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The big O

Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
in Sex & Relationships
My partner asked me (out of the blue) if I ever faked an orgasm. I was honest and I told him that on a handful of times I exaggerated getting there, if you know what I mean? But as soon as I noticed this pattern I actively made a the decision to direct him when things fell a bit flat. I did this prior to him asking but I'm actually glad that he did because its a slippery slope to head down if you're not honest about it and in the long run it could mean the difference between a fulfilling sex life and a not so great one. I was worried that It would hurt my partner's feelings but he honestly didn't care, he just wanted me to feel comfortable enough to be able to communicate when we need to change things up a bit to reignite that spark.

My advice to anyone who's finding it difficult to have fulfilling sex is to take the lead by either showing or telling significant other what you want. Or you could spark a conversation up about what things you'd both like to try during sex and from there, lead into what things work and don't work for one other.

I've been having a lot of conversations about sex with my friends and I must say, it's been so refreshing being able to openly and non judgementaly talk about these things.

Salix

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Salix_alba_2019, thank you for sharing this! It can be such a difficult topic to talk about with a partner some times but the tips you have given are really helpful and make it seem easier than we think. I'm sure this post will help people in a similar situation!
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    This is very important.

    I've become more confident over the years in actually communicating when it comes to sex, it didn't exactly come easily (no pun intended) to me. But if you never talk about it with your partner they're just guessing and that's not a good thing.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    This is such an important and refreshing thread! Thank you for sharing

    You are absolutely right, communication is super important!
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Fantastic thread and I really appreciate how openly you talk about this aspect of your sexual relationship here @Salix_alba_2019 , it's certainly not always easy for every couple to have conversations about orgasms and what sexual interactions look like without them. The fact that you were both able to be so frank with each other is honestly brilliant and I hope that we can all gain something from the example you guys are setting <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    independent_ wrote: »
    This is very important.

    I've become more confident over the years in actually communicating when it comes to sex, it didn't exactly come easily (no pun intended) to me. But if you never talk about it with your partner they're just guessing and that's not a good thing.


    Hahaha I see what you did there!

    Aww girl, I'm happy for you you because you've now opened the gate to being able to talk about sexual topics with your partner. And you're deffo right about the guessing thing, they think they're doing okay or they know somethings up and they might end up thinking that you're not into them.

    Sal
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    AislingDM wrote: »
    Fantastic thread and I really appreciate how openly you talk about this aspect of your sexual relationship here @Salix_alba_2019 , it's certainly not always easy for every couple to have conversations about orgasms and what sexual interactions look like without them. The fact that you were both able to be so frank with each other is honestly brilliant and I hope that we can all gain something from the example you guys are setting <3

    Hey thank you for your message, it made me smile. I always try to remain open enough to let people know that it is okay to talk about sex because I was really shy at first and I realised that the more conversations I had the better I felt.

    Sal
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