What advice would you give to someone struggling with change?

Aoife

Hey everyone,

Change is something we all go through and it can be really difficult to go through too whether it's going to a new school, starting a new job, moving somewhere or another life change. I thought this would make a nice discussion here for everyone to share their own tips to help others who are struggling with change.

Comment below you tips

Amy22

Hey @Aife I think this is a great thread. I wish we could do more threads on things like these. I totally agree with you on change, as it can be a daunting thing to go through and everyone will probably experience change throughout their lives. I know change can be a very scary thing, but change can be good in some ways. This is because, with change comes a new adventure and a new experience. Change often leads to the next chapter in our lives.

Owl

it sounds daft, but i find the bigger changes easier if you incorporate little changes into the day-to-day too, like buying a different brand of biscuits, or walking a different route or watching a new tv show or whatever, rigidity just makes the inevitable changes harder but also it's just a bit boring!!

im sure we're all fed up of hearing that mindfulness is a panacea (i want pancakes now), but people who are regular meditators cope with routine better. also, rituals!! having a little ritual before we do something helps for some reason - i remember a psych study where 2 groups of people had to sing dont stop believing in front of judges and the group that did some weird ritual where they put salt on some paper and scrunched it up or whatever were better singers

rituals must have some science behind them because astronauts do it! american astronauts play poker with the ground people until they win to "get rid of the bad luck" and russian cosmonauts pee on the wheel of their bus on the way to the launchpad because that's what Yuri Gagarin did

great thread and advice so far!

Chloe234

hey @Aife

I dont even think the change has to be that, it can be stuff like school holidays, and not going to school which makes me struggle, it can be getting close to a teacher that really helps you and then going a long period of time without them. It can be loosing someone big in your life and having to adapt without them. It can be having something traumatic happen and being petrified of something you once loved and being scared of a needed thing. Idk those are a couple things i struggle with but its not really answer to your question. So lets give this a go:

Change is something thats in everyones life and sometimes people struggle with change and sometimes they dont.

Either or this is perfectly normal

I think that to help with something like change in routine, could be to normalise it as much as possible and if not that slowly introduce yourself into it when possible. And it may help trying to keep as much structure/normality as you can by maybe having meals at the same time, if you go for a walk still do that, if you go to the gym ect.

I think another thing that can help is talking about it and getting how you feel about the change off of your chest and it doesnt even have to be to someone who can support you, in fact it doesnt even have to be a person, it can be ateddy you really like, it can be an animal, it can be a childhood item, it can be anything really! And you may find that even doing that makes you feel slightly better

I feel like another important thing to do is always have "you time" even if the change is big or all its always important to look after yourswlf and even if thats taking five minutes out a busy day to do something for yourself like read a book, do your makeup, go for a walk, talk to family and/or friends, or even sitting quietly for five mins ect. Whatever it is, do it for you. And during this time it may even be helpful to reflect on your emotions.

I think also what some people do is fight the change. This can build up more and more stress around it and they may not even notice so i feel like even if you dont feel like you are fighting the change but you are struggling you could try telling yourself "you know what, this is changing and its ok."

This is linked to my last point but I think that another thing to remember is that change is ok, it helps create those building blocks for your life. And if your struggling with change thats perfectly normal and im sure we all do from time to time stay strong everyone!

now this is turning into an essay an i have so much more i can write but ill leave it at that for now. What i am going to do tho is put some quotes that i quite like about change at the bottom of this comment and again no one is alone with this. If you are struggling then please reach out because its normal and reaching out may even make you realise how others struggle with this too.

Always here if anyone needs me and even if you just want a chat my PMs are there and if not im always floating around here and will try help and support the best i can. Anyways im just a dino 🤪😂





EDIT:no kidding this took me like an hour to write😂i thought about it so much

AislingDM

I'd defo start with the change that feels the least daunting, but even if that proves difficult (as is often the case with change in our lives) I'd suggest something really basic that sounds silly, fake it till you make it! Sometimes change is only incorporated, as @Owl says, when they become habituated to our daily routine.

So, even if you cannot reckon with the idea of actually going through changes, you can pretend you are until it doesn't hurt so much.

Plus sometimes changes are easier to make if we are surrounded by people who can support us with the changes (for example, I found it harder not to smoke when I was going out with people who are all smokers) this does not mean you cannot be friends with people who are not on the same path as you, but rather thinking of the people around you and working out who you feel least flexible to change around. That way you can start little moments of change away from them until it gets easier (this advice does not apply to all changes obviously !!)