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Advice about Parents

Millicento_Millicento_ OxfordshirePosts: 26 Boards Initiate
So my parents have been together from as long as I’ve been alive and they have now decided to split up. Now I struggle hugely with anxiety, and right now I’m a bit shooken up rather than upset. I’m trying to be as I usually am, and annoying I’m still waiting for someone from the adult mental health team to contact me.
My brothers both can understand more than me having both been in their own long term relationship to breaking up before.
Shamefully I haven’t got that far yet in life. Embarrassed by that itself.
But I don’t really know what to do. They clearly don’t want to be under the same roof as each other so the atmosphere is awkward.
Any advice anyone could offer that would be great! I only have my cousin to talk to and her parents are still together and she’s married too, so that feels weird for me.
Help?
DandelionlovemimoonkaiiAzziman

Comments

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 2,909 Boards Guru
    edited May 22
    You have done so well in reaching out to us today @Millicento_. Well done and thank you for sharing this with us.

    I can hear how your parents decided to split up after having been together for as long as you have been alive is currently making you feel shooken up rather than upset. Not least you because you also struggle hugely with anxiety but also that it's a difficult situation to be in.

    It also sounds like you are frustrated that you are still waiting for someone from the adult mental health team to contact you. However, what is helping you at the moment is having brothers who can understand and a cousin you can talk to.

    When you say you are trying to be as you usually are, I was wondering if you would like to tell us more about what this looks like for you and how you might be able to be as you usually are?

    I am hearing that you feel embarrassed about not finding anyone you have been in a long term relationship with yet. I would just like to reassure you that this is ok and you will reach this stage when the time is right for you. However, you are still achieving such great things.

    In terms of advice, I am sure our wonderful community members will have some they can provide you with! In the meantime, I am wondering if you would like to tell us more about the things which usually help you when you are feeling shooken up? You might also hopefully find these resources helpful:

    Please keep us in the loop with how you are feeling and how things are going for you. We are all here for you :)

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    Millicento_
  • Millicento_Millicento_ OxfordshirePosts: 26 Boards Initiate
    @Laura_tigger82 thank you. When I say like I usually am is that I don’t want to show or come across different as though nothing had actually changed. Even though everyone does change all the time, I’m just more aware of my behaviour and don’t want any changes or I’m afraid I’ll be asked what’s wrong…I’ll tell if it’s the right person to do so, just rather act as though all is still the same with me.
    If that makes any sense to you at all 🤷🏻‍♀️
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 1,102 Wise Owl
    Hey @Millicento_ I can imagine how tough this is for you, I’m so sorry to hear it. The Mix have a brill article on this which you may be able to relate to https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/family-life/dealing-with-divorce-3295.html

    It’s great to hear you have your cousin to talk to and that your brothers understand separation too - perhaps, although you feel they may not understand how you feel, they could help with some perspective based on their own experiences? I do find talking helpful, it doesn’t matter too much if they have not experienced or felt exactly the same.

    Did you hear back from the adult MH team yet?

    Sending you big hugs 💜
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Millicento_Millicento_ OxfordshirePosts: 26 Boards Initiate
    @Lucy307 hello, I will definitely have a read. I rang the AMHT and they said for me to get back in touch with Talking Space who then has suggested I work with Autism Support which I understand but I’m a bit unsure. I did bring up the new situation she seemed to look past it quite quickly…so I’m probably going to be back on a different waiting list, yet again😒
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