services email

ellie2000

everybody blanking me at the moment and emailed the interviewer 'i want another meeting, but not with you' we assumed tht there wasnt a meeting with the collegues, is that rude?. i get annoyed wen i get decined and i end up having a go at them

Brookee

Hey @ellie2000,

I’m so sorry this is happening again, it sounds like it’s really difficult to cope with these rejections. Can I ask which service is blanking you at the minute?

Laura_tigger82

Hi @ellie2000

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

I am really sorry to hear you feel blanked at the moment. Would you like to expand on who you are feeling blanked by? Please know that we aren't blanking you. Instead, we hear you.

I understand that you may feel annoyed when declined. Would you like to tell us what the interview was for? Hopefully, you will have more interviews in the near future.

Good luck with everything, and take care for now. If you need anything, we are here for you. I hope writing about how you feel helped

ellie2000

wellbeing centre, turning point. mr c i sed in a email tht im gna self harm if he doesnt zoom me
ppl r unreliable wen u need help

i h8 every1

ellie2000

wat do i do? is txting shout the only option

ellie2000

is saying ill self harm too much?

Brookee

@ellie2000 If you're feeling suicidal or having urges to self-harm, I would encourage you to text Shout or contact The Samaritans if that's an option for you. I think it's clear that you're dealing with a lot of trauma, which can be really hard to cope with, particularly when it feels like everyone is being unreliable or unresponsive to you when you really need it. I think The Mix's webchat is also still open, if you'd like to contact them about your feelings. You're not alone, I know it feels like that right now, but you're not. Do you want to talk more about what you're feeling right now?

AislingDM

Couldn't agree more with what's already been said, Ellie. I can't imagine how painful this sense of rejection is, especially when you deserve to be heard in such times of need. I know you're in a lot of mental anguish right now and when you're in such pain wanting support is a truly reasonable thing, you are not being 'overly-expectant' to ask not to suffer alone.

In terms of messaging mr c about self-harming, it definitely isn't wrong to be truthful about your overwhelming emotions leading you to self-harm, I wonder if it might be clearer to say something like 'I don't think I can keep myself safe from self-harm right now, I really need some urgent support'. Of course, this is just a suggestion and whatever works for you in a moment of crisis is more than understandable.

Messaging SHOUT may be a really cool idea if you feel that can help to keep you safe tonight, just being able to have a convo back and forth with someone can make pain easier to process. I think anything that can allow you to have a space to talk about your pain would be a good move, and I am so glad that you are thinking so quickly of how to cope right now, it really is awesome, Ellie


Here is PAPYRUS's hotline number if you'd prefer to chat to someone on the phone 08000684141.

Huge hugs as always xxx

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000,

Thanks for your response. I am sorry about the delayed response; I wasn’t online later last night.

It must be really upsetting and difficult to deal with when you need support and the people who usually support you aren’t around to support you.

I agree with @Brookee and @AislingDM. If you are struggling (especially with self-harm/suicidal thoughts), please do contact Samaritans, Shout, The Mix Helpline or The Mix Crisis Messenger. Their details are listed as follows:

- Samaritans: Call 116 123 or email jo@smaritans.org (24/7)
- Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7)
- The Mix Helpline: Call 0808 808 4994 (4pm – 11pm, 7 days a week)
- The Mix Crisis Messenger: Text THEMIX to 85258 (24/7)

I hope this helps you. You could always keep these in mind when you are next in need of support if you are well now (or both now and in the future). Would you like to talk to us more about what made you feel this way yesterday?

We are here for you, and always listening to you! You never have to go through this, or anything else alone if you don’t want to

ellie2000

i feel rough still i stay quiet coz i got told to shoosh, i still feel theres a monster in my house, so i pretend tht i'm doin h/w. so it would notice tht im doing something else. goin off their rules they didnt like it. even though everythings quiet now i still get 'head rain' it feels like somethings coming wen i do.

ellie2000

i feel like i cant call family or..... so i use signal app quietly. stupid mind/head whateva its called haha

ellie2000

finnally i saw mr.c email today. he emailed after i sent the email where i sed i was goin to knock myself out

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

I am sorry to hear you feel rough. Please may I ask who told you to shoosh? And what monsters do you feel are in your house?

Are there particular times when you feel the monsters are there the most? I am glad everything is quiet now. I am sorry to hear you feel you can't call your family. What do you think might happen if you call family?

I am glad to hear Mr C emailed today. Did Mr C help? Please know that we are here for you and listening to you. You have our support too

ellie2000

shoosh=hush or how u say it.
angry ones at nite time, they're head stuff then i panic. i dont call my family coz ive learnt wen ur in dyer need ppl think ur fibbing. they take the side of adults of their half
yeah!!!! i finally got a zoom call

Brookee

@ellie2000 it really sounds like your going through so much, and we’re always here for you. It’s okay to want support, you deserve to be listened to and supported, particularly when your mind is making things really difficult to cope with. I’m glad Mr C got back to you and you’re having a zoom call, but always remember SHOUT, The Samaritans and Papyrus are always options if you feel unheard or unsupported. I want you to get the help you deserve because you really do deserve it. You are always welcome to vent here if people in real life aren’t helping you or listening to you. We’d rather you expressed your feelings than be silenced, sending you lots of love

ellie2000

i made him ponder, by saying i used senna. tht made him think

Brookee

@ellie2000 Is he able to refer you to anyone to help you cope with these difficult feelings?

ellie2000

he very gd and helps but sometime things dont work

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000

Thanks for your response. I am glad he is very good and helps. It is okay that sometimes things don't work. Not everything will work for everyone and the same things won't always be as helpful - they will change. Do you know what would help you at the moment? I am just thinking that this may be something worth exploring with him if you feel comfortable doing so!

AislingDM

When people automatically take the side of adults, this is really devastating. Almost like young people aren't trusted to understand our emotions fully, which certainly isn't the case. It's no wonder you're feeling so drained and undersupported right now, Ellie. In particular, you mentioned not going to your family when the pain becomes overwhelming, because you've learned that they won't listen, This must be so isolating for you. I wonder, to whom do you turn when it's late at night and you feel alone? xx (thanks again for keeping us updated about your progress with Zoom calls and such too!!)

ellie2000

i feel every1 tell me to go bed at nite

Brookee

@ellie2000 That sounds really devastating to be pushed away like that when you need someone to speak to, I'm wondering, have you found The Samaritans, Papyrus or SHOUT any help when you're struggling in the evening/night time, to talk through your feelings? You deserve to be heard and supported.

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000

Thanks for your response. How do you feel about everyone telling you to go bed at night?

ellie2000

ppl who r asleep, tht i ring up wen i having a wobbly r not helpful.
what do u say wen u ring those numbers

Brookee

@ellie2000 You can just let them know that you're struggling, and then share whatever you feel comfortable sharing with them, they'll make sure you're heard and listened to and give you the space to get out the feelings that you need to to feel calmer

Lucy307

You can say whatever you like, Ellie, and they should give you the space if you need time to think too, you wouldn’t be rushed 💜

Lucy307

Shout also have text support don’t they, so you can write out your feelings if you find it easier 😊

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000

Thanks for your response. What a great question. Please can I ask what people? If helplines, then @Brookee and @Lucy307 have provided some great information about what to expect! If you have any more questions though please don't hesitate to ask away