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I’m back…
DylanJames
Posts: 35 Boards Initiate
Some of you may know me on here, some of you may not. However, I’m back. I took some time away to try and work on myself and for the small time I have been away, I really did think I was starting to get better but it seems as though I’m struggling again. My good days are ok but my bad days are really bad and there are days I feel nothing, no feelings, no hope, no purpose…
I have been through a lot this month and it could have contributed to why I’m feeling low and the fact I have stopped taking my meds, BUT before anyone starts I stopped taking them because I thought I was doing ok on my own and I really thought I was getting better but jokes on me lol.
I don’t have much social media because that never helped my mental health at all so I decided to come away from it and deactivate most of my socials, the only one I do have now is Snapchat because I thought it’s less fake than the others. I have people on there and it’s people posting of them and their friends, going out parting, days out etc.. it gets me sad because I don’t have a friend like they do, I don’t have anyone I can turn to when I’m feeling like this. I would never want to burden anyone with how I’m feeling but just now and then it would be nice to have someone who understood me and how I feel. I’m contemplating of deactivating my Snapchat too because half the people on there I don’t even talk to anymore and they don’t talk to me. I’d rather not watch them enjoy their lives while I’m struggling with mine.
Anyway… I’ll be on here for some time I feel because it never really goes, does it? Even when you feel like you’re doing ok, you’re not really, it’s just an “ok” day.
I hope you’re doing better than me
Love you all
I have been through a lot this month and it could have contributed to why I’m feeling low and the fact I have stopped taking my meds, BUT before anyone starts I stopped taking them because I thought I was doing ok on my own and I really thought I was getting better but jokes on me lol.
I don’t have much social media because that never helped my mental health at all so I decided to come away from it and deactivate most of my socials, the only one I do have now is Snapchat because I thought it’s less fake than the others. I have people on there and it’s people posting of them and their friends, going out parting, days out etc.. it gets me sad because I don’t have a friend like they do, I don’t have anyone I can turn to when I’m feeling like this. I would never want to burden anyone with how I’m feeling but just now and then it would be nice to have someone who understood me and how I feel. I’m contemplating of deactivating my Snapchat too because half the people on there I don’t even talk to anymore and they don’t talk to me. I’d rather not watch them enjoy their lives while I’m struggling with mine.
Anyway… I’ll be on here for some time I feel because it never really goes, does it? Even when you feel like you’re doing ok, you’re not really, it’s just an “ok” day.
I hope you’re doing better than me
Love you all
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Comments
Welcome back!
It sounds positive that you feel you were starting to get better when you had a small-time away. Positively, I am also hearing that you know what does and doesn't support your mental health and you have taken steps to support your mental health. For example, you have used boundaries to not have much social media to support your mental health.
It sounds like you have been finding things difficult more recently though. I firstly want to recognise how much courage you have shown in reaching out for support today. Have you been able to talk to anyone else about your bad days? I am hearing your bad days are really bad and on those days you feel nothing, no feelings, no hope and no purpose.
It seems like these bad days are associated with going through a lot this month and stopping taking your meds. Would you like to tell us more about what you have been going through this month? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us.
From what I am hearing, you sound like you are looking for friends and people to turn to when you are feeling like this. The Mix community are here for you and you may also find it useful to reach out to people you know face to face, join clubs or access support services such as Childline.
Additionally, if you ever feel in a crisis, the following support is available for you:
Sending you hugs. Please keep us up to date with how you are, we are all here for you
I don’t have many people I can talk to about how I feel, the people I do talk too about general things are all close to me like my family, my partner etc… and they don’t really get it. I don’t have any friends, I spend my time working a lot and on my days off I stay at home and play my PlayStation. This is part of the reason why I mentioned about deleting Snapchat because all the people on there are people I’ve drifted from or just people I know but I don’t class any of them as a “friend” I define a friend being someone who is there for you and you’re there for them, someone you can go out and do activities with, someone who supports you etc.. I’ve never really had that close relation with anyone sadly. I’m not a shy person either, I’m easy to get along with and talk too…. so I get told but nobody ever seems to stay long enough in my life to actually want to get to know me.
I don’t want to get into too much detail about my personal life as to what’s been going on lately and may have contributed to the way I’m feeling but long story short I’m not a very well person, I’ve not long came out of hospital and that was/can be quite isolating, my nan hasn’t long passed away due to COVID and some other things I don’t really want to share for personal reasons, I hope you understand.
I have a lot going for at the same time and I feel guilty saying I feel lonely and isolated but it can be quite overwhelming when you have a lot going on and it can seem like things are moving too quickly. I do find myself not having anyone to share the positive moments in my life other than to share them with my family and parter but sometimes I want time away form them both and to do my own thing with friends. I never really understood why I’ve not had friends, I always feel like it’s a me problem and I’m not a likeable person, I feel a lot more too but I could go on all day about not having any friends and feeling sorry for myself.