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To anyone who feels like their life is a mess

jungkookjungkook Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
Hello everyone
newly joined here.Lately I've been feeling so lonely. I cant connect to my friends or family properly . I feel like whatever I do is fake or not genuine.. constantly feeling as if someone is suffocating me,even living feels hard. I don't know what I'm supposed to do and i always keep wondering how did I end up here..I feel like I'm trapped in my own life

Comments

  • daisyella12daisyella12 Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    Hi @jungkook

    I am so so sorry you are feeling this way. You have done the right thing in reaching out. If you feel comfortable, could you explain what you have done to connect that feels fake? It may be worth reaching out to a school/college/uni councillor if they are available to you. It seems like you are really struggling and could benefit from talking to someone in person about how you are feeling. Of course we are happy to listen to your thoughts and feelings here too <3
  • jungkookjungkook Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
    hi @daisyella12

    Thank you so much for replying.I'm studying for medical entrance,right now I don't even know if that's what I want to do with my life, I love studying but it feels like I'm forcing myself to make myself to believe it. Studying doesn't seem like something I'm doing from heart anymore. And- my best friend who I've been together for almost 8 years now are drifting apart, we don't talk much anymore , I guess she can sense it too. But I keep clinging onto her even though I know it's time to let go of the friendship. I've to pretend that everything is same ,when nothing is.I'm really bad at making friends as well so I feel so lonely nowadays.I can't listen to music ,I can't study,I can't talk to people; everything is so hazy in my head.My only comfort was talking with my sister but that's not possible now either.Most days I feel numb to the world around me ..I'm just waiting to live ,to feel alive.
  • daisyella12daisyella12 Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    @jungkook

    I completely understand how you feel. I think studying only one subject for such a long time (I just graduated after studying psychology) can make us lose interest and motivation for something that we thought was a passion. It is different to school and college where we study a variety of subjects at the same time. However, just because you don't feel as passionate about it right now, may not mean it isn't what you want to do anymore. After graduating I did nothing to do with psychology for 6+ months and have now realised that psychology really is a passion of mine that I want to go into. Although, this may not be the case for you and that is completely okay! if you find this isn't something you want to do anymore, there are plenty of other options and the skills learnt through studying can benefit you in the new area you decide to go into. In terms of friendships, it is so sad when friendships come to an end naturally, I lost quite a few long friendships when I went to Uni. I found that my life was different and it was difficult to fit everything and everyone into it. Since graduating I have made an effort to catch up with those friends I drifted from every 6 months or so, that way it isn't a forced friendship but we pick up where we left off. We could not talk at all for the whole 6 months then when we meet it is nice because we have so much to tell each other. This may be something you could do to come to terms with the friendship ending? I'm glad to hear talking to your sister helped you, do you mind me asking why this is not possible anymore? <3

    I am so sorry that this is something you are going through right now, it is so difficult, sending you hugs x
  • jungkookjungkook Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
    @daisyella12


    My sister went to college ,which is quite far from home so I can see her only during vacations .While speaking in phone I don't wanna burden her with my stuff since she already has a lot of things in her mind regarding college assignments,exams,etc.But i know she's always there for me.Regarding friendship I am not sure that catching up will help even when we are in the same room I can feel do much distance .Things aren't the same anymore and I'm not sure if I wanna go back to how it was .What scares me the most is that I'm gonna be in the final year of my school soon and letting go of this friendship will become my biggest regret...? But one thing I know for sure is that I dread going to school because of her.I know all of this sounds confusing and contradicting but that's just how my thoughts are in my head.I feel like I always bring down people around me and I'm carrying a lot of guilt and shame . I just wanna study hard,make my parents proud and feel a little happiness.I'm so scared of disappointing my parents that it takes so much courage to even open my books .I feel worthy only when I score good grades.. Have you ever felt like your struggling so much that it hurts or maybe you think your just being a sensitive person..? Sometimes I get jealous of others lives ,because everything seems easy and why does my life look so hard that even I myself have difficulty living it..? Sometimes I feel like all my problems seem so silly and it will change as I grow up.But I tried a lot of coping mechanisms but nothing helps and every time I fall back to where I started.This place is my last hope and I appreciate it ,thank you for your advices - it's really helpful.
  • daisyella12daisyella12 Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    @jungkook

    I understand, sometimes it feels like a burden to share our problems with other people especially when they have things going on in their lives. Its good that you're close with her and know she will always be there for you, so if you did really need it you could go to her or phone her. Our thoughts are sometimes hard to process especially if they're telling us different things. its such a hard situation to be in when a friendship ends because you know there's no point trying to force a friendship but its also hard to let the friendship go. What is it that you feel guilty or shameful about? the friendship ending? there is nothing to feel guilty about, as much as we can be and it is nice to be selfless, we need to live life the way that will make us happiest. if letting go of a friendship that you no longer feel comfortable in will make you happier, then you do not need to feel guilty for doing that to benefit yourself. It seems like you have a lot of pressure from your parents to do well, it may be worth having a conversation with them about this if you feel comfortable, as they may reassure you that your best is enough and if your best doesn't achieve the best grades then that is perfectly okay. Good grades do not guarentee a good job, in fact a lot of jobs are based more on experience (I have found out from looking for a job for 8+ months now with relatively good grades and only just found one!). Your feelings are valid, struggling is painful especially when you've been struggling for a long time. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive and your problems are not silly, we cannot compare our problems to others, someone may always have it worse than us but it doesn't take away from the fact that in this moment we are struggling, we are allowed to feel upset just as much as someone else. I'm glad you've found it helpful to get all your feelings out on here, I'm always happy to listen and respond. Even if I can't do anything to change your circumstances, I hope you feel a sense of comfort from someone hearing you <3
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hello @jungkook. Welcome to The Mix's community, it is great to see you have joined us. You have shown so much courage by reaching out for support and trying to connect with us.

    It sounds like you are experiencing a tough time at the moment, especially with not being able to connect to your friends or family properly, feeling lonely and feeling trapped in your own life. Has anything, in particular, triggered these thoughts and feelings for you? We are here to listen if you would like to share more with us
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • jungkookjungkook Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
    @daisyella12 @Laura_tigger82


    I apologize for the late reply ,anyways thank you so much for taking time out of your day and responding to me.Since my last post a lot of things in my life has changed,a lot have been going on,life has been a roller coaster ride in the past few days. I've been struggling a lot regarding my friendship,family,studies. I just want a break from everything but I can't take a break from life ,can I? For the first time in my life I thought of suicide ,for the first time I was considering the pros and cons of it but I guess I'll never do it because I still have a strong urge to live ,I still want to fulfill my dreams,I still want to make my parents proud .First I'll say how I came to this place in life ,what happened to me that I just wanna disappear somewhere forever. Just one year back my life was so different,unimaginably different . I was really happy,I had everything in life, true friends,family which supported me, and I studied really well that I was a topper. As soon as I entered this new academic year ,a lot of things changed-I was forced to chose a stream which I wasn't fond of ,my sister was not at home,I started studying really hard that I almost became sick,friend circle changed, .At one point I was so fed up of everything that I stopped doing everything. I didn't study , stopped talking with my family, avoided my friends,didn't take care of myself,started lying to everyone around me, hated going to school so I took leave always,shut myself inside my room - instead I became an extreme phone addict,I started living inside it,my average time of looking at phone was 18 hrs.I became a horrible person that all my actions disgusted even me.when I say I'm a phone addict people take it as a silly issue but its not .My addiction was my way of making myself numb to the world ,to forget everything around me ,to avoid whatever is hurting me.But from january of this year I decided to change my life,I decided to turn it around ,to get my life together. So i started using a lot of strategies to avoid phone but as I was doing it I realized a lot of things changed , a lot of repressed emotions raised up,I noticed a distance between my friends ,family and now I was doing bad in my studies as well .I'm someone who is really conscious of grades,who cares so much about doing well in school and my studies was the only thing I could say I was good at ,but now I lost everything..today for the first time I failed in an exam,for the first time my mom cried because of me,first time I'm this much embarrassed.I don't know why but I think when people see my life from outside everything might look silly,all silly excuses but its not .I'm trying ..I'm trying so hard but I keep failing ,now I've no strength to keep fighting..I've so much more to go, 8 months left for my college entrance .I honestly don't know if I can make it..



  • daisyella12daisyella12 Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    @jungkook

    You're welcome. I am so sorry you have still been struggling, it seems like things have been really hard for you lately. It is so good to hear that you have a strong urge to live because you want to fulfil your dreams and make your parents proud! Going through such big changes in a short amount of time can be really stressful, however, you have dealt with it so well! It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed by change as we are creatures of habit. The fact you had the inner strength and motivation to help yourself with you phone addiction is a massive achievement, you should be so proud of that. In no way is being a phone addict silly, I'm sure it is probably a common addiction. Well done for recognising it! Addictions are usually formed when trying to escape something, which explains why your repressed emotions may be reappearing. Have you been in contact with a GP or anyone who can help talk you through the emotions you are facing? I can see you are trying, all you can do is your best, your best is always enough <3
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