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Age for adulthood

Sholay09Sholay09 NoobBirmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
edited May 24 in Politics & Debate
Hello everyone I am 24 years old and I needed to find out what should the age for adulthood be in this country and all other countries should it remain at age 18 or should it be raised or lowered from age 18 as I think that the age for adulthood should be lowered to age 16 or even 14 or 13 in this country and all other countries across the world sorry to have to say but I just do not like to see and hear teenagers be treated like children in this country and in all other countries I know the laws are there to protect us all in which I know and understand but I and some other people still think that the age for being an adult should be lowered from age 18 in all countries including this country in all over the world?
Post edited by Mike on

Comments

  • DandelionDandelion Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    I think it should remain at 18, 18 is the age most people have finished school and are moving out and being more independent. I personally think that people 13-14 are still children, they’re are still at school and are not old enough to be treated as adults I think that would put far to much pressure on them as they are still learning and growing. Is there a reason you think the age of adulthood should be lowered?
    The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction. 
    independent_
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Dandelion wrote: »
    I think it should remain at 18, 18 is the age most people have finished school and are moving out and being more independent. I personally think that people 13-14 are still children, they’re are still at school and are not old enough to be treated as adults I think that would put far to much pressure on them as they are still learning and growing. Is there a reason you think the age of adulthood should be lowered?

    Yes there is a reason why I would like for the age for adulthood to be lowered from age 18 the reason why I would like for the age for adulthood to be lowered in this country and all other countries across the world because teenagers aged 13-20 years of age are not children anymore and should not be banned from getting married and other adult things including having sex which is an example of one of them. People aged 13 and 14 years of age are already old enough to be treated as adults like they were before back in the olden days and years before the 20th century.
  • DandelionDandelion Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    Just curious if you believe that people as young as age 13 should be able to have sex with people of whatever age legally do you believe that it would be okay for it to be common for people of age 13 to be pregnant and have children?
    The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction. 
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Dandelion wrote: »
    Just curious if you believe that people as young as age 13 should be able to have sex with people of whatever age legally do you believe that it would be okay for it to be common for people of age 13 to be pregnant and have children?

    Ur yes I think that 13 years olds should be able to have an intimate relationship with someone else regardless of age and have children sorry to have to say this I don't want you to hate me or say anything bad about what I have said to you today please because it is not like I want the age for being an adult to be lowered to age 5 or 4 now that would be even more worse if the age for adulthood was lowered to age 5 or 4 years old.
  • DandelionDandelion Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    I think it’s an interesting discussion for debate. I’d be interested to hear if anyone else had any other points of view
    The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction. 
    Sholay09
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Dandelion wrote: »
    I think it’s an interesting discussion for debate. I’d be interested to hear if anyone else had any other points of view

    Thank you for your replies I really appreciate it and also thank you for not hating me for what I have said to you today.
  • DandelionDandelion Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    No worries it’s all a part of debate isn’t it people aren’t going to agree on everything and I think it’s important to listen to other peoples point of view
    The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction. 
    Sholay09
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 985 Part of The Mix Family
    I suppose 18 is arbitrary in some sense, in terms of the fact that nothing particularly drastic happens on the night of your 18th birthday that turns you into an adult magically. Plus lots of adults reference how they still feel like kids, I myself am 23 and don't feel majorly grown up @Sholay09 !

    Despite this, i reckon there are some benefits to retaining the 18 = adult rule, for example, teenagers who commit crimes may get more lenient sentences which could allow them to grow and make up for their mistakes, rather than being locked away. Moreover, if a person was an adult at 16, that would mean 16 year olds being pushed out of foster care and other care situations. That's not to say that I don't think we would benefit from allowing 16 year olds to vote for example, or the fact that 16 year olds can work is helpful in allowing young people to develop an understanding of finances (at least it did for me at 16).

    Regardless of these types of situations, I think it's important that we consider how distinct sex is from these other types of 'rights'. For example, a 13 year old and an 18 year old's conception of what sex is, what it means and how it makes them feel (both physically and emotionally) is vastly different. For many 13 year olds, they are only beginning to explore their sexuality, whilst 18 year olds are more likely to have explored a little bit (whether that's by themselves or with others). Given this, if any adult of any age were 'allowed' to 'have sex' with a 13 year old, the interaction would not be equal, there would be a big power imbalance. I know this topic is really contentious and I'd certainly welcome hearing from lots of different people on this. However, I consider the testimonies of now-adults who were in intimate relationships as teenagers with adults, and I see that now with adult eyes they feel much sadness for how their younger selves were treated.

    I appreciate this conversation being explored x
    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

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    Sholay09
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 1,127 Wise Owl
    Sholay09 wrote: »
    Ur yes I think that 13 years olds should be able to have an intimate relationship with someone else regardless of age and have children sorry to have to say this I don't want you to hate me or say anything bad about what I have said to you today please because it is not like I want the age for being an adult to be lowered to age 5 or 4 now that would be even more worse if the age for adulthood was lowered to age 5 or 4 years old.


    Sorry but I completely disagree with this POV, I remember being 14 and am very glad the law said I wasn’t an adult as I had someone over 18 propositioning me - the law helped me know it was wrong. Looking back, I certainly wasn’t an adult at that time and didn’t have the same ability I do now to consent and make rational decisions. I could have easily been taken advantage of otherwise.

    I’m curious though about your point of view and would like to understand the reason 13 is the age you believe a child becomes an adult? Is that for everything - do you believe 13 year olds should live independently, pay bills and tax, work, etc too? Or just a sexual thing?

    For anything sexual, my personal belief is that 16 is fair and right because you can make more rational decisions, but if there’s an imbalance of age then again it feels like a power imbalance too (again speaking with personal experience).

    Interested in everyone else’s POV too
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    AislingDM
  • MikeMike Community Manager Posts: 4,098 Community Veteran
    edited May 24
    Interesting thread - it's always good to unpack these things a bit and understand why the age of consent is where it is, and why we mark off these points in our lives. 🙂

    I agree that becoming an adult when you turn 18 is a bit random. I know when I turned 18, as @AislingDM said, nothing really changed. I'm 26 now and I think I'm only just starting to feel like a competent adult (whatever that even means!), so it's definitely up for debate.

    I do want to address the point about people aged 13 having sex and children. Keep in mind that these are extremely formative years, and at that age, it's incredibly easy for people to manipulate and have a lot of power of us, purely by being older. While you could reasonably make the argument that some age restrictions in the UK seem arbitrary or might not be in the right place, sexual consent law exists to protect children from abuse - and for good reason.

    @Lucy307, @AislingDM and @Dandelion touched on some of this stuff already but wanted to weigh in to highlight that this perspective is strongly reinforced by evidence - research tells us that our brains continue developing until we're around 25 years old, and we're going through a huge amount of social and relational development in our early teens. That means we don't have the awareness or experience to navigate intimate relationships (let alone abusive ones), so it seems pretty clear that younger folks under a certain age should have legal protection.
    Lucy307 wrote: »
    I’m curious though about your point of view and would like to understand the reason 13 is the age you believe a child becomes an adult? Is that for everything - do you believe 13 year olds should live independently, pay bills and tax, work, etc too? Or just a sexual thing?
    I'm interested in this too. 🙂

    Also just a sidenote @Sholay09 that I moved this to Politics & Debate. 👍
    Taking a break 🌈
    Lucy307
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Lucy307 wrote: »
    Sholay09 wrote: »
    Ur yes I think that 13 years olds should be able to have an intimate relationship with someone else regardless of age and have children sorry to have to say this I don't want you to hate me or say anything bad about what I have said to you today please because it is not like I want the age for being an adult to be lowered to age 5 or 4 now that would be even more worse if the age for adulthood was lowered to age 5 or 4 years old.


    Sorry but I completely disagree with this POV, I remember being 14 and am very glad the law said I wasn’t an adult as I had someone over 18 propositioning me - the law helped me know it was wrong. Looking back, I certainly wasn’t an adult at that time and didn’t have the same ability I do now to consent and make rational decisions. I could have easily been taken advantage of otherwise.

    I’m curious though about your point of view and would like to understand the reason 13 is the age you believe a child becomes an adult? Is that for everything - do you believe 13 year olds should live independently, pay bills and tax, work, etc too? Or just a sexual thing?

    For anything sexual, my personal belief is that 16 is fair and right because you can make more rational decisions, but if there’s an imbalance of age then again it feels like a power imbalance too (again speaking with personal experience).

    Interested in everyone else’s POV too

    The reason why I said that the age for adulthood should be lowered to age 14 or 13 years old because 13 is the age people become teenagers all teenagers no matter how old they are should all be treated the same and as adults.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 1,127 Wise Owl
    Why should teenagers be treated like adults though @Sholay09 ? Do you think there is exactly the same mental capacity and ability to make decisions? Is it personal experience for you or something else?

    And do you think teenagers should live independently, move out of parents houses, get jobs and pay own bills etc at age 13?

    I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’m asking because you seem to have a very strong view on this - and I’d love to understand what this view is based on (if you still want others’ opinions)
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Lucy307 wrote: »
    Why should teenagers be treated like adults though @Sholay09 ? Do you think there is exactly the same mental capacity and ability to make decisions? Is it personal experience for you or something else?

    And do you think teenagers should live independently, move out of parents houses, get jobs and pay own bills etc at age 13?

    I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’m asking because you seem to have a very strong view on this - and I’d love to understand what this view is based on (if you still want others’ opinions)

    Yes I think 13 year olds should be allowed to pay bills, get a job, move out and do many or all of other adult things/responsibilities the reason why all teenagers aged from 13-20 should be treated as/like adults because they are way old enough to make their own decisions and because they are not children anymore, also they do have the mental capability to make their own choices in their lives.
  • OwlOwl Posts: 109 The Mix Convert
    This is an interesting conversation and it's lovely seeing a diversity of views!!

    Personally, I think being teenagers can already have enough pressure from responsibilities on them as it is - with school, friends, parents, social media etc. or that looming existential crisis, climate change or whachamacallit

    Children and teenagers who take on adult responsibilities already, because they care, or they're abused or neglected, they became a parent at a young age, and other kinds of circumstances life throws at them - they go through a lot of suffering, and have to work harder than someone else might to have a fulfilling life. Do you think there's a way to have hundreds of thousands of teenagers in the UK take on adult responsibilities safely?
    • How would a 13 year old get a job if they haven't completed their education? Would you make school hours longer so the age you finish school is younger?
    • And if a 13 year old could get a job, are there enough jobs in the country for all the teengers?
    • How would they get to work, can they drive?
    • If a 13 year old could own (or let's be real, rent haha) a home, are there enough homes in the country for all the teenagers?
    • How could the hundreds of thousands of teenagers in employment be safeguarded from abuse from the adults they work for and work with?

    It's an interesting concept but there's lots of problems I can see with it! With freedoms there come responsibilities too, and the responsibilities aren't necessarily a good thing!

    Can you see a compromise where teenagers could have more freedom, but be safe from responsibilities they can't handle? e.g. a lower voting age etc.
    Sholay09
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,269 Skive's The Limit
    I have a 14 year old step son. There is absolutey no way he should be considered an adult.

    Many 13 year olds haven't even devoped in adults physcially, let alone mentally. They don't need that responsibility that comes with being a legally an adult.
    Weekender Offender 
    Lucy307
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 7,913 Legendary Poster
    I feel like you've posted this a few times before and I still have the same opinion I had back then.

    As @Owl said teens already have so many pressures, like school and friends, they really don’t need any extra responsibility put on their shoulders.

    I think we all want more freedom as teenagers, but now as an adult I see that not all freedom is a good thing, with that freedom comes responsibility an a need to understand fully the decisions you are making (good or bad).

    I do agree that some of the ages (voting, etc) should be lowered, and I don’t think any of them should be raised, but 18 seems like a fair compromise on actually becoming an adult. By that age I cared less about what other people thought and didn’t give in to peer pressure, and felt more ready to have a bit more responsibility in my life (whatever that means).
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    Sholay09
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Skive wrote: »
    I have a 14 year old step son. There is absolutey no way he should be considered an adult.

    Many 13 year olds haven't even devoped in adults physcially, let alone mentally. They don't need that responsibility that comes with being a legally an adult.

    Why do you say that there is no way that your stepson should be considered an adult when he is way old enough to be considered an adult now as it is not like he is 4 years old?
  • OwlOwl Posts: 109 The Mix Convert
    teens think more with their amygdala which is like a really emotion part of your brain that watches netflix crying while eating ice cream. teens don't think with their prefrontal cortex (which hasn't developed yet and isn't til about 25, which explains a lot about me LOL) which is a part of the brain that makes to-do lists and excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint presentations WITHOUT the fancy transitions

    tl:dr teen brain is
    najbbw5kngmu.jpeg
  • OwlOwl Posts: 109 The Mix Convert
    @Sholay09 your perspective is totally valid though!! is there a reason or something that's happened (if you wanna talk about it, of couse!!) you believe teenagers are capable of adult responsibilities??
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Owl wrote: »
    teens think more with their amygdala which is like a really emotion part of your brain that watches netflix crying while eating ice cream. teens don't think with their prefrontal cortex (which hasn't developed yet and isn't til about 25, which explains a lot about me LOL) which is a part of the brain that makes to-do lists and excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint presentations WITHOUT the fancy transitions

    tl:dr teen brain is
    najbbw5kngmu.jpeg

    All parts of the human brain is fully developed way before the age of 25 the people who have said that the prefrontal cortex of the human brain is not fully developed until the age of 25 are not telling the truth as otherwise the government would have raised everything to age 25 years old by now and that people would not still be starting puberty and develop into adults very early in age and in their lives.
  • OwlOwl Posts: 109 The Mix Convert
    technically, the brain is "plastic" they like to say (it mans it changes, like how plastic surgery changes your bank balance, and also your face) for your whole life, so it's always developing. but the more rapid development of the prefrontal cortex that occurs in adolescence usually calms down a bit by about 25. but of course not everyone is the same and we're different!!

    what you say about the government not having age limits at 25 is certainly true. but i think the usual age limits of 16, 18, 21 etc. strike a balance between protecting growing brains from responsibilities they're not ready for, and giving people enough freedom to do what they want.

    I understand as well your distrust of the government and their relationship with science, believe me 🤣 but I do trust in the scientific method and academics and doctors who follow where the evidence that's available at the present takes them
  • OwlOwl Posts: 109 The Mix Convert
    sorry for any typos, i got up really early to watch obi wan and couldn't get back to sleep 🤣
    Sholay09
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,269 Skive's The Limit
    Sholay09 wrote: »
    Skive wrote: »
    I have a 14 year old step son. There is absolutey no way he should be considered an adult.

    Many 13 year olds haven't even devoped in adults physcially, let alone mentally. They don't need that responsibility that comes with being a legally an adult.

    Why do you say that there is no way that your stepson should be considered an adult when he is way old enough to be considered an adult now as it is not like he is 4 years old?

    Being an adult comes with a whole bunch of responsibilies that he clearly isn't ready for yet.
    He's not responsbile enough to:
    1. drive a car
    2. have sex
    3. get married
    4. become a parent
    5. go to war
    6. etc etc etc

    He's not an adult physically nor mentally, and some of his peers are even less developed.

    And there's another side to this argument- we shouldn't be encouraging kids to become responsible too fast. For most people, their child hood is a carefree time of their life when they aren't under many of the pressures that come with being an adult. I'd like to see kids be kids for as long as possible.
    Weekender Offender 
    Sholay09
  • OwlOwl Posts: 109 The Mix Convert
    i agree with skive. not with the experience of having kids though which is a lot harder and different, but with having younger neices and nephews i think it's very important to have a childhood where they can learn through play by making low-risk mistakes. whereas learning by making mistakes with bills or mortgages and careers or service in the armed forces can ruin a life
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Skive wrote: »
    Sholay09 wrote: »
    Skive wrote: »
    I have a 14 year old step son. There is absolutey no way he should be considered an adult.

    Many 13 year olds haven't even devoped in adults physcially, let alone mentally. They don't need that responsibility that comes with being a legally an adult.

    Why do you say that there is no way that your stepson should be considered an adult when he is way old enough to be considered an adult now as it is not like he is 4 years old?

    Being an adult comes with a whole bunch of responsibilies that he clearly isn't ready for yet.
    He's not responsbile enough to:
    1. drive a car
    2. have sex
    3. get married
    4. become a parent
    5. go to war
    6. etc etc etc

    He's not an adult physically nor mentally, and some of his peers are even less developed.

    And there's another side to this argument- we shouldn't be encouraging kids to become responsible too fast. For most people, their child hood is a carefree time of their life when they aren't under many of the pressures that come with being an adult. I'd like to see kids be kids for as long as possible.

    I do agree with all or most of the things you are saying Skive. That is good you have said that you would like to see kids be kids for as long as possible as being an adult is quite difficult I do have to agree with you when you have said that you would like to see kids be kids for as long as possible because kids do not stay kids forever. Still I wish the age for adulthood was lowered from age 18 with only a few responsibilities of adulthood sorry to have to say.
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 2,984 Boards Guru
    edited May 29
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions with us @Sholay09. I have found reading this thread really interesting and it seems lots of our community members have found this thread interesting too.

    I hear you when you say that being an adult is quite difficult so would like to see kids be kids for as long as possible. When you say you still wish the age for adulthood was lowered from age 18 with only a few responsibilities of adulthood, what would these few responsibilities of adulthood look like for you? I am intrigued!

    Thanks in advance for your further insights :)
    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

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    Sholay09
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 985 Part of The Mix Family
    I think it's clear that we all largely agree with the notion that 18 is an arbitrary age to define someone as an adult, as there are lots of 16 year olds who may have a keen sense of emotional maturity, and many 23 year olds who are severely lacking @Sholay09 . Despite that, this does not mean that a 13-year old and a 27-year old are comparable, not least of all in terms of physical development, but also in terms of education, life experiences and their navigation of the world. Given that, I'd like to flip your question on its head to better-understand your perspective, what do you think makes a 12-year old different from a 13-year old, why do you believe (aside from the semantics of the terminology 'teenagers') that a 13-year old would be distinct enough from a 12-year old to vote/consent to sex?

    I appreciate you coming back to everyone on this, especially given how nuanced and complex this conversation is! One thing I believe we should always prioritise, as has been said, is the protection of children and teenagers from harm and exploitation and that's why I do overarchingly agree with laws concerning consent.
    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

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  • Sholay09Sholay09 Noob Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
    AislingDM wrote: »
    I think it's clear that we all largely agree with the notion that 18 is an arbitrary age to define someone as an adult, as there are lots of 16 year olds who may have a keen sense of emotional maturity, and many 23 year olds who are severely lacking @Sholay09 . Despite that, this does not mean that a 13-year old and a 27-year old are comparable, not least of all in terms of physical development, but also in terms of education, life experiences and their navigation of the world. Given that, I'd like to flip your question on its head to better-understand your perspective, what do you think makes a 12-year old different from a 13-year old, why do you believe (aside from the semantics of the terminology 'teenagers') that a 13-year old would be distinct enough from a 12-year old to vote/consent to sex?

    I appreciate you coming back to everyone on this, especially given how nuanced and complex this conversation is! One thing I believe we should always prioritise, as has been said, is the protection of children and teenagers from harm and exploitation and that's why I do overarchingly agree with laws concerning consent.

    Well I do know that 12 year olds are not that different from 13 years olds as it is only 1 year age difference between them but 13 year olds are now teenagers and 12 year olds are not in their teens yet and I do understand and agree that everyone needs protecting from harm, death and exploitation no matter how old they are.
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 985 Part of The Mix Family
    I'm really glad to hear you feel the same about ensuring people's protection and safety @Sholay09 , especially because young people can be more vulnerable to exploitation from adults, which we would certainly want to prevent. I think it's always a difficult conversation to consider actually putting an official age on what = an adult. Which is why we see such disparity across different countries. I mean, in America the drinking age is 21, by contrast with our 18 year old limit.

    Regardless of the specifics and the legal aspect of things, we can all agree that we should try to protect children and teenagers and often it's helpful to think back to how we felt and thought when we were younger, even just a couple of years ago, to consider how a teenager might feel now. This does not mean that we should not value the opinions of young people a lot more than the world currently does, rather that we need to protect young people from people who would want to take advantage of someone's age. In terms of the idea of voting for example, even if teens do not vote they certainly have a very strong place in the political field, so brainstorming ways to get their opinions heard should definitely be a priority! xx
    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

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