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Still Being Failed By The NHS As A Transgender Patient

MitchallMitchall Posts: 38 Boards Initiate
edited April 2022 in Health & Wellbeing
To be blunt in my whole experience as a transgender person wanting a full sex change, the NHS don't care about Transgender people needing surgery and that have spent their whole teenage-hood and all years as a young adult in their early 20s up to mid 20s in limbo, for example I am now 23 but I turn 24 in 2 months time from now, so I am now in my mid 20s and still left with no bottom surgery whatsoever, no hysterectomy, no penis, absolutely nothing, I still do not feel nowhere as close to a cis male at all, still cannot use urinals to pee, still have no sex life since I am still stuck at 0% chance of ever finding a girlfriend at all, chances are that I probably won't get my penis until I am about 30-40 years old etc

With the way the NHS is playing their plan out over how they deal with transgender people that want to complete their transition surgically, so while I am still round the age that I am now if I get any surgery at all it will just be my hysterectomy and that's if I am lucky to get that all all, according to the consultant at the hospital where I'm getting my hysterectomy done at he told me the waiting length is 4-6 months, but since he didn't add me to the list like he said he would, by the time he adds me to the list it looks like i will now be looking at probably a year or a year and a half for when they offer me a surgery date for my hysterectomy, if he put me on the list from the start then chances are I would of been offered a surgery date for my hysterectomy this year probably sometime between August-October etc, but other than St Peter's Andrology Hospital which was the hospital I was supposed to get my penis done at before they moved the surgeon team to New Victoria Hospital,

There's another NHS hospital called "Chelsea and Westminster Hospital" that has lied to me too by getting my hopes up during the consultation for absolute nothing too by saying they will put me on the waiting list when they actually haven't, just like when the admin team at St Peter's Andrology Hospital deliberately got my hopes up telling me they would of booked me in for the first stage of my phalloplasty (penis) in April 2020 if it wasn't for Covid lockdowns interfering so they said, but on top of this they also admitted to me at the same time that they were still performing on stage 1 patients throughout the whole time, but they just chose to use Covid as their excuse to deny me my surgery, I've already raised this issue to the attention of PALS and the GDSS team with all the screenshots of the evidence of them lieing to me and getting my hopes up by providing me misleading information, PALS refused to help their excuse was they cannot support transgender patients that are being failed by the NHS, the GDSS just told me to forward the screenshots over to the New Victoria Hospital, but I explained the situation to New Victoria before showing them proof, after I explained the situation to them, they told me to send them all the evidence, so I did and they did not bother to respond back at all and I have still yet to hear from them at all this year which I still haven't, but only to discover that they have been performing on more stage 1 patients throughout the whole time and the vibes I get is that either they have just shoved me to one side and forgotten about me, or have shown me the boot off the waiting list and are hiding all this from me by their reason for leaving me in the dark about everything and not responding at all to me idk 😬🤷🏻‍♂️😣😩😒😑🥲😭,

before St Peter's Andrology Hospital moved the surgeon team to New Victoria Hospital, it even took me to lengths where I had to bring the way they have treated me to the attention of this city's MP, they were really caring and did a lot to support me, she even took it to lengths on my behalf to broadcast my complaint to the government in parliament about the way St Peter's Andrology Hospital failed me throughout the whole time as a transgender patient while I was on the waiting list since May 2018 all the way up to now, Cecil and Andy tried to make out I was put on the waiting list in 2019 when it wasn't 2019 at all 🙄🤨, I was put on the waiting list in 2018 and my GIC has all this proof to back this up against Cecil's and Andy's lies 🤨, my MP also expressed on my behalf to the government how severe the lockdowns were seriously affecting transgender people still waiting for surgery that have been stuck in limbo for decades and how harmful and dangerous this has been to mental health and has caused a rise in suicidal cases in transgender people and I have already been suicidal a few times when I was a teenager, I even used to self harm 🥲😑, but when the MP wrote these letters on my behalf to the government to help me complain about how the NHS doesn't support transgender people in the way they wish to be supported such as providing them access to the surgeries that they need etc, the government luckily responded to her letter on my behalf 😲,

their response to the letter showed poor empathy and poor enthusiasm of contribute towards how serious this is towards the mental health of transgender people and were careless to consider to make plans to break the stigma towards transgender people suffering in limbo and for the NHS to broaden their services by planting transgender hospitals that will cater and specialise in just transgender services which will be completely separate from all other unrelated general healthcare and cosmetic services, where these hospitals will be focused on transgender patients only and will provide transgender people the support where they can access their surgeries within a fair and timely manner without the uneccessary backlog of all these unfair soul draining endless waiting lists that are destroying the self esteem and sanity out of the lives of transgender people that are trapped in discomfort, that just want to feel happy and natural in themselves and that want to live an enjoyable life as equal to cis people, the government has unfortunately not done anything at all to change the NHS and improve their service towards transgender people, the MP of this city has done everything she can from her end to support me with getting my point across as far as possible and I am really grateful that she took her time to support me and stick up for me, but when she spoke to St Peters Andrology on my behalf they still wasn't taking me seriously and still refused to listen they still kept slamming the lockdown excuse to deny my surgery even though they were happy to sort out all the other people out at the time that was also waiting for stage 1, even though the vast of those people have not been on the waiting list as long as I have but had a lucky exciting ride being bumped Infront of me in the queue 😒,

maybe these people were paying for the surgery themselves that could of been why 🥴, this is also proof of how the NHS has never cared about transgender patients that are not financially stable enough to fund their own surgery 😬🥲, the NHS in full has typically only ever cared about people wanting cosmetic treatments such as beauty therapy, dental and plastic surgery and are the only services they have been bothered in providing to people free of charge from the start and expect transgender people to be rich 🙄, I have lost faith all together in the NHS, if I forked out a loan from the start to use to fund my sex change myself I probably would of never ended up in all this mess in the bloody first place 😩😡, I have had enough of being stuck in soul eating limbo 😴, I feel suicidal I have had enough of waiting 😤😵‍💫, I can't cope anymore 😬, I am still not a guy and I still do not feel like one at all 😭😑, no girl will date me unless I have a penis 😳 and I am still trapped in limbo in a cupboard still waiting to get to that stage and I cannot cope with having to wait until I am 30-40 years old to have it started 😵‍💫😫, on top of that I am not even mentally solid enough at all anymore to bare with anymore years on top of now as it is 😭, I have had enough and I am now at the edge I am done with the "Be Patient" manipulation game they are playing, the system is corrupt proper 😤😤😤😤😤😵😵‍💫, if I don't get any of my surgeries any time this year then I'm going to do something stupid and I refuse to be responsible for any of my actions
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡....
Post edited by Ed_ on

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    Ed_Ed_ Moderator Posts: 1,551 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Mitchall - just a quick note to say that I edited your post just to add a few paragraphs as that may make it a bit easier for people to engage with your post. It sounds completely exhausting to be having to fight so hard to get access to the healthcare that will allow you to live your life as your true self. It takes real strength to be continuing to advocate for yourself and also allow your story to be an example that is discussed to try and create wider change when it comes to this health inequality.

    You've done really well to explore these feelings with us and to open up about the impact all of this has had on you. When you are feeling suicidal, have you found anything useful to help cope and distract yourself from these feelings? There are a number of services that can offer a listening space and can help de-escalate some of these feelings, in particular, you may want to try some of the following:
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
    Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
    Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    Childline | call 0800 11 11

    One other thing to think about, have you looked into getting a health advocate? It sounds like you are having to invest a ton of energy into chasing up and challenging the decisions being made about your care, and I get the sense that it feels like you are banging your head against a brick wall. Sometimes having someone who can be there to support you can help share the load so to speak and it may be that they know some ways of navigating the health system that could help. There is some info on the NHS site about what advocacy is and also some suggestions of organisations that can provide this type of service.

    Do keep sharing how things are feeling for you Mitchall, we are all here for you :3
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    MitchallMitchall Posts: 38 Boards Initiate
    Hi I really appreciate all your time and efforts in reaching out and I am really grateful for those services you have recommended in those links, I have been under CAHMs and Samaritans for counselling throughout my whole teenagehood, counselling never benefitted me nor helped me in away with improving my mental health so I stopped when I was 18.

    However I am not denying that it doesn't work for others as everyone is different and while counselling benefits lots of people in some way unfortunately it's never done anything for me.

    I used to have advocacy support with this already but when they helped it did not make any difference towards the situation and that advocacy said they can no longer support me and they stopped their support at the beginning of 2021.
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