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Self Worth in a relationship

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
in Sex & Relationships
Hello everyone, I hope you are well!

I wanted to create this thread to ensure everyone is getting what they deserve from a relationship. For a bit of insight, in the past I have been in relationships where I have been degraded, not listened to and felt ashamed for having an opinion on situations. I struggled to leave because I felt bad and I thought I was 'in love'.

I just want to use this board for anyone that might be currently facing something similar, for others to share more about their issues regarding this situation. Feel free to share your stories if you have faced anything like this or if you are currently facing these issues, hopefully me or someone else can assist you through them!
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Comments

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,299 Part of The Furniture
    Hello @lucas1_g. I am well thank you. How are you today?

    Thanks for starting this thread and sharing this with us, it shows a lot of strength. No one has the right to do or say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

    I hear you say you have previously been in relationships where you have been degraded, not listened to and you felt ashamed for having an opinion on situations. Would you like to tell us more about how you are managing these things at the moment?

    Also, it sounds like you struggled to leave because you felt bad and you thought you were ‘in love’. Can we ask if you have now been able to leave and feel safe and if so how you gained the strength to leave and feel better about it?

    Please feel free to keep us in the loop. We are all here for you :)
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    lucas1_g wrote: »
    Hello everyone, I hope you are well!

    I wanted to create this thread to ensure everyone is getting what they deserve from a relationship. For a bit of insight, in the past I have been in relationships where I have been degraded, not listened to and felt ashamed for having an opinion on situations. I struggled to leave because I felt bad and I thought I was 'in love'.

    I just want to use this board for anyone that might be currently facing something similar, for others to share more about their issues regarding this situation. Feel free to share your stories if you have faced anything like this or if you are currently facing these issues, hopefully me or someone else can assist you through them!

    Hey!

    I hear you, this is a lovely thought thank you so much for making this, its amazing you are amazing too!♡

    I am sorry to hear in the past you've felt like you don't matter, you didn't deserve that I am sorry to hear you've had an awful experience, I hear you elt like your as in love but felt like it was hard to leave, how are things now?

    Sending you my love,

    Leila x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    Hello both of you. Thank you for responding. Yes I did get out of them previous relationships, but I have been in a committed relationship for a long while now. But he also has tendencies to do the same thing to me. For example the other night I made a normal human mistake and spilt a glass on our living room floor and he got all angry at me for doing it. I just felt very annoyed at the situation. He also tends to use terms like ‘spastic’ ‘your so thick’. Ect. He says it is all a joke and he doesn’t mean it but it does hurt a bit when it’s all the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    lucas1_g wrote: »
    Hello both of you. Thank you for responding. Yes I did get out of them previous relationships, but I have been in a committed relationship for a long while now. But he also has tendencies to do the same thing to me. For example the other night I made a normal human mistake and spilt a glass on our living room floor and he got all angry at me for doing it. I just felt very annoyed at the situation. He also tends to use terms like ‘spastic’ ‘your so thick’. Ect. He says it is all a joke and he doesn’t mean it but it does hurt a bit when it’s all the time.

    Hey Lucas,

    That sounds not nice, how long has he been treating you like this? You don't deserve to be treated or spoke to in such a horrible way, I am very sorry.

    Making mistakes is a normal thing, and he should of not got angry at you, okay it was on the living room floor but we all make mistakes? Like, there's no need to treat someone differently.

    These words he calls you, have you spoken to him about these? Like, I know you mentioned he jokes about it but actually it could really affect you, so I was wondering.

    Thanks for keeping us posted, much love from me!

    Me and @Laura_tigger82 and everyone else are here for you!
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,299 Part of The Furniture
    Hello @lucas1_g. Responding is the very least you deserve. Thank you for responding to us as well.

    It sounds really difficult that despite being in a committed relationship for a long while now, he has tendencies to do the same things to you.

    No one has the right to do or say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Have you been able to talk to anyone else about this?

    Your well-being, health and safety mean a lot to us. Can we ask if you feel safe in your relationship? We hear that it hurts when he does these things, especially when it's all the time.

    Please feel free to keep us in the loop, we are all here for you :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    Yeah, I do feel safe in the relationship. Nothing physical as ever occurred. It’s just verbal, I have made it known that I do not like the way he talks to me but he always just responds with ‘I’m joking stop taking it so seriously’ which then makes me feel like I shouldn’t be feeling this way. By all means I can take a joke but when it is constantly about my intelligence ect it’s not very nice.
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