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Foster care :)

Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
edited March 27 in Home, Law & Money
Hi, I'm Ashleigh, and I'm in foster care, and have been for 11 years, with the same foster carers. So if anyone here is going into care, and wants to know what it's like, or just wanna ask questions, then please feel free to, I'm always here for you ❤
-Ashleigh/Ash 💕❤💕❤
Post edited by JustV on

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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,618 Legendary Poster
    I’m not personally care experienced but know many people who are.

    How do you feel about being in care? How’s your experience been. I often ask this question because I think it’s important for people who might be going into care to read about others experiences and how it felt for them <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    independent_ wrote: »
    I’m not personally care experienced but know many people who are.

    How do you feel about being in care? How’s your experience been. I often ask this question because I think it’s important for people who might be going into care to read about others experiences and how it felt for them <3

    @independent_ Well, it was hard at first, but I've learned to accept that that's just the way things are, and it's much better and safer than being with my real family, this way I can be safe and learn how do do things the right way, so I can take it all into the future. My experience has been okay, it's definitely not been as bad as some people's has, and those who have had it rough, I'm sorry, and you can always talk about it with someone.
    Thank you for your questions, I appreciate it, and I'm always happy to answer your questions! ❤
    -Ash ❤💕❤💕
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Thank you very much for opening up this space, I'm sure it will be amazingly helpful to listen to you <3 If you feel okay answering this (absolutely no worries if not !!), I was wondering what you would say is the biggest misconception that people hold about foster care? xx I really appreciate your time.
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    AislingDM wrote: »
    Thank you very much for opening up this space, I'm sure it will be amazingly helpful to listen to you <3 If you feel okay answering this (absolutely no worries if not !!), I was wondering what you would say is the biggest misconception that people hold about foster care? xx I really appreciate your time.

    Sorry, I don't check my messages here often cause I don't get many notifications 😅
    No problem 🥰 No, that's okay, I'm happy to answer that, thanks :) Well, I would say the biggest misconception is that foster care is really bad and scary. Which isn't true at all, maybe at first, but it really isn't that bad when you get used to it. You just have to learn that they're there to help you. I think this misconception comes from people hearing bad things about it, which puts them off it and makes it seem like a bad, scary thing. Alright, some people may have had bad experiences in care, but just because it didn't work out well for them, doesn't mean it won't for you. Honestly, it's not that bad when you settle in. As long as you don't break their trust and screw them over, and be respectful and understand they're tryna help you, then you'll be fine.

    Sorry this is long, but I hope it helped. Let me know if you have any more questions 💕

    -Ashleigh/Ashy/Ash 🥰❤❤❤
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Thank you so much for replying so quickly, Ash! I'm really grateful for that and to have read your amazingly insightful post. It's so important that you're here helping people like me to better understand what foster care is actually like for a lot of people, I also think it's really great that you recognise that some people can have difficult and scary experiences but that you encourage people to try to think positively where possible <3 Of course I know that's not always possible and when you're so young trying to navigate the world, it's no wonder there might be some backlash to moving into a new situation. You were beyond helpful and I think it's so fantastic that there is this awesome space for us all to learn =) xxxx
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    AislingDM wrote: »
    Thank you so much for replying so quickly, Ash! I'm really grateful for that and to have read your amazingly insightful post. It's so important that you're here helping people like me to better understand what foster care is actually like for a lot of people, I also think it's really great that you recognise that some people can have difficult and scary experiences but that you encourage people to try to think positively where possible <3 Of course I know that's not always possible and when you're so young trying to navigate the world, it's no wonder there might be some backlash to moving into a new situation. You were beyond helpful and I think it's so fantastic that there is this awesome space for us all to learn =) xxxx

    No problem, I try and reply as soon as I can :D Thank you so much! You have no idea how much your support helps me, it means a lot! ❤ Yeah, I do get that it's hard when people have a bad experience, but I do try and be positive about it, there's always something you can do to better a situation, if you really look! 🥰 Thank you so much! You've been so helpful too, It means so much that you're being so kind and appreciate the advice I give, cause I like doing it! 💕
    How are you? I hope you're okay :)
    -Ash ❤💕❤💕
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    It's so lovely to learn from you because it's way better than even googling articles because this way we can actually listen to the people who have real lived experience =) I was thinking of asking another question too, if that's alright? I know this might sound like a silly one, as if the obvious answer is 'be kind', but, what makes a good foster carer to you? xx
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    AislingDM wrote: »
    It's so lovely to learn from you because it's way better than even googling articles because this way we can actually listen to the people who have real lived experience =) I was thinking of asking another question too, if that's alright? I know this might sound like a silly one, as if the obvious answer is 'be kind', but, what makes a good foster carer to you? xx

    Aw well I'm glad I can teach you a few things. Of course, that's okay. Yeah it's nice they're nice 😂 and they have to be understanding and help you when things are tough and be nice to everyone and preferebly not be racist or homophobic or lgbt+ phobic, ...Or just not discriminate againt anyone! 😅
    -Ash 💕
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    You are teaching us a lot @Ash1. Thanks for sharing this really insightful information with us.

    I can certainly hear how being nice, understanding, helpful and not discriminating are really important elements of a foster carer!

    Are these positive things about foster carers how you have experienced foster care? :)
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    Laura_tigger82 wrote: »
    You are teaching us a lot @Ash1. Thanks for sharing this really insightful information with us.

    I can certainly hear how being nice, understanding, helpful and not discriminating are really important elements of a foster carer!

    Are these positive things about foster carers how you have experienced foster care? :)

    Thank you! And no problem 😊
    Well...mostly I guess. They're don't discriminate but occasionally I feel like they totally don't get me and only see things from their point of view and think I need to be like everyone else 🙄 I just gotta live with it I guess 😐
    -Ash 💕
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2022
    I am really glad to hear you have mainly experienced the positive things you have mentioned about foster carers @Ash1. In particular, it is really positive to hear they don't discriminate.

    Though, it sounds difficult that you sometimes feel they don't get you and only see things from their point of view. I can hear how that might be frustrating. Uniqueness is good and deserves celebrating! :)
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    Laura_tigger82 wrote: »
    I am really glad to hear you have mainly experienced the positive things you have mentioned about foster carers @Ash1. In particular, it is really positive to hear they don't discriminate.

    Though, it sounds difficult that you sometimes feel they don't get you and only see things from their point of view. I can hear how that might be frustrating. Uniqueness is good and deserves celebrating! :)

    Thank you @Laura_tigger82 That means a lot 😊
    Yeah it is difficult but oh well 😂 I agree! 🥰
    How are you today? 💕
    -Ash ❤
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Ah, thank you so very much for getting back to me on this! I think that's such an important point you make, to ensure that children and young people are safe from any kinds of discrimination at home is beyond essential! <3 In terms of what you mentioned about not always agreeing/getting along, I am curious if there is anything in particular you regularly disagree on? (feel free to ignore this one if you'd prefer not to answer) xxx
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    AislingDM wrote: »
    Ah, thank you so very much for getting back to me on this! I think that's such an important point you make, to ensure that children and young people are safe from any kinds of discrimination at home is beyond essential! <3 In terms of what you mentioned about not always agreeing/getting along, I am curious if there is anything in particular you regularly disagree on? (feel free to ignore this one if you'd prefer not to answer) xxx

    No problem! I'm happy to answer! 🥰 Well, not huge things, just...it's hard to explain 😅 Certain situations and things. If I think one thing is okay in a scenario, she'll think it's not. Or she thinks there's a right way of doing something, or being something, and occasionally I'll disagree with it. So not huge things, and she doesn't have bad or wrong views, I just have different opinions than her on some things.
    Sorry if that made no sense 😂
    -Ash ❤
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    Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Hi @Ash1 lovely to have you here!

    Super glad to see this section having some use again.

    I spent time in care growing up and it's something I struggle with regularly. I don't have any questions for you but feel free to reach out if you ever need a chat:) 
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    Anch0r33 wrote: »
    Hi @Ash1 lovely to have you here!

    Super glad to see this section having some use again.

    I spent time in care growing up and it's something I struggle with regularly. I don't have any questions for you but feel free to reach out if you ever need a chat:)

    Thank you very much! I really appreciate it! 🥰 And the same goes for you! 💕
    -Ash ❤💕❤💕
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    LeilaLeila Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Hi, I'm Ashleigh, and I'm in foster care, and have been for 11 years, with the same foster carers. So if anyone here is going into care, and wants to know what it's like, or just wanna ask questions, then please feel free to, I'm always here for you ❤
    -Ashleigh/Ash 💕❤💕❤

    Hey Ash,

    I am not in Foster care but wanted to come and say thank you for telling the community that's a massive step, as it can be quite daunting that your opening up to the world, but well done!

    How has being in care been like for you? I've heard some of my friends who are in care saythat their care experiences haven't been perfect, but life isn't perfect.

    I am so pleased to hear you don't feel discrimated by your Foster carers, that's lovely and positive to hear, it sounds like they support you ad best as they can, which is important and amazing!

    You don't have to answer but, how has being in care for 11 years, has it helped you, etc? And also, how has your experience been?

    Of course you don't have to answer,

    Take care,

    Leila ♡
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Thank you @Ash1 !! Grateful for your answer <3 and 1000% it makes total sense and disagreements on 'small things' can make up part of life, right? Although that definitely does not make it less frustrating when we're faced with those kinds of arguments especially in the home environment!! xx
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Hi, I'm Ashleigh, and I'm in foster care, and have been for 11 years, with the same foster carers. So if anyone here is going into care, and wants to know what it's like, or just wanna ask questions, then please feel free to, I'm always here for you ❤
    -Ashleigh/Ash 💕❤💕❤

    Hey Ash,

    I am not in Foster care but wanted to come and say thank you for telling the community that's a massive step, as it can be quite daunting that your opening up to the world, but well done!

    How has being in care been like for you? I've heard some of my friends who are in care saythat their care experiences haven't been perfect, but life isn't perfect.

    I am so pleased to hear you don't feel discrimated by your Foster carers, that's lovely and positive to hear, it sounds like they support you ad best as they can, which is important and amazing!

    You don't have to answer but, how has being in care for 11 years, has it helped you, etc? And also, how has your experience been?

    Of course you don't have to answer,

    Take care,

    Leila ♡

    Hey Leila,
    Thank you very much! 💕
    It took a lot of getting used to at first, but so does everything! It's been good, I've been brought up normally in care, which I appreciate. If I wasn't in care, I dread to think of what life would look like for me, I'd live with horrible people who have horrible views on things, and I'd be brought up to live like them, and I'd be a horrible person myself! So that I'll be forever grateful for 💕

    Happy to answer! :smile: Yes, being in care for 11 years has definitely helped me. I had a lot of issues before being in care, and a lot of hygiene issues and speech issues ( due to FASD, aka fetal alcohol syndrome) and my family had a lot of issues too, drink and drugs, my mum clearly couldn't stop it even when pregnant, which is the reason for my FASD, obviously :/ But being in care has definitely helped, I have a lot better hygiene, and my speech is way better, not perfect, I still have a lisp and probably always will, but that's okay, at least it's better. Sorry if that was way too much information, but I hope it answered your question! 🥰

    -Ash ❤💕❤💕
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    LeilaLeila Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Hi, I'm Ashleigh, and I'm in foster care, and have been for 11 years, with the same foster carers. So if anyone here is going into care, and wants to know what it's like, or just wanna ask questions, then please feel free to, I'm always here for you ❤
    -Ashleigh/Ash 💕❤💕❤

    Hey Ash,

    I am not in Foster care but wanted to come and say thank you for telling the community that's a massive step, as it can be quite daunting that your opening up to the world, but well done!

    How has being in care been like for you? I've heard some of my friends who are in care saythat their care experiences haven't been perfect, but life isn't perfect.

    I am so pleased to hear you don't feel discrimated by your Foster carers, that's lovely and positive to hear, it sounds like they support you ad best as they can, which is important and amazing!

    You don't have to answer but, how has being in care for 11 years, has it helped you, etc? And also, how has your experience been?

    Of course you don't have to answer,

    Take care,

    Leila ♡

    Hey Leila,
    Thank you very much! 💕
    It took a lot of getting used to at first, but so does everything! It's been good, I've been brought up normally in care, which I appreciate. If I wasn't in care, I dread to think of what life would look like for me, I'd live with horrible people who have horrible views on things, and I'd be brought up to live like them, and I'd be a horrible person myself! So that I'll be forever grateful for 💕

    Happy to answer! :smile: Yes, being in care for 11 years has definitely helped me. I had a lot of issues before being in care, and a lot of hygiene issues and speech issues ( due to FASD, aka fetal alcohol syndrome) and my family had a lot of issues too, drink and drugs, my mum clearly couldn't stop it even when pregnant, which is the reason for my FASD, obviously :/ But being in care has definitely helped, I have a lot better hygiene, and my speech is way better, not perfect, I still have a lisp and probably always will, but that's okay, at least it's better. Sorry if that was way too much information, but I hope it answered your question! 🥰

    -Ash ❤💕❤💕

    Hey Ash,

    I am so pleased things are okay, yiu deserve to be heard and supported, so I'm so pleased for you, thank you for telling me and answering my question,

    Lots of love,

    Leila
  • Options
    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Hi, I'm Ashleigh, and I'm in foster care, and have been for 11 years, with the same foster carers. So if anyone here is going into care, and wants to know what it's like, or just wanna ask questions, then please feel free to, I'm always here for you ❤
    -Ashleigh/Ash 💕❤💕❤

    Hey Ash,

    I am not in Foster care but wanted to come and say thank you for telling the community that's a massive step, as it can be quite daunting that your opening up to the world, but well done!

    How has being in care been like for you? I've heard some of my friends who are in care saythat their care experiences haven't been perfect, but life isn't perfect.

    I am so pleased to hear you don't feel discrimated by your Foster carers, that's lovely and positive to hear, it sounds like they support you ad best as they can, which is important and amazing!

    You don't have to answer but, how has being in care for 11 years, has it helped you, etc? And also, how has your experience been?

    Of course you don't have to answer,

    Take care,

    Leila ♡

    Hey Leila,
    Thank you very much! 💕
    It took a lot of getting used to at first, but so does everything! It's been good, I've been brought up normally in care, which I appreciate. If I wasn't in care, I dread to think of what life would look like for me, I'd live with horrible people who have horrible views on things, and I'd be brought up to live like them, and I'd be a horrible person myself! So that I'll be forever grateful for 💕

    Happy to answer! :smile: Yes, being in care for 11 years has definitely helped me. I had a lot of issues before being in care, and a lot of hygiene issues and speech issues ( due to FASD, aka fetal alcohol syndrome) and my family had a lot of issues too, drink and drugs, my mum clearly couldn't stop it even when pregnant, which is the reason for my FASD, obviously :/ But being in care has definitely helped, I have a lot better hygiene, and my speech is way better, not perfect, I still have a lisp and probably always will, but that's okay, at least it's better. Sorry if that was way too much information, but I hope it answered your question! 🥰

    -Ash ❤💕❤💕

    Hey Ash,

    I am so pleased things are okay, yiu deserve to be heard and supported, so I'm so pleased for you, thank you for telling me and answering my question,

    Lots of love,

    Leila

    Thank you so much, I appreciate all the support! 💕 No problem, always here to answer your questions! ❤
    Lots of love,
    Ash 💕
  • Options
    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    AislingDM wrote: »
    Thank you @Ash1 !! Grateful for your answer <3 and 1000% it makes total sense and disagreements on 'small things' can make up part of life, right? Although that definitely does not make it less frustrating when we're faced with those kinds of arguments especially in the home environment!! xx
    Thank you very much for understanding!
    -Ash 💕
  • Options
    LeilaLeila Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Hi, I'm Ashleigh, and I'm in foster care, and have been for 11 years, with the same foster carers. So if anyone here is going into care, and wants to know what it's like, or just wanna ask questions, then please feel free to, I'm always here for you ❤
    -Ashleigh/Ash 💕❤💕❤

    Hey Ash,

    I am not in Foster care but wanted to come and say thank you for telling the community that's a massive step, as it can be quite daunting that your opening up to the world, but well done!

    How has being in care been like for you? I've heard some of my friends who are in care saythat their care experiences haven't been perfect, but life isn't perfect.

    I am so pleased to hear you don't feel discrimated by your Foster carers, that's lovely and positive to hear, it sounds like they support you ad best as they can, which is important and amazing!

    You don't have to answer but, how has being in care for 11 years, has it helped you, etc? And also, how has your experience been?

    Of course you don't have to answer,

    Take care,

    Leila ♡

    Hey Leila,
    Thank you very much! 💕
    It took a lot of getting used to at first, but so does everything! It's been good, I've been brought up normally in care, which I appreciate. If I wasn't in care, I dread to think of what life would look like for me, I'd live with horrible people who have horrible views on things, and I'd be brought up to live like them, and I'd be a horrible person myself! So that I'll be forever grateful for 💕

    Happy to answer! :smile: Yes, being in care for 11 years has definitely helped me. I had a lot of issues before being in care, and a lot of hygiene issues and speech issues ( due to FASD, aka fetal alcohol syndrome) and my family had a lot of issues too, drink and drugs, my mum clearly couldn't stop it even when pregnant, which is the reason for my FASD, obviously :/ But being in care has definitely helped, I have a lot better hygiene, and my speech is way better, not perfect, I still have a lisp and probably always will, but that's okay, at least it's better. Sorry if that was way too much information, but I hope it answered your question! 🥰

    -Ash ❤💕❤💕

    Hey Ash,

    I am so pleased things are okay, yiu deserve to be heard and supported, so I'm so pleased for you, thank you for telling me and answering my question,

    Lots of love,

    Leila

    Thank you so much, I appreciate all the support! 💕 No problem, always here to answer your questions! ❤
    Lots of love,
    Ash 💕

    Hi Ash,

    You're very welcome! No worries, lots of hugs,

    Leila
  • Options
    Ash1Ash1 Posts: 316 The Mix Regular
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Sunbathequeen wrote: »
    Ash1 wrote: »
    Hi, I'm Ashleigh, and I'm in foster care, and have been for 11 years, with the same foster carers. So if anyone here is going into care, and wants to know what it's like, or just wanna ask questions, then please feel free to, I'm always here for you ❤
    -Ashleigh/Ash 💕❤💕❤

    Hey Ash,

    I am not in Foster care but wanted to come and say thank you for telling the community that's a massive step, as it can be quite daunting that your opening up to the world, but well done!

    How has being in care been like for you? I've heard some of my friends who are in care saythat their care experiences haven't been perfect, but life isn't perfect.

    I am so pleased to hear you don't feel discrimated by your Foster carers, that's lovely and positive to hear, it sounds like they support you ad best as they can, which is important and amazing!

    You don't have to answer but, how has being in care for 11 years, has it helped you, etc? And also, how has your experience been?

    Of course you don't have to answer,

    Take care,

    Leila ♡

    Hey Leila,
    Thank you very much! 💕
    It took a lot of getting used to at first, but so does everything! It's been good, I've been brought up normally in care, which I appreciate. If I wasn't in care, I dread to think of what life would look like for me, I'd live with horrible people who have horrible views on things, and I'd be brought up to live like them, and I'd be a horrible person myself! So that I'll be forever grateful for 💕

    Happy to answer! :smile: Yes, being in care for 11 years has definitely helped me. I had a lot of issues before being in care, and a lot of hygiene issues and speech issues ( due to FASD, aka fetal alcohol syndrome) and my family had a lot of issues too, drink and drugs, my mum clearly couldn't stop it even when pregnant, which is the reason for my FASD, obviously :/ But being in care has definitely helped, I have a lot better hygiene, and my speech is way better, not perfect, I still have a lisp and probably always will, but that's okay, at least it's better. Sorry if that was way too much information, but I hope it answered your question! 🥰

    -Ash ❤💕❤💕

    Hey Ash,

    I am so pleased things are okay, yiu deserve to be heard and supported, so I'm so pleased for you, thank you for telling me and answering my question,

    Lots of love,

    Leila

    Thank you so much, I appreciate all the support! 💕 No problem, always here to answer your questions! ❤
    Lots of love,
    Ash 💕

    Hi Ash,

    You're very welcome! No worries, lots of hugs,

    Leila

    🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😊
    -Ash 💕
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