was 20 weeks pregnant my dad has started showing an interest in my baby bump and he has talked about having sex with me once the baby is here. I am scared that I might be having his baby in the future.

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    StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @annas

    Just wanted to check in to see how you are doing? :heart:

    Sorry to hear about what your dad is saying to you, and it's understandable that you feel scared. How would you feel about speaking to your dad and asking him to not say those things to you? Also are you able to limit the time that you spend with your dad?

    It's really positive that you've opened up to us about this. We care about you and we are here for you.
    Have you told anyone else about this? Anyone else you trust that you could talk to about this?

    Sending hugs :smile:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

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    Charlotte47Charlotte47 Deactivated Posts: 46 Boards Initiate
    @annas , It is a very brave step you have made in reaching out, we want to be able to support you at this time. You will have seen that the team here have sent you a direct message to see if we can help at all and suggested some other places that might be able to help. Please know that we are here if you have any questions at all. @Charlotte47 and the Community team
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hi @annas just echoing what has already been said, but we’re here for you if / when you want to talk more, hope you are ok and sending you love 💜
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    annasannas Posts: 41 Boards Initiate
    Thanks all. I am finding my dads behaviour difficult to manage at the moment, my dad keeps putting his hands on my bump to feel the baby and kick which I am finding a little odd. Mum tells him to stop as that’s my boyfriends domain. I am back to school next week so I will spend less time around him. I haven’t told anyone about this, I have asked the midwife how soon after birth I can get pregnant again, she said it’s possible to be pregnant again within 6 weeks have birth.
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,985 Community Veteran
    Thts called Incest n is illegal. Tell police. It mite class as p__phillia at tht point
    Crazy mad insane
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    annasannas Posts: 41 Boards Initiate
    Yesterday afternoon I went for a lie down as my tummy is getting bigger. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and not very long afterwards I was joined by my dad. He played with my breasts, ran his hands over my belly and played with my vagina to the point that he turned me on.

    I tried to not let him have sex with me as I was so turned on. I think I could be pregnant again soon after I have this baby.
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,039 Boards Guru
    You're doing really well opening up to us all @annas, I really admire how brave you've been to reach out for support and we're always here for you <3

    I'm hearing how much you're going through and how tough things are at home with your Dad. It really feels like you're going through so much right now, and I'm also aware that you're about to be a mum for this first time and feeling worried you may become pregnant again soon after the new baby is born. I can imagine how scared you might be feeling especially those times when you're alone with your Dad.

    How do you feel about getting in touch with some support services outside of The Mix to share what's happening at home with your Dad? I've listed a few below if you wanted to have a look and ask any questions about them. There might be a few community members here who are going through similar experiences to you or have used one of these services before.

    ChildLine offers information, advice and confidential counselling to anyone aged 18 and under on any issue affecting them. Their phone line is open all day every day by calling on 0800 1111, or you can go to www.childline.org.uk to access their webchat service.

    Women & Girls Network (WGN) offers a range of advice, practical help, counselling and signposting options for women and girls across London affected by gendered violence. This includes, but is not limited to, childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence and rape. This service is free, women-only and survivor-led. Their advice line is 0808 801 0660 and is open 10am - 4pm Monday to Friday and additional hours of 6-9pm on Wednesdays. If you'd prefer email support, their email is advice@wgn.org.uk.

    If you're feeling unsafe at any point, and you feel your Dad might harm you or your baby when they are born, we would also urge you to call the emergency services on 999 so that they can provide emergency and immediate support.

    Your midwife and doctors or nurses are also people you can reach out to as well :)

    Hope to hear back from you soon Annas, keep us updated with how you're feeling. We're here for you <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,985 Community Veteran
    the baby could have defects, if it was sex with a family member. family sex is incest and thts illegal. if it was against ur will (without saying yes) go to the police. GET OUT NOW!!! u can escape if he is emotionally abusing u too
    Crazy mad insane
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Huge well done for speaking to us so clearly about how complex this situation is for you @annas , each of your emotions are beyond understandable, especially given how overwhelming this all must be, so please do not feel guilty in any way for them. I will not say too much, as I do not want to pile on, but I hope you'll feel able to have a look at some of the resources that have been offered <3 xx
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    It's completely understandable to be so concerned about the baby and their health in the future @ellie2000 and the fact that you are so keen to support annas through this painful and confusing time shows your wonderful compassion <3 I just thought I'd gently remind you of how tough it can be to report things to the police in these situations and we will continue to support annas no matter what! Glad to know you are here for them too xx
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    hr13hr13 Posts: 2 Newbie
    I understand how Anna feels, my brother likes to have sex with me and recently I feel like something might have happened on a sexual note.
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    annasannas Posts: 41 Boards Initiate
    I was lieing down yesterday evening when my dad came into me and played with my breasts. He then ran hands over me. He likes to play with me and sucking my breasts.
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    Emma_Emma_ Community Manager Posts: 601 Incredible Poster
    Hey @hr13 and @annas it sounds like things are quite tricky for you both at the moment with a lot going on with the relationships with your family members.

    It can feel scary when a relative, whether that's your brother or dad, interacts with you on a sexual level, especially when it's not consentual. Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfortable, and although it can be tricky, you always have the right to say no to anything you don't want to do, or be done to you. How are you feeling about this at the monent?

    What support do you think would be helpful that The Mix, and the community here can help with?

    As well as the community, we have our helpline that is open 4pm - 11pm Monday - Saturday, where you can call to speak to someone about what's going on for you at the moment. The number free to call and you can call on: 0808 808 4994

    You can also reach out to ChildLine which offers information, advice and confidential counselling to anyone aged 18 and under on any issue affecting them. Their phone line is open all day every day by calling on 0800 1111, or they also have a webchat service.
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Couldn't agree more with what Emma has said <3 You deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own home @annas and you are doing such a wonderful job talking to us about how your dad is treating you. Just letting you know that we are all still here if you'd like to talk anymore. Huge well done for being so open and honest with us xxx
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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