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last nite n blah

ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,968 Community Veteran
i had a couple of beer52, which tht festival not online anymore, and a whisky, i saw it and i gave in to temptation, i forgot it got u dizzy, headache n stuff. someone last yr used to buy whisky stealing a tenner off me to fund his habit, he used to leave me in a bad way.
i slated tht employee, told my brother i loved him coz i knew he had long covid but i told mr.c. is it possible tht u feel uneasy in one place and alright in another?
wats the effects of long covid?
can a 'therapist' delibratly play with ur feelings and leave u sad 4eva?
Crazy mad insane

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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    Hey @ellie2000,

    It sounds like you've got a lot on your mind at the moment, how are you feeling at the moment? When you say that you feel uneasy in one place, and alright in another, do you feel comfortable sharing more about what you mean by that? It sounds like you're worried about your brother having long covid at the moment, how are you feeling?

    I don't think therapists should be playing with your feelings at all, you should feel heard and supported, we're always here for you if you ever want to talk about anything, Ellie. You're doing amazingly sharing your feelings with us <3
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,968 Community Veteran
    i dont tlk to family coz a long time ago i got told not to. from the various authorities. they're gone now so i tlk to family. i think im back in 2010-2013 everyday. wat do i do? how do i get away frm tht mindset, so many ghosts where i live currently, so im holding my breath all the time. how do ppl notice the present?
    Crazy mad insane
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,968 Community Veteran
    wen i recieved wellbeing centre calls thts y im talking bout why im upset

    tell me in whole wat im saying

    i dont even understand
    Crazy mad insane
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,968 Community Veteran
    if i have a bad week, i panic all days, not knowing wen it stops
    Crazy mad insane
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    edited May 2022
    Things seem really confusing and overwhelming for you at the moment @ellie2000. Well done for having the strength to tell us more about what is going on for you at the moment. It sounds like this is something that accessing well-being support has helped you to do.

    I am hearing that you would like us to tell you what you have said in whole because you feel this might help it to make more sense to you. From what I am hearing, there are a few main things going on for you at the moment.

    The first is that you have been drinking alcohol because you saw it and gave in to temptation. You forgot it made you feel unwell, like dizzy and headaches and stuff. This reminds you of someone from last year who used to steal money from you to buy whisky.

    The second is that you didn't use to speak to your family because a long time ago you got told not to by the various authorities. The authorities have gone now so you talk to your family. How does this make you feel? I have noticed that you have recently contacted your brother to tell him you love him but you told Mr C.

    You wanted to tell your brother you love him because you knew he had long COVID and are unsure about the effects of long COVID. I can hear the effects of long COVID are something you want to know more about. The NHS has some information about long COVID that you might find helpful.

    You have also slated an employee and feel like a therapist has deliberately played with your feelings and leave you sad forever. It is understandably difficult to get away from that mindset of 2010-2013. Would you like to tell us more about how slating an employee, the therapist and 2010-2013 have made you feel and what usually helps you when you are finding things difficult?

    Please keep us up to date with how you are, we are all here for you :)
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,968 Community Veteran
    im still quiet around family. im still worried of wat their reactions are wen i tell them stuff, how do i work with tht 1 without someone to point me in the right direction in person. i still get told 'leave it u should b better' not helpful. wat do i say to tht?
    tht therapist was a freind of the leader, she was a trainee. who brought triggers n memories up. wen i had more proffessional therapy it worked 4 acouple of months, a yr or so, now i seeking more, is tht normal? the trainee therapist left wen it got too much, i was alright b4 her, she also got me ready to explode, thts y i had a go at the ppl who raped me, thts wen the police told me off afew times. i was alright this yr wen it came to the anniversery of the sexual assault. i cant wait till i move, i wanted to it for ages but the abuse made me wanna stay where i was, y? how do i cope until i move? i feel theres still bad atmosphere in my current flat. i think of self harm, wen those thought rise i just go to bed
    Crazy mad insane
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    ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,968 Community Veteran
    things r dark :(
    Crazy mad insane
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