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Hello

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
Hii I'm Gracey,

I'm going through some really difficult things at the moment. I have cancer and that isn't looking very good at all, spreading everywhere. And three years ago I lost my mum and that effected me then and is still making things really hard now.

But I'm trying to stay positive and happy through all these things.

I was in a band where I was singing when my voice was good. In my free time I do still sing but I don't sound great now. I also like to draw and write, do that a lot.

It's nice to meet you!

Gracey x

Comments

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,314 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2022
    Hey @Gracey,

    Welcome to The Mix's community. It is great to see you have joined us.

    Sorry to hear you are going through some really difficult things at the moment. You have shown so much strength in reaching out for support.

    Having cancer which isn't looking very good at all and spreading everywhere sounds particularly difficult. Is there anything that might help this feel manageable for you at the moment? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us.

    If you would like some further support with this, some resources you might hopefully find helpful include:
    • Macmillan - open 7 days a week, 8am - 8pm. You can call 0808 239 75 65 and chat to them online or on their online community.
    • Young Lives vs Cancer - Monday - Friday (10am - 4pm). You can chat to them on their website, view their articles, call them on 0300 330 0803 or email supporter.services@younglivesvscancer.org.uk.

    I am also hearing that losing your mum three years ago affected you when you lost your mum and is still making things really hard now. Would you like to tell us more about this? We are here with you and listening to you.

    You are being so brave in trying to stay positive and happy through all these things. Please remember it's ok not to always be positive and happy though. We are here for you.

    Thanks for sharing some information about your interests with us. It is great to get to know more about you as a person. What great fun being in a band. It sounds like you really enjoy singing, drawing and writing. Do you have a favourite type of music, thing to draw or thing to write about? As long as you can sing comfortably and enjoy it, keep up with your singing, it doesn't matter how skilled!

    Keep us updated with how you are feeling, we are all here for you :)

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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    Hello Laura, it's nice to meet you. Thank you for your lovely message, it really made me smile and feel a little brighter :smile:

    Thank you for your kindness and support I really do appreciate it. It means a lot to me. Thank you.

    The cancer sucks. I try to be positive with it but every test is negative and some days I feel so bad. I have a cancer team and nurse I can call and chat to day and night though, so it's not like I'm on my own with this. Thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate it. There's not a lot more to say, it started with my ovaries, then got to my lymph nodes and now breast. I am having treatment but it isn't working that well at the moment. But there's still more to try so hopefully it will help and get better.

    Thank you so much for the resources and links. That's very kind of you and I will definitely check them out! I think it could be really helpful for me.

    Losing mum was terrible. It was sudden and I still miss her so much every day. I talk to a nice woman about my mum a lot. It helps but I still feel lonely and sad without mum. I talk to her picture a lot and visit her grave but it's not the same like it used to be when she was alive. I'm hoping it will get easier.

    I do try to be positive and upbeat about everything but some days it isn't always easy. I do have my older sister to talk to though, she's so lovely and is always there for me. Love her to bits.

    I loved being in the band at school it was fab great fun! I like lots of different music, I especially like Taylor Swift she's my inspiration! And I love to draw lots of happy things like sunshine and unicorns! And I like to write about fairies and fantasy worlds. I'm not very good at writing but I do like it.

    Today has been a good day. I've felt pretty good.
    I hope you have had a very lovely day today :smile:

    Best wishes,
    Gracey x
  • JustVJustV Inactive Posts: 5,641 Part of The Furniture
    It's fab to meet you, @Gracey! Welcome to the community. 😊

    Really hearing that you've been on quite the roller coaster - losing a parent and then working through a cancer diagnosis is a lot. Your sister and cancer team sound like a big support to you at the moment which is reassuring to hear, and you're doing well to reach out here too.

    Grief is such a funny thing. I know for me it seems to go differently every time, but losing a parent must be a whole different kettle of fish. My partner lost her mum a few years back and I know it still affects her, and it's something she's still working through. A friend also told me once that you never really move 'past' grief; you sort of just learn to live with it.

    I also agree with Laura that sometimes it's okay not to be positive. Some things are just crappy and it can be healthy to sit with that emotion rather than fight against it.

    I'm mindful that this is an introduction thread, so just a heads up you're welcome to post in one of the support forums (Health & Wellbeing, Sex & Relationships - those ones) if you want to unpack your experiences a bit more or have more of a focused support conversation.

    Welcome again - lovely to see you posting. 😊
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    Mike wrote: »
    It's fab to meet you, @Gracey! Welcome to the community. 😊

    Really hearing that you've been on quite the roller coaster - losing a parent and then working through a cancer diagnosis is a lot. Your sister and cancer team sound like a big support to you at the moment which is reassuring to hear, and you're doing well to reach out here too.

    Grief is such a funny thing. I know for me it seems to go differently every time, but losing a parent must be a whole different kettle of fish. My partner lost her mum a few years back and I know it still affects her, and it's something she's still working through. A friend also told me once that you never really move 'past' grief; you sort of just learn to live with it.

    I also agree with Laura that sometimes it's okay not to be positive. Some things are just crappy and it can be healthy to sit with that emotion rather than fight against it.

    I'm mindful that this is an introduction thread, so just a heads up you're welcome to post in one of the support forums (Health & Wellbeing, Sex & Relationships - those ones) if you want to unpack your experiences a bit more or have more of a focused support conversation.

    Welcome again - lovely to see you posting. 😊

    Hi it's lovely to meet you to Mike ^-^
    I'm so sorry for the late reply I've not been so well the last few days. Bit more energy tonight and not to much pain so thought I'd come online.

    Your message brightened me up thank you :smile:

    I'm so lucky to have so much support right now. Do feel a bit of a burden at times but I know I couldn't do it without them x

    I'm really sorry about your partners mum. I'm not surprised it still affects her. I agree that you learn to live with grief but don't really get over it. I'm still working through it as well, miss my mum so much. I miss our mum daughter talks.

    I've been pretty negative this week. Hoping I'll feel more positive again soon. It's usually up and down.

    Thank you I'll look at posting elsewhere to.

    Thanks for your lovely message xx

    Gracey x
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,314 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2022
    Hello @Gracey. It is great to hear from you again. I am glad to hear we were able to make you smile and feel a little brighter. Kindness and support are the very least you deserve.

    I am hearing how cancer sucks. You do really well to try to be positive. The negativity is understandable though and a reflection of the difficult situation you are in rather than you as a person.

    Hope is really important but I can hear how that might be difficult to find and hold onto some days. I hope you might find the resources helpful. I can hear how terrible it was losing your mum, especially sudden. It is understandable to hear you miss her every day and feel lonely and sad without mum.

    Some things which I am hearing help you include talking to your mum's picture a lot and visiting her grave. Though, I can hear how it is not the same as it used to be when she was alive. It will get easier but it will take time and you need to take it at your own pace.

    It is really positive to hear about your support network - the cancer team and nurse, a nice woman to talk to about your mum and your older sister. Just in case you feel you want some more support with losing your mum at any point, some additional potential support includes Winston's Wish, Child Bereavement UK and Cruse.

    I agree about Taylor Swift being great! Do you have any particular favourite Taylor Swift albums or songs? Happy things to draw also sound great and I agree that sunshine and unicorns are happy things. As long as you enjoy a hobby, talent doesn't matter as much!

    Please keep us up to date with how you are feeling, we are all here for you :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 10 Settling in
    Hi @Gracey was just reading through what you posted and although I can only imagine how hard it must be sometimes, I understand that it has been very challenging but you've come so far and as someone who you don't know, I hope it means something that I'm routing for you always. Just like the rest of the mix community is!

    I hear you're a fan of Taylor Swift. Just like Laura asked you, do you have a favourite song of hers? I'd love to hear what it is. I don't listen to her much nowadays but I definitely remember this one song I really liked. I don't think it was one of her biggest. Called Welcome to New York, it just was very upbeat and had a nice vibe. Although, Love Story might be my fave, what a song!

    I think most people find comfort or just love music for whatever reason. So, sometimes when it does get negative or particularly dark I try to personally remember that there is always new music to look forward to. Lyrics you've never heard. I wish you the best with your battle with cancer, you're very strong and I have all faith in you. If you ever need anywhere to let out what's going on then feel free to post! There's always somebody who cares even if you don't know them. @Laura_tigger82 has been kind to reply to some of my posts too! Hence, I thought I'd try make a supportive comment for you @Gracey

    It is nice to hear that you've got a nice team and nurse that you can speak to in real life. I'm not sure how to give advice or anything but I can share a joke which might make you smile? Or anybody.

    Anyway, why didn't the twig work as glue? Wooden Stick... 😆 (exusue my terrible humour ahaha)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 35 Boards Initiate
    Hello @Gracey

    Welcome to the mix! Really nice to meet you :)

    I’m really sorry about the awful news! You have my full support if you ever need anyone to talk too, I’ll do my best in trying to understand.

    I hope you’re having a better day today :)

    Hopefully see you around

    Love Dylan x
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Gracey wrote: »
    Hii I'm Gracey,

    I'm going through some really difficult things at the moment. I have cancer and that isn't looking very good at all, spreading everywhere. And three years ago I lost my mum and that effected me then and is still making things really hard now.

    But I'm trying to stay positive and happy through all these things.

    I was in a band where I was singing when my voice was good. In my free time I do still sing but I don't sound great now. I also like to draw and write, do that a lot.

    It's nice to meet you!

    Gracey x

    Hey im new too
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Gracey wrote: »
    Hii I'm Gracey,

    I'm going through some really difficult things at the moment. I have cancer and that isn't looking very good at all, spreading everywhere. And three years ago I lost my mum and that effected me then and is still making things really hard now.

    But I'm trying to stay positive and happy through all these things.

    I was in a band where I was singing when my voice was good. In my free time I do still sing but I don't sound great now. I also like to draw and write, do that a lot.

    It's nice to meet you!

    Gracey x

    Hey im new too
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