Wow.

Chloe234

Dont you just love it when you tell a friend you thought you could rely on that your struggling and they reply with "haha okay".

Laura_tigger82

It sounds really upsetting that you told a friend you thought you could rely on that you are struggling and they replies with "haha okay" @Chloe234 No one has the right to do or say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Would you like to talk to us more about your struggle? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us

Chloe234

Thank you @Laura_tigger82 i think i just found it difficult bc i struggle to tell people im struggling and i feel like that reply has kinda put me off even more, i feel like i dont deserve support and i just burden if i talk abt my problems

Laura_tigger82

You are welcome @Chloe234. It is the very least you deserve. I can hear that you found it difficult because you struggle to tell people you are struggling and you feel like that reply has kinda put you off even more.

You have done so well at reaching out to us and telling us what you are experiencing! We are proud of you, you have shown a lot of courage. Would you like to tell us more about why you do not feel you deserve support and like you are just a burden if you talk about your problems?

We are here for you if you would like to share more with us but you only need to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with

Chloe234

Thank you again @Laura_tigger82

i just feel like im supposed to be the strong one, the supportive one. I feel like if i told people how i felt it would be selfish and not fair on them so i really try to look strong but its hard bc im really just breaking. I lost my stepmum, my cat and, my nan in the space of 4-5 months this year and its hard bc mentally ive declined and im really not good but i bottle it up and hide it.

Laura_tigger82

You are welcome @Chloe234

It sounds really tough that despite having been through a really tough time, you think you are supposed to be the strong one, the supportive one.

It is really important to us that you are able to be yourself above all else. We care and you matter. You are doing so well at talking to us about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing.

It sounds like losing your step mum, your cat and your nan in the space of 4-5 months has meant you have declined mentally and you are not good but you bottle it up and hide it. Would you like to tell us more about what declining mentally and being not good look like for you at the moment?

Also, have you got the support you need in place for this at the moment or would you ideally have access to more support?

Some resources that might be able to support you further include:

• Child Bereavement UK
• Winston's Wish
• Cruse

Please feel free to keep us updated with how things are for you, we are all here for you

Chloe234

Thanks @Laura_tigger82

Basically declining mentally. My ed is getting worse, anxiety is worse, ive sunk into a deep lonliness, im low 24/7 and barely leave bed/the house (the only time I do is school) . I'm isolating from friends.

I have been offered therapy for my grief but I still don't know whether I should take it or not

Ed_

Hey @Chloe234 - sending hugs and support your way, sounds like a ton to be holding right now and glad that you have found a space to share some of the load, we are all here for you. On the therapy front, what are the pros and cons for you of taking up the offer? Sometimes writing up a list and talking it through can be helpful. Do feel free to share this with us if you feel comfortable. Equally, a really important part of therapy is having open discussions about what you think you need from that space and for the therapist to give you a sense of what they can help you with. It could be a really useful exploratory session with them to talk through what is making you feel unsure, as they may have some techniques that can help with that, or give you clarity on what they do that may make it clearer as to what you feel is right for you right now.

Chloe234

Thank you @Ed_

i think the cons is just possibility of my dad finding out, telling someone too much (and wording it in a bad way acccidentally) and getting too overwhelmed woth it

and then i think the pros is just having someone to talk to, gettong help and maybe improve my emotions a little/create a better understanding of them

Ed_

You may find this guide about counselling useful to look at as it goes through some of the common questions people have, it does focus on The Mix's counselling service, though it should be transferable to other services. The cons you've listed would all be good questions/discussions with a therapist. Often the first session outlines what confidentiality looks like, when they may have to tell someone about what you have said and why they would do this. At this point, you could decide whether you feel confident in what they may or may not share with your dad, and you wouldn't have shared anything specific about how you are feeling. On a side note, I wouldn't say there is ever a bad way of wording how you are feeling in a counselling session - our feelings are rarely easy to describe perfectly, and the counselling space is designed to help you work out what those feelings are and help you to process them.

I'm sure there are lots of people here who can talk a bit about their experiences of counselling if you think that would be useful?