whittering

ellie2000

is there reson to witter on about covid now, n y do ppl get even if they r up to date on their vaccines

Former Member

Hey @ellie2000,
I think many people are just very concerned about their safety at the moment, and a lot of people have lost loved ones to it, so I think it's still quite raw for a lot of people. Is this something that's causing you to feel frustrated, Ellie?

Laura_tigger82

Hi @ellie2000

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I think you have been brilliant at putting your perspective into words and for that, I am proud of you.

I am sorry to hear you are frustrated. Would you like to expand on who is wittering on about COVID? I hope this is something we can talk you through so you can understand and hopefully feel better about it. We might also be able to offer you some strategies for reducing the frustration.

I would just like to reiterate what @Brookee has said though, people have been affected to different extents and in different ways. For example, I have been fortunate as I have not lost people to it. However, I have had to shield myself due to being clinically extremely vulnerable which means it still affects the choices I make daily (even though I am fully vaccinated).

I hope we can help you, we are listening to you, and we are here for you!

ellie2000

At least she wasn't venting feelings, feelings that ppl hav, wen they say too much and don't try to help themselves. Wat they say latches on to u. Stuff ppl say in person r inconsiderate, it leaves me wanna die n I hav to wait till the weekend. I play games from 'killmonday' which sometimes makes me worse coz they're based on Nordic monsters. I recommend 'killmonday' games if u play games
Has any1 got any ideas for relaxing activities?

Laura_tigger82

Hi @ellie2000

Thanks for your response. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I agree that what people say latches on to you. Would you like to expand on what people say in person which is inconsiderate? It sounds really tough for you to deal with.

I am sorry to hear it makes you feel suicidal. Please remember that you are always more than welcome to reach out to Samaritans or Papyrus. I have put their contact details below in a spoiler which I hope will help. We are also always here for you as a listening ear.

Thanks for your game recommendation. In terms of relaxing activities, I would say setting boundaries for yourself is probably the most important, in having time for yourself away from people. Other relaxing activities might include watching television, listening to music, arts and crafts, board games, card games, going for walks, going out with friends, going to the shops, and much more! It will depend on what you are interested in and what you enjoy.

Samaritans - Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus - Call 0800 068 41 41 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org

I hope this helps

AislingDM

Just wanted to pop on here and ask about which activities do you enjoy? For example, I'm not a huge lover of walks so I don't get on too well with walks in the hopes of relaxing, but I LOVE art stuff, so I'd love to know more to be able to think of some specific suggestions like Laura has said!! one thing I love is the shaving foam marbling! xx

Laura_tigger82

I think this is such a great question. Thanks for asking it @AislingDM. I am just tagging @ellie2000. @ellie2000, I hope you find this useful and it gives you a better chance of seeing @AislingDM's response!

ellie2000

I've become 'shut in' if that's the saying, not going out. My head going tic toc, I just sleep

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000

Thanks for your response. Just to make sure we can fully understand your situation and provide you with the most appropriate support we can, I have a couple of questions for you if you feel comfortable with answering them. These questions are (a) Why do you feel like being shut in? and (B) What does your head do with tic toc? I hope we can support you through this. We are certainly listening to you

ellie2000

i had a therapist that made me think of a swinging heavy pendelem nd she didnt close the sessions of properly. i learnt tht u hav 2 find the right ppl in the hoarde of monsters outside, some r still walking getting on with their lives

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000

Thanks for your response. I am really sorry to hear you have had this negative therapy experience. You deserve to be treated much better, with much more support. We are here for you, listening to you, and supporting you if you ever want to talk to us more about this or anything else!

ellie2000

wat do i do? r there techniques to forget stuff?

Former Member

Hey @ellie2000,

I think when it comes to forgetting traumatic memories, it's very difficult, they have a lot more control over us than we'd like. It'll probably be more likely that therapists will provide you with ways to cope with these memories and the feelings they bring up, particularly if they're difficult to cope with. Do you currently have a therapist working with you?

ellie2000

no, i got declined frm the wellbeing service coz they sed i had the max ammount, i think they didnt like wat i had to say, how long should u wait after ur appointment for a decision? i dont think they had a discussion

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000,

Would you feel comfortable appealing their decision or looking for alternative routes to therapy? Whose wellbeing service did you get turned down from? Is this an NHS based one? If so, would you feel comfortable talking to your GP about how you have been feeling and see if they can re-apply?

You deserve all the support you can get! Your GP would also be able to answer all your other questions if this is the case. Please let us know and hopefully, we will be able to help you to navigate this. Please remember we are always at least listening to you

AislingDM

That sounds extremely frustrating and unfair for you @ellie2000 . It's not like you suddenly stop needing support simply because you've accessed different services before! You deserve to be heard and helped through things, especially if you want to be able to cope with memories that you'd rather forget. When you say 'wait after ur appointment', do you mean an appointment with the wellbeing service? Regardless, I think it would be really important to let your GP know that you feel it is wrong that you cannot access the help you need and deserve right now. I know this is a pretty immense task, so it's beyond okay if that feels too daunting, we are always here to help you with this if you'd prefer

ellie2000

after the first meeting do they usualy make u wait acouple of weeks for discussions

Laura_tigger82

Hi @ellie2000

Thanks for your great question. Is waiting what is happening to you? Unfortunately, I don't have experience with this. However, I think it probably is quite common. I am sure there is someone you can reach out to in the meantime if you are struggling though - such as your GP as @AislingDM suggested and helplines

AislingDM

just wanted to check in and see how you're doing @ellie2000 ? I know you've talked about not getting the help you need and being made to wait for a while between appointments, which doesn't sound too helpful for you. It must be so gutting to reach out for help, only to be kept at arms-length all the time. Have you heard back since? Big hugs here xxx

ellie2000

I away frm where i live n I feel good 😊 but why do we fall wen we go to the environment we live in?

AislingDM

That's a really interesting and important question, Ellie! what makes us return to old habits and patterns of behaviour? Maybe it's just that sense of familiarity that makes us go back to different ways of acting. I'm glad to hear that you feel good when away from where you live, what do you think makes it feel happier than being home?

ellie2000

wen im home i close in with south park, computer games or i go to bed. i go c-coo most days

AislingDM

That makes total sense, almost like home just reminds you of being kind of cooped up and focused on things like TV and the internet, which can be awesome in many ways but sometimes not as exciting as being in a totally new environment. Do you think you'd be able to try to recreate the 'vibe' of being elsewhere in your home setting too? x

ellie2000

wat do you mean

AislingDM

Yeah, reading this back I didn't word that all too clearly, sorry about that confusion, Ellie! Hopefully I can be clearer here! So, you know when you're not at home, you feel freer and less 'stuck in habits' do you think it could be possible to feel that way at home too? and if yes, how could we make that possible? xxx

ellie2000

wen i came of esuba im always on edge, the stsipar and the police won. they take a fat W i take a fat L. the flats not been maintenance for yrs, even b4 i got free, could tht be why? they r fixing it, but they put a massive hole in a wall so theres tht.
(words are backwards bc may trigger)

AislingDM

You're so kind to take the time to make your posts as least triggering as possible, Ellie. Especially when you're talking about your own trauma, you're a really compassionate person. It's no wonder you're left feeling much freer and more relaxed when you're away from home, especially if it means you get to briefly be away from a tiny bit of the pain of knowing that you were failed by the police. Having to cope with that is devastating enough, let alone having maintenance issues to think about on top of it all. You deserve to be supported through such pain and anguish not cast aside by those who are supposed to help! I wonder has anyone been able to be there for you throughout this? huge hugs as always xxxxx

ellie2000

Wen I get no-where in finding help, I think 'am I cut out for this'

AislingDM

I completely get what you mean when you try to reach out and then it yields no results that actually help, you're left feeling so uncertain of where to turn because you've already tried so hard to get support! Could you tell me a bit more about what you mean by 'am I cut out for this?' xxx

ellie2000

AislingDM

Still here if you need, Ellie