If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Cant find any mental heath support
eh681906
Posts: 5 Confirmed not a robot
I've struggled with mental heath from areal young age, and I've only just recently started to do something about it. I've been seeing a lady in school who is there to help children with any problems 'Mental Heath'. I haven't felt like i cant fully open up to her and express how i really feel. As she's a parent of one of the students who im friends with, i feel like im not even able to bring her daughter into anything either. When ever im talking to her sometimes i feel like she's not really understanding and doesn't really do much to help.
As i go to a boarding school Monday-Friday, we have these 5min check-ins with the house parents, which usually last 30mins but still. I never feel like i can open up to them about anything either, and i usually find myself lying to all the questions i get asked. I also feel like i cant talk to my parents about anything either as they don't always take me seriously and no one actually understands how bad it is for me.
The lady at school, the house parents and my parents only barely know half of what's going on. I haven't felt like i can talk to them about anything else as I'm worried about them going "But your thin and your weight is normal".
At the start of the year i rang Child Line at around 2am as i was suffering with my Anxiety and i really needed to talk to someone. once ide started explaining, they started talking about why i was up that late and if i had any sleep problems etc and then when they started to ask for my full name i felt really awkward and hung up. Ever since ive felt like i cant call them if i needed and i feel that i actually have no one i can talk to.
As i go to a boarding school Monday-Friday, we have these 5min check-ins with the house parents, which usually last 30mins but still. I never feel like i can open up to them about anything either, and i usually find myself lying to all the questions i get asked. I also feel like i cant talk to my parents about anything either as they don't always take me seriously and no one actually understands how bad it is for me.
The lady at school, the house parents and my parents only barely know half of what's going on. I haven't felt like i can talk to them about anything else as I'm worried about them going "But your thin and your weight is normal".
At the start of the year i rang Child Line at around 2am as i was suffering with my Anxiety and i really needed to talk to someone. once ide started explaining, they started talking about why i was up that late and if i had any sleep problems etc and then when they started to ask for my full name i felt really awkward and hung up. Ever since ive felt like i cant call them if i needed and i feel that i actually have no one i can talk to.
3
Comments
We hear that you are struggling with your mental health, weight and anxiety and finding it bad. It sounds like you mostly want someone to take you seriously, understand you and believe you.
We do and we are here with you. Would you like to tell us a little more about what you are experiencing? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us
Thank you for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling with your mental health at such a young age. You're doing a great job trying your best to get the support and help that you need despite facing a lot of obstacles. May I ask, what usually happens when you see your house parents and the lady in school? I'm aware of how daunting it can be to open up to people, it can take a lot of time for us to get comfortable with someone.
I'm sorry about your experience with Childline. However, please keep in mind that they could be asking those questions for your safety - this could help them understand your situation better. It may help to try out writing down your thoughts and feelings so that you could understand them better. Alternatively, you can also write down what you want to say before you call so that you feel a bit more comfortable talking to them about what you need. It could help to try the Samaritans service - you can call them for free on 116 123 or send them an email on jo@samaritans.org. Texting SHOUT to 85258 may also help if you're comfortable with texting.
Since you mentioned that you feel like you can't talk to your parents about this, do you have any trusted friends who you can talk to? It's difficult to keep this all bottled in, so you may feel better talking about your feelings. I'm aware that it may feel like there's no one who understands you at all, but you are not alone in feeling this way. We are here to listen to you
If none of these options work out for you, it may feel difficult and disheartening to continue reaching out. Please remember that you're doing so well, and you will find the right support for you eventually
With the lady at school, i see her fairly often, and i email her quite a lot every morning to say something like for example 'Morning .., I'm feeling really anxious about English this morning and history 3rd'. Sometimes i go to her room at lunch to talk to her, but i struggle talking to people in person as ide say some stuff, leave, then remember there was a lot more things i needed to say and by times i see her next i usually forget. She also keeps a folder of stuff for me but usually she just listens and try's to help but i still find it really awkward. Onto of all of this, the past 7weeks I've really been struggling as she hasn't been in school at all and wont be until after the summer holidays so im having to talk to my history teacher about some stuff which isnt brilliant, but i have to work with her to figure out this restorative thing as something happened with a girl i used to be friends with.
Sorry this is a lot of writing.
Thank you so much for suggesting the samaritans, i might try that one out shortly
I think Samaritans is a great idea because their key premise is that they do not contact emergency services or anyone else to 'report' any concerns that they have, which can make it a bit more reassuring. Sometimes all we need is the space to open up without fear of the people who are close to us finding out. For example, as you mentioned the person at school who is there to support also has a daughter there, this can make being vulnerable feel very daunting because you cannot be 100% sure that you can trust her, I think this is beyond sensible.
I reckon it's also difficult to express the extent of your emotions and difficulties when a lot of the questions are framed around schooling because, whilst school can of course cause immense distress, it often means you can't explore issues that feel further away from that, like you mentioned struggles about weight and appearance.
Your writing has been really helpful in getting us to better understand what is going on at the moment! It sounds like all you really want is legitimate support where you feel heard and not undermined. I think it can be really easy for people to underestimate the depth of another person's pain and we certainly want you to gain the support you deserve before anything progresses into a worse place.
I know this probably sounds like an obvious question, but do you have any links to a GP/doctor's surgery? xx
There is a doctors were I live yes but why would I need links to a doctors surgery?
Though, I am hearing that you feel Samaritans couldn't really do much to help and just asked questions, which could be frustrating. In an ideal world, what would support look like for you at the moment?
I suppose a doctor's surgery is just another potential source of support. For example, you could talk to them and they could offer you support directly or signpost you to other sources that might help.
Please feel free to keep us updated with how things are for you, we are all here for you
And about the doctors/GP, it can be another useful source since the support in your boarding school sounds ineffective for you. Like @Laura_tigger82 said, they're able to direct you to other services that could potentially help you. And they can give you medication for your anxiety if you don't have any medication already ^^
Kai
@Laura_tigger82 has perfectly explained why I mentioned the doctor's, it's merely because they might be able to provide access to support that is the most effective for you, to actually target the big problems in your life right now.
I am wondering is there anything that helps to calm the thoughts and distress even in the short term? huge hugs as always xx
Before i whent out today on a ride, i just got very stressed out and quite a bit upset to be honest. I came downstairs and as we have to say where were going when we go out (as we have to sign out before we leave), i came down and said "Im going swimming with Harvey ill be back later" - i was meeting a friend and i was 100% going to sit on him and go in the sea not like im swimming myself - then i could hear one of the house parents who were going to call Marcus, came thomping down from the living room, acme round the corner looked me head in the eyes and he looked pissed and quite like shocked kinda thing. I kid you not, he sounds hella mad/grumpy and he had such a bad tone to his voice like he was shouting and he goes "you are nott going swimming on Harvey". At that moment i just whent into a panic as i find it hard when im shouted at its quite hard to explain. He then goes on i cant remember exactly the situation but he said im not even allowed to go swimming on Harvey with 2 of the ladys, one who owns him fully and the other whos my riding instructor. I just at that time though like 'what the fuck there proper horsey people and they know what he was doing' he said about if something happened and he was asked for a lisence (dont even know why he would need one) that he could be sent to jail. Through out all of this he had a dead serious face and it just added the stress as he was being quite shouty and informative. For starters its not like i was even going on my own. -- Later on i foudn out from dad that if anything were to happen, its under him and my mum as i quote "she knows we have accepted all liability for your horse riding" - what dad said to me when i was messaging him.
To make the situation even "better" oneof the helpers came out and says "you shouldnt realy be riding in this weather." For starters yes its hot but it got cloudier and colder realy quick as its the evening ive ridden him in hotter weather. She then proceeds to say something like "well you dont know what its like for the horse" (this lady doesnt even know Harvey. Ive loned him for a year this august, and i know everything. I even message the lady i loan him from when im going out and surely she would tell me if i cant because its too hot) she also goes on about how the roads would be hot and its "not good for the horses" which aka is also why i intended on taking him down for a swim.
But yeh i cant remember most of what happened but i remember getting back and the the other house parent who were going to call Daisy, comes up the stairs after me, asks if im ok, ad then says if i have anything to cover my arms with while i ride as i ride in like bra strap tops. Like ive been riding in that type of cloths for ages now and she only just mentions it, and after what happened earlier. Im fed up and i just feel like i want to go home tbh
I'd also like to highlight what others have said in this thread to find other avenues of support that might help you, especially since it seems like you've had trouble getting the support you need in the past. Of course it can be scary talking to a doctor about these things so try not to push yourself too hard, even just talking about your issues here on the boards is a huge step and takes a lot of courage.
I think it's so difficult being in a boarding school environment, because the people who are there to look after you can be more cautious than parents are, because they are so aware of how liable they are if anything bad happens. Whilst I appreciate where Marcus was coming from with his concern for your safety, it feels as though he definitely could have gone about this in a different, less scary way, right? Plus, it must be said, that the liability upon him is not your responsibility and you should not be limited from doing activities that bring your peace and an ability to cope because of this.
Now that the weather has cooled down a tad, have you felt more able to ride Harvey and take in the cooler breeze? I'm hoping that you won't continue to be limited in this way, as it is clear that being with him makes you feel significantly more relaxed. I'm curious, have you felt able to tell the house parents about how important Harvey is to your happiness and mental health? xx
Ive also got prints of him off an app which i will put on my wall at the boarding house when im back after the holidays so then i can also still see him and my favourite images of him which i know will help a bit while being at the boarding house.
Yes i do believe Marcus could have gone about it in way much of a less scary way, he didnt need to pull a mad face and get all shouty specialy as ide done absolutely nothing i only said about it. He could have very easily said my name at a normal tone to stop me have walking out, then calmly walked over to say it nicely. I dont know if he even intended to make me feel a bit scared but he did go all laughter about it towards the end. Hes got the most weirdest way to talking to us hes constantly changing.
I havent felt able to tell the house parents how important Harvey is to me, as i know they would try bounce something at me "whats going on" "well you always look quite happy" (i have to fake alot - smiles, laughing, puting on a fine tone of voice) its so awkward to talk to them about anything and i rly dont trust them. Its not like talking to your parents were it stays just between u and ur parents, they always logg it down some were one way or another (teachers would be able to see it wouldnt make me feel very comfortable)