Life after university

Former Member

I bloody loved university, everyone told me it'd be the best days of my life and (as much as they better not be the actual 'best days' otherwise, what's the point in the days that follow) it was genuinely amazing.

But, what nobody prepared me for, was life AFTER university. It's like i'm stuck in purgatory being constantly told to 'get a job' and that 'i'm being lazy' when in reality i'm just shit scared to start a job I don't enjoy because of other people's pressure, and then being stuck there forever.

A lot of my friends have already lined up their next degrees or placements etc. which makes me think 'crap I really should have been preparing for this more', but I just have absolutely NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO. Nothing interests me, it's not like I have a talent that I can utilise, and I don't have the money to immediately bury myself in a masters to prolong the inevitable 'you're no longer a student' part of my life.

So, if you're in a similar position of being lost and unsure of what to do next (no matter at what point of life you are in, whether your 15 or 50) - share it here and let's get our stress out together, because I did not endure years of acne and awkward sex to believe that by 21 i'd have my shit together just to be spat out after education and be more confused and anxious than I was then. There's power in numbers people, so let's de-stress by discussing how much of a shit-stirrer life can be.

Amy22

@NataschaAnn I totally agree on what you said about life after uni. Honestly, I'm in college and I'm about to go into my second year. To be honest I'm kinda scared about what I'm going to do next. I know that I got plenty of time really. I always felt like there was a pressure for people to like get a job and work n stuff. Work is important I guess as at some point I'm gonna need a job. My secondary school always drilled on about how we should go to uni and shit as it would make us successful. Like come on not everyone wants to go to uni you know. I love college at the moment as its the best choice I ever made tbh. Though everyone in the class seems to have a plan of what they are doing, like they have got their whole lives ahead of them. Then there's me. Someone who procrasinates and often does stuff last minute. I'm supposed to have an idea of what I'm going to do when I go back into second year (like project wise) and I haven't thought about it 😂. God help me. Honestly I'm going to stop ranting now but I'm glad you made this thread tbh, it's very helpful .

Laura_tigger82

I can hear you feel more confused and anxious now that you have finished university @NataschaAnn. It takes a lot of courage to share that.

It sounds like these emotions are mainly caused by being told to get a job despite being scared to start a job you don't enjoy due to the pressure.

Would you feel comfortable sharing more with us, such as why you think you would become stuck there forever?

It sounds like peer comparison, not being interested in anything and not thinking you have talent are feeding into this. Would you feel comfortable sharing what talent looks like to you?

I am also hearing that a Master's degree is something you might like to do if you had the money.

Some signposts which might be able to help you further with this include:

• Student Finance
• National Careers Service
• Your preferred university's admissions team - sometimes they offer scholarships and other funding sources

Please feel free to keep us in the loop. We are all here for you

Laura_tigger82

It sounds really difficult that you are feeling similar @Amy22. I can hear you are feeling scared about what to do after college despite knowing you have time to decide.

I can hear how there is pressure on uni and on getting a job and those are seen as the usual routes. Factoring into this is peer comparison.

In an ideal world, if you could do anything, what would you choose - what are your interests? Please feel free to keep us in the loop. We are all here for you

Amy22

Hi @Laura_tigger82 thank you so much for the advice. Its that I kinda always felt like I needed to do uni even though there are plenty of options. It's that I'm in second year now and I kinda need to have an idea of what I would like to do. I am interested in script writing and I would say I am a creative person at heart. I guess I always have been really. I know if it was possible, I would like to go into the film industry (hence why I am doing a Level 3 creative media course). Though I know its very competitive to get into. My college does do apprenticeship kind of things for that. I'm unsure if I might get into it though.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Amy22. It sounds like you already have lots of insight into your hopes and strengths, well done.

I can hear that you are interested in script writing and are a creative person at heart. It sounds like this is something you have always been interested in.

Would you have a particular favourite role you would like to do in the film industry if it was possible? Hopefully, your level 3 creative media course will help you to get there.

I can hear your nerves are mainly around it being very competitive and being unsure if you might get into it. What makes you think you might not get into it?

Good luck! We are all here for you if you would like to talk further about this

Amy22

Thank you @Laura_tigger82 thank you for your support . I've always been very creative and I love being able to do something creative. I always found script writing interesting as lots of people prefer acting and things like that. But I always wanted to be behind the scenes, the one who writes the film. If I had a particular role, I'd say I would go into being a director/script writer as I know that I am interested in directing (eventhough I'm very social awkward and terrible at explaining things). I'm hoping my creative media course will be able to open some doors for me.

I think the creative industry is competitive as they want the best and only the best in things really I would say. I feel like my ideas might not be good enough to be seen on the screen and that they might not want me really. Also because of my hidden disabilities I guess I always been worried about wether they would employ someone like me.

Thank you so much though for helping me I'm looking forward to doing my second year of my course and I can't wait to make more memories

Amy22

I also wanted to mention quickly that I have always been very ambitious and sometimes I do find I put too much pressure on myself than necessary. I always want to be unique and find something new but I find it can cause me to get stressed most of the time. My ambition can be one of my flaws to be honest.

AislingDM

That makes so much sense @NataschaAnn , it's like you're living the dream studying and having amazing times with friends, then suddenly everyone around you just expects you to find a 9-5 at the drop of a hat I think this can be made all the more frustrating when people from older generations (like parents) forget that the job market is a bit more complex to enter nowadays (you can't just turn up to your favourite shop, CV in hand, and expect an interview)

Importantly, you should know that you are definitely not lazy, at all. The fact that you have achieved amazing things at university is already clear evidence of that! Plus, I think it's critical to remember that cliched advice that everyone always gives: you don't have to figure it all out right away. I mean, I graduated a year ago and I am much happier in my minimum wage job (because it's so fulfilling, of course the wage should be higher!) than a few of my direct-to-grad-scheme friends. This is not to say that placements, internships and grad schemes are not awesome routes, because they definitely are. However, giving yourself room to consider which field appeals most to you is more than fine, because you'd rather explore your options now, then regret it in ten years time, right?

Finally, I'd also add, that being 21 nowadays is a bit different to our parents' generation because back then, you could work really hard and buy your own 1-bed flat independently, now that's a pipe dream to most people. So, the whole notion of 'adulthood' and getting your "sh*t together" is not quite the same. Although, I definitely get the appeal of wanting to be more 'put-together'.

Either way, you're doing very well and try really hard not to listen to people who are being overly-dramatic about having to make all your life decisions in the next 6 months xx

Former Member

Thank you guys so much with interacting and offering your own advise and stories, just knowing that other people feel similar and being told 'you're not lazy' genuinely helps more than I thought it could. So thank you.

NeonBlueThunder1

Amy22 wrote: »

But I always wanted to be behind the scenes, the one who writes the film. If I had a particular role, I'd say I would go into being a director/script writer as I know that I am interested in directing (eventhough I'm very social awkward and terrible at explaining things). I'm hoping my creative media course will be able to open some doors for me.

I think the creative industry is competitive as they want the best and only the best in things really I would say. I feel like my ideas might not be good enough to be seen on the screen and that they might not want me really. Also because of my hidden disabilities I guess I always been worried about wether they would employ someone like me.

I'm actually studying something related to media, previously did a creative media course at college, which I think played a part in getting to uni. So, I can confirm that it can help get your foot in the door to do script writing and directing.

Also, any employer shouldn't just say no purely on the grounds of disability, because that's discrimination if they do so, plus it's against the law for them to do that. It doesn't hurt to mention anything that could be concerning you at an interview, as then the company or employer could suggest ways to help make the job easier for you.

Amy22

Thank you so much @NeonBlueThunder1 it's that I guess I always been nervous about things really in terms of jobs and uni. I guess I'm having mixed feelings about whether I do uni or an apprenticeship. Thank you so much , . I have started feeling a bit more better about it.

NeonBlueThunder1

Amy22 wrote: »

Thank you so much @NeonBlueThunder1 it's that I guess I always been nervous about things really in terms of jobs and uni. I guess I'm having mixed feelings about whether I do uni or an apprenticeship. Thank you so much , . I have started feeling a bit more better about it.

That's great to hear.