Self-harm gets out of control(TW: graphic description&suicidal thoughts)

Kate_20

I self-harm and I hope it can cause more pain because I deserve that. I would want an infection.

I deserve to die as well. Death is perfect.

mod edit: removed physical details

Brookee

Hey @Kate_20,

I know self-harm can be a coping mechanism, particularly when in distress. Do you want to talk more about what's lead to you turning to self-harm? This is always a safe space for you, and we care about you

Kate_20

@Brookee I don't like myself. It feels better to be in pain. I hate complaining. I cannot tolerate myself.

Brookee

@Kate_20 When you say you don't like yourself, what is it that's making you feel this way today? Has anything happened today that's triggered these distressing feelings for you?

Kate_20

I failed my goals again. It is painful and shameful. And I feel helpless.

Brookee

Hey @Kate_20 ,

When you say you've failed at your goals, what do you mean by this? Is this to do with your deadlines for university? I just wanted to let you know that struggling doesn't mean you matter less, you're doing the best you can within your circumstances, and you deserve some gentleness. University is hard enough as it is, but the fact you're struggling with mental health difficulties as well, it's normal to struggle. Failing and not doing as well as you want isn't reflection upon your abilities, you're dealing with a lot right now, and you're doing amazing by persevering through despite these setbacks.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Kate_20

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I just want to reiterate what @Brookee has said as I would have said the exact same!

There is no such thing as 'failed' again, only that you may need to re-adjust your goals so you can get to where you want to be. We believe in you!