Self love and acceptance

Former Member

Hi!
A recurring theme I see in myself and others is a difficulty in holding and practicing self love or self acceptance. It can be so difficult to accept or love yourself in a time of social media where certain body types are praised and certain life routines (which are affected by mental health) are looked down upon, for example. I would love to hear anyone's advice on practicing self love/acceptance and how to find it.
Personally, I find that comparing myself to other people can lead to negative thoughts about myself, therefore avoiding comparison to others and understanding others have different genetics, mental health difficulties, environmental components and that individuality should be celebrated even if it includes insecurities is very helpful. By avoiding this comparison it allows me to accept and possibly love the things about myself that I previously didn't, giving me a different and more positive mindset.
I'm wondering if anyone else has any advice on gaining self acceptance/love? This would definitely be helpful for me and others, thank you!

Former Member

Hey @laviniavd,

This is such an insightful and wonderful thing to bring up, thank you so much. It’s super important to practise self care and kindness towards yourself. You matter more than anyone else and you and your mental health are priorities. Your body and mind are unique and super important and they make you, you, and you are an incredible individual. We can do all the same things as our favourite influencers, eat the same, train the same but we still wouldn’t look the same because we’re all built differently genetically. It’s hard to digest that, particularly when struggling with mental health, but it’s something I feel should be boosted more regularly. Follow people who uplift you and make you feel full and happy, and unfollow anyone who makes you feel guilt or upset about yourself and how you’re made.

I’ve really found meditation and mindfulness helpful. Being aware of the fact that you don’t have to follow all of your thoughts, and your negative thoughts don’t define you. It can take a while to get adjusted to it, but it’s important to be kind and gentle with yourself, and know that it’s perfectly normal to have an unruly mind, and one that wanders constantly, it’s perfectly normal, and it isn’t something to punish yourself about. Becoming aware of where your brain goes when it wanders is something that can help you deal with difficult and overwhelming thoughts and feelings.

I’ve also found moving my body everyday and getting fresh air, even if it’s just 5/10 minutes each day helps clear my head and gives me a boost of dopamine and endorphins. It can be something as small as dancing around the kitchen or going for a short walk, whatever works best for you, not for aesthetics but to make you feel good.

You deserve kindness and love, you’re doing the best you can within your circumstances and that’s more than enough💖

AislingDM

Completely agree with Brooke, your post is beyond fantastic and so deeply important. You raise such immensely significant points about how our conceptions of what 'health' and 'wellbeing' are have become massively skewed by comparisons with others, which has only been augmented by social media. I love to hear that despite how overwhelming and in-your-face these kinds of comparisons are, you're working so hard to battle against this and contrive your own picture of self-love

For me a huge part of it came from beginning with something I already liked or at the very least 'didn't mind' about myself. And for me, this did not begin with something physical, it started with looking at skills I was proud of, or achievements I'd made, as at times we can be less critical of these things than we are of our physical forms!! I know this isn't always the case, but being able to wake up and say 'hey I'm kind of smart' can slowly evolve into 'of course I'm smart!' with time. I personally found it easier to start there Would love to continue to go on this journey with you, so let us know if you hear of any other ideas too xxx

Laura_tigger82

Hey @Iaviniavd

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am really pleased to see all the wonderful support already provided by @Brookee and @AislingDM.

Self-love and acceptance is a journey and it is one that individuals must pay conscious effort and attention to. Though, I think it is also important to keep in mind that we all practice self-love and acceptance in different ways. There is no wrong (or right) way to practice self-love and acceptance, as long as the individual feels it benefits them.

I am really proud of you for identifying what helps you! I know just how much time and energy you would have had to put in to identify what helps you. I think it is also important to acknowledge that on social media people often edit their photos and only upload their highlights. It can mean we rate them higher than our (un-edited) selves. However, you don't get to see their low moments or that their posts were a mask to cover up how they are feeling.

Mind also has some useful tips for improving your self-esteem if you are interested in exploring this in more detail. You can find it at https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/. I hope this helps.

We think you are awesome, keep going!

Former Member

@laviniavd

Thank you so much for making this post, I feel so many people will benefit from this, including me!

I think this is something a lot of people struggle with and therefore would be interested to follow along on your journey.

Do you feel comfortable giving examples of things you accept or love about yourself that you previously didn't? Of course only share if you feel comfortable. I would be interested to know if putting it out here would make you love those things even more and may also encourage other people to share what they love about themselves

Laura_tigger82

Hey @daisyella12

Thanks for your supportive response. Your support for our community members is always recognised and appreciated. I am really glad to see you found @Iaviniavd's post beneficial. I think listing the things we love about ourselves if we feel comfortable doing so is really useful!

Former Member

@Laura_tigger82 Thank you for recognising this

I always do my best to support the members of the community, I have also noticed what a big part in the community you play thank you for your continued support also!

Laura_tigger82

Hey @daisyella12

You are more than welcome. Your support will reach many more people than you probably realise and you deserve to know that you matter and so do all your efforts. Similar to you, I always try to help if I can. It is my pleasure to help if I can

Former Member

@laviniavd Love this thread! Unfollowing people that make you feel bad about yourself always help. If it's a celebrity/influencer that shows up on your explore page, it helps to block them. I also like to so positive self talk in the mirror. Try it for 10 mins every day. This quote always makes it easier if you're struggling:

'Talk to yourself like someone you love' - Brene Brown

xxx

Laura_tigger82

Hey @Sona

Thanks for sharing your tips too. Your tips are always super valuable and appreciated. It helps to create a wider range of potential tips too. How are you all at the moment?

AislingDM

This idea is really interesting and certainly something that helped on my (ongoing) journey @Sona . Sometimes when we are in such a painful place with our feelings towards ourselves and our bodies, even being reminded of people we think are super beautiful can be extremely difficult to cope with. Even if it is not your long-term goal to 'avoid' pretty/good looking people online forever, it can be a necessary step for some, and anything that can help you to begin to love yourself is hopefully a good thing. Thank you for sharing with us on here

Former Member

Yess I agree. We are constantly receiving images and messages of perfection and not enough that show us the diversity of people and embracing your authentic self. So sometimes it helps to create that filter yourself.
xx

Laura_tigger82

Hey @Sona

Thanks for your response. Oh, I absolutely agree. I really value the importance of diversity and embracing your authentic self! Really valuable

Former Member

Hi @daisyella12
I'm so happy this post has benefitted you! I've definitely become more confident about my body as a whole. I think I used to perceive thinner body types with health as social media has a tendency to make that seem as the desired body. At my thinnest I felt no happier than at my heaviest; which was so eye opening for me. And after realizing that genes take a play into how bodies are shaped/built and that all bodies are different in the amount of food they need depending on size and physical activities done for example, I learnt that being healthy is more important than how my body looks. To nourish my body and mind by treating my body right and making sure I eat well and consume nutritious food and to take pride in this allows me to realize there is nothing wrong with my body, especially if I'm treating it right!
Reminding myself daily that I am beautiful, unique and am treating my body with the nourishment it deserves has been life changing. Your body is taking care of you, its keeping you alive! So its important to remember to take care of it back and give it some love!!
This stuff does take some time but I really do think everyone's contribution in this discussion has been enlightening and I hope those who need to see it do x

Former Member

@Sona I also find that some pages on Reddit such as ones called Instagram vs reality are very insightful into how people portray themselves online compared to how they are in real life. It opens your eyes to see that such beautiful people are also insecure and edit their pictures. Because of their insecurities I feel its important not to shame them but use such Reddit pages to explore the diversity of online vs real life images to make yourself aware of how prevalent it really is.
They also sometimes post appreciation posts for people/ads that present unedited images which can be very refreshing.

Former Member

@laviniavd Thank you! Your tips are so so helpful and eye opening, I really appreciate it

Former Member

@laviniavd Do you follow Celebface on Instagram? They do a similar thing. It's quite eye opening to see how much work/editing people that are perceived as the beauty standard get done. It made me realise that we are all a victim of the system and that I don't want to continue in that cycle.