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I want to end each sentence of my dissertation with death.

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I finally misread one of my dissertation sentences as 'Choosing a more efficient way to die'. I know all I need is death and nothing is going to change it. Positive things in my life are hindrances to my death so they are inconvenient.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo

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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Kate_20 It sounds like you're feeling really hopeless right now. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, we're here for you. If you do feel suicidal though, it may be beneficial to reach out to SHOUT (85258), The Samaritans (166 123) or Papyrus (0800 068 4141). You're never alone, people want to help you, and you deserve support. Can you tell me more about what happened leading up to you feeling this way?
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    Brookee wrote: »
    @Kate_20 It sounds like you're feeling really hopeless right now. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, we're here for you. If you do feel suicidal though, it may be beneficial to reach out to SHOUT (85258), The Samaritans (166 123) or Papyrus (0800 068 4141). You're never alone, people want to help you, and you deserve support. Can you tell me more about what happened leading up to you feeling this way?

    @Brookee Nothing made me feel like this. It comes out of nowhere. I guess it is just an instinct of death.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Kate_20 That sounds really distressing to cope with. Do you feel able to express more about how you're feeling?
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Brookee I really hope I could but there really isn't anything left.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am sorry to hear you are struggling. I think you are doing really well in telling us what you are thinking. I see hope still in you. We are here for you! <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    Hey @Kate_20

    It's okay, I understand completely, it can be difficult to explain emotions in words. Do you find writing these feelings down helpful? Or even maybe drawing, or painting. These can be really good outlets for when these emotions are difficult to process. You deserve support, and we're always here for you <3
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    daisyella12daisyella12 Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Kate_20

    I just wanted to agree with what @Brookee and @Laura_tigger82 have said, we are here for you, we care about you and we want to support you. I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time <3

    Would you like to share how you are feeling today?

    Sending hugs <3
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    In addition to how you are feeling @Kate_20, please know that we are here for you in general. If that is talk about random things to help take your mind off other things then that's absolutely ok! Or talk about the dissertation and how you may be able to reach the goals you want then that's absolutely ok too. We are always here and listening! <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @daisyella12 Sorry I am just not doing well and sorry for triggering people.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Laura_tigger82 Thanks. But sometimes I just feel like I am being ungrateful as people want me to be alive but I don't feel like I can stay alive for long.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    Thanks for your response. You are definitely not being ungrateful just because you are struggling. It is okay not to be okay sometimes. You are doing all the right things in reaching out for support. People just care about you and will do anything to help! <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    daisyella12daisyella12 Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    @Kate_20 you never have to apologise for how you feel <3
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @daisyella12 My parents said that I am too fragile for being suicidal.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    daisyella12daisyella12 Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    @Kate_20 I'm so sorry that your parents are not being sympathetic to how you are feeling, this must make things even more difficult. The fact you have opened up to them about it takes so much courage, you should be really proud of yourself as this is a step in the right direction even if it does not feel like it right now. They may not fully understand everything you've been through that has brought you to this point and these feelings. Some people who have not gone through these thoughts and feelings themselves find it hard to understand someone else going through them. :(

    Have you been in touch with any helplines? such as Samaritans (116 123), Mind (0300 123 3393) or by texting SHOUT to 85258.

    Sending you hugs <3
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @daisyella12 They have the same feelings but they think only I am being fragile because I haven't been through anything.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    You don't have to go through anything to struggle. Sometimes biology is also a key factor. Though, you have also been through things. We are always here for you if you ever need to talk! <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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