I feel guilty claiming i'm bisexual

Former Member

To put it all on the table, my own sexual preference is that I don't give a flying fuck if you're a female or male as long as I find you attractive. I'd say that's not unordinary, right? But I do currently believe that I wouldn't be able to form a romantic connection nor be in a relationship with a female.

However, I feel overwhelmingly guilty when I express myself as 'bisexual', even though I am, in fact, sexually attracted to both sexes. Also to be clear, this guilt I have is directly towards those who are apart of the LGBTQ+ community, as I feel as though it's wrong of me to use such a title when I know for a fact I'm not attracted to females on an emotional level. In a way I feel like an imposter.

Even though I completely advocate for the 'who gives a damn who you are or who you're attracted to, labels are restrictive, just be yourself', these kind of questions always tend to come out through things such as drinking games, which to then I have no idea what to 'label' myself. Because I'm not straight, but for some reason I always have this fear that if I were to say I'm bisexual and explain it's only for sexual reasons, i'll just be looked at like 'oh get lost you're just another girl who got drunk and experimented at university, you're not actually bisexual', ya'know?

Laura_tigger82

It sounds like you are processing a lot at the moment @NataschaAnn. It takes a lot of strength and courage to identify what you are experiencing and share it with us.

I hear how you feel guilty and an imposter labelling yourself as bisexual despite being sexually attracted to both sexes.

It sounds like you feel guilty and an imposter way because you don't feel attracted to females on an emotional level.

Would anything, in particular, make this feel more manageable for you at the moment? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us

Former Member

Hey @NataschaAnn I can relate to some of this 😊 Not unordinary at all. I don’t really have advice because I try to avoid labelling myself too (I prefer to use Queer if I have to) but genuinely just believe you ‘own’ your sexuality… it’s no one else’s to judge if you are an imposter or not. Just try to enjoy it without all that label pressure where you can!

Maisy

I agree that you might want to try using another term/label if it helps to ease the guilt e.g. queer. But I don't think you should feel guilty about using the term bisexual, while you are sexually attracted to both men and women, but feel unable to have an emotional relationship with women. I'm not part of the LGBT+ community (so pardon my ignorance) but sexuality is about, well, sexual attraction. I can feel intense emotions (e.g. love), for people of my own sex, but I'm not sexually attracted to them, so I don't consider myself to be anything other than heterosexual.

But I guess this is what makes sexuality, labels and community all the more confusing...we each have our own interpretation of things. For example, I once read a thread on another forum about 'squishes' and every person who commented had a slightly different definition of a squish and threshold for physical intimacy (e.g. hugs, hand holding, but excluding sexual things).But every single person identified as aromantic or asexual. Just because they vary slightly, it doesn't make them any less of what they are. And it really isn't for anyone else to say because no-one can know exactly what you are feeling.

You are in control of how much you want to reveal/talk about to others. You don't have to explain yourself (especially if you feel the person may judge you) to anyone at all.