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Worried about my
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,428 Boards Champion
I used to go football games with my good friend then we fell out so me and my cousin had to go alone. I remember once we went, it was depressing going to the game with just me and my cousin, it was lonely without taking friends. My cousin passed his driving test a few months before, he bought an Alfa Romeo Mito so i was excited to go with him in it, also another friend was supposed to come with us but i think he went with his dad so me and my cousin had to go alone. Instead of going to the game with our friend, we had to go alone, it was lonely, our team lost the game, we had nothing to eat because we weren't in the mood, i had college the next day too and i think we just walked to my cousins car then he drove home then i think we just want to bed. I was just thinking about the past last night and a bit this morning about college and schools etc. Ive been in college for a few years now, I'm pretty much finished and im just glad about it. I was at college that i just didn't like, in general it was depressing on the nights before college like when the start of the week and I have college on a Monday. The sunday night and Monday morning was just sometimes depressing. I think September time too especially is depressing as student because the new academic year starts, its back to college or school, it gets darker earlier, it gets colder too so you can't go out as much.
It was depressing going out on the night before college too for me, like than football game I spoke about above, it was in about September or October time so it was more depressing. In spring summer time as a student I think things start to get better though because the weather is improving, its getting lighter, heading towards the end of the academic year and then I start to get a bit more happier, it is still kind of a chore getting up to go college but its like you feel better because it's getting nearer to the end of the year . It's just like now I just finishing college which I didn't like, I just want to do something I want to do instead of being forced or pressured I'm what to do because school and college you have to go by law but I've sometimes just been in college which I didn't like and my last secondary school was alright tbf but I went to college which felt like a backwards step from school. Also I went to other schools which I didn't like at all, even my last secondary school, it was OK like a good school but I just still wanted to get out, I think because I have been in school most of my life and wanted a change. Then I had college which I didn't like obviously. I just find some teachers annoying, staff in college I just didn't like including my tutor i had, they just nag you and everything. Also students in my class they seemed a bit weird.
Ive wanted to get out of college for a few months. There's people who would take the piss or like make it look so odd about being in college at older, like I was 21 and people would make it look seem so odd that I was at still college at that age. I've just been thinking now I finishing college basically I want to do something I'm happy with. I just feel like I'm not going to end up doing something I'm happy with like I might have to work in a job I don't like 9 to 5, 5 days a week or more until retirement age, I feel like sometimes the doing something I don't like is going to continue. I think it's reality to most people but a lot of people make money in self employed and are happier or have passive income they have a work/ social life balance and I just want to be like that but I say a lot about this, I just don’t feel capable of it.
It was depressing going out on the night before college too for me, like than football game I spoke about above, it was in about September or October time so it was more depressing. In spring summer time as a student I think things start to get better though because the weather is improving, its getting lighter, heading towards the end of the academic year and then I start to get a bit more happier, it is still kind of a chore getting up to go college but its like you feel better because it's getting nearer to the end of the year . It's just like now I just finishing college which I didn't like, I just want to do something I want to do instead of being forced or pressured I'm what to do because school and college you have to go by law but I've sometimes just been in college which I didn't like and my last secondary school was alright tbf but I went to college which felt like a backwards step from school. Also I went to other schools which I didn't like at all, even my last secondary school, it was OK like a good school but I just still wanted to get out, I think because I have been in school most of my life and wanted a change. Then I had college which I didn't like obviously. I just find some teachers annoying, staff in college I just didn't like including my tutor i had, they just nag you and everything. Also students in my class they seemed a bit weird.
Ive wanted to get out of college for a few months. There's people who would take the piss or like make it look so odd about being in college at older, like I was 21 and people would make it look seem so odd that I was at still college at that age. I've just been thinking now I finishing college basically I want to do something I'm happy with. I just feel like I'm not going to end up doing something I'm happy with like I might have to work in a job I don't like 9 to 5, 5 days a week or more until retirement age, I feel like sometimes the doing something I don't like is going to continue. I think it's reality to most people but a lot of people make money in self employed and are happier or have passive income they have a work/ social life balance and I just want to be like that but I say a lot about this, I just don’t feel capable of it.
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
I also understand how difficult it can be going to a college that you don’t like and feel it’s not right for you. It’s very difficult to muster up the motivation to keep going when you feel depressed come Monday morning when you have to go back to college. It also makes sense that September, and going into Autumn, your mood may drop a bit as it’s get darker and colder out so you can’t do much after college either. But it’s good that you stuck with it and you are pretty much finished with college!
In contrast, it also makes sense that you’d feel happier in springtime when the it gets lighter and the weather gets warmer, and you can spend more time with friends. And naturally, as you approach summer, you realise the end of the academic year is near and you’ll have plenty of time off in the summer holidays!
It is the law to be in education but I also understand that it can be difficult when you feel the environment isn’t right for you, even if you go to another place and find that it’s still not right for you. It makes a lot of sense that now you are finishing up, you would want to do something that you actually want to do and not something that you are pressured or feel forced to do.
No-one should make you feel bad for going to college at the age of 21. Even though many young people go to college, there’s actually no age limit for college and many older people will go there too.
I agree that doing something you think you will enjoy and get into will make you happier! Sometimes this isn’t always possible and you may find yourself doing things you don’t really want to do. But it doesn’t have to be permanent. You might start off doing something you don’t really want to do but then you may find something you want to do and you can work towards doing that. Even if you are stuck doing something you don’t want to do, many other people will be in the same boat as you and in some way that can help you to bond with people at work as they may feel like you too. Being self-employed can be a good option when you want to work to your own schedule, though it can also be a lot of work in itself. It can also be difficult in trying to get a work/life balance with other jobs, but it’s not impossible. I’m wondering why you don’t feel capable of it? Is there anyone you could talk to about this, perhaps a careers advisor or support worker or someone? They might be able to help you find work that is both meaningful and gives a work/life balance.