What do u think?

Former Member

Hello people on the internet that I barely know,

So, I kinda need ur viewpoint on this one. I haven't been feeling emotionally well these past couple of months, with school and a tough year. I'm considering meeting a therapist to clear out if I may have depression or anxiety. The most dreadful part is asking my parents.

The problem is that my parents don't know how bad I'm feeling. Sure, I've told them about how anxious I am with school but they brushed it off bc they probably thought I was being dramatic like any other teen. I want to tell them... but a part of me is happy with them not knowing. I worry that they'll pity me, or view me in a different way afterwards. A part of me also worries that they're right, that I'm just being dramatic and attention seeking.

I should probably talk to the school counselor, but then I'm new to this school (not even a year yet), and just don't have the guts to do it. Again, I don't want to destroy the facade that I feel so safe hiding behind in front of my teachers and friends.

So pls tell me, what should I do? And how can I gather enough courage to just tell somebody who wouldn't downplay it?

Former Member

Hey there @KikiDee I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much, this all sounds like an awful lot for you to be having to deal with at the moment so I'm glad you felt able to come to the boards and talk about what you're going through.

I actually went through a very similar thing myself when I first realised I was struggling with my mental health, I knew I needed help but I just couldn't bring myself to talk about it for a lot of the same reasons you've mentioned above. What really gave me the courage to speak up and try to get help was first talking it through with my brother, who I'm very close to, and having his support really made the next steps easier.

Do you have anyone in your life who you're especially close to that you feel you could rely on? Or would you feel better talking to someone anonymously like here on the boards but one-on-one like The Mix's chat or The Samaritans? If you need some links to services like that just ask I'm happy to provide.

Former Member

Hey @KikiDee, Thank you so much for reaching out, we're always here for you.

It seems like you're dealing with a lot right now, so it's understandable that you're feeling heightened anxiety. I know you've said you've spoken to your parents about it before, and they've kind of dismissed it, do you feel like it's safe for you to actually have a full conversation with them about what you're dealing with right now? I know it can be scary to worry that you'll be seen different, but it's important to remember their reactions or actions in response to what you've told them aren't reflected upon you. Do you need your parents permission to access a therapist?

I think it's amazing that you want to access support, it's a really important and wonderful first step. I want you to know that we believe you, and don't think you're being overdramatic, you deserve to feel supported and loved, particularly when you're dealing with so much.

I hear you about your anxieties around talking to the school counsellor and being seen as different, however, if you feel you would like the support then I would encourage you to do that for yourself. It can be very anxiety provoking, but it may be really helpful in the long-term for you and your mental health. You and your mental health are priorities, and anyone else's opinions are irrelevant, you're doing something beneficial for you, and that's incredible. I think if this is a really overwhelming decision for you to make right now, it might be helpful to talk to someone you trust and feel safe and comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with. This may be really helpful and almost a practise run at talking to the school counsellor or your parents even.

Please do be gentle with yourself, you're going through a lot and it takes a lot of courage to reach out and even consider support when you're struggling with mental health. Sending you lots of love, and know we're always here for you

Former Member

Hey @KikiDee

Proud of you for reaching out here. This post alone is a huge step towards getting the support you deserve

It's important to remember that you can do everything at your own pace; whatever you are comfortable with. It is not always easy to ask for help or to tell people how we are feeling. So, if this takes you a bit of time to figure out, that's totally okay. We will be right here for you, every step of the way

I see Riley has suggested anonymous support. My mind straight away went to the same suggestion I'm wondering if you could seek anonymous support first, just to get used to the experience of talking about your feelings with a professional. Then, you can build up to speaking to somebody face to face - whoever you may choose for that to be.

This could also be a good way to raise the topic with your parents. You could mention you have spoken to a supportive charity and they have suggested meeting with a therapist etc. I'm wondering if they might be less inclined to downplay your emotions if they knew you had reached out for support before?

Your feelings are so, so valid. You really deserve to be heard. You also don't have to hide. However you are feeling is in no way a reflection of your character or who you are. It doesn't change any of your wonderful qualities. You're still you - an amazing person, who just needs a little help through tough times. And that's totally okay. You deserve to be supported

Laura_tigger82

Hi @KikiDee

Well done for reaching out. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

I am really glad to see that @Riley, @Brookee, and @coc0mac have already provided you with some wonderful support.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your family about how you feel, do you have any friends who you would feel more comfortable taking to the GP with you?

Your friends and teachers care about you, just like we do. We are all here for you and listening to you

Azziman

KikiDee wrote: »

Hello people on the internet that I barely know,

So, I kinda need ur viewpoint on this one. I haven't been feeling emotionally well these past couple of months, with school and a tough year. I'm considering meeting a therapist to clear out if I may have depression or anxiety. The most dreadful part is asking my parents.

The problem is that my parents don't know how bad I'm feeling. Sure, I've told them about how anxious I am with school but they brushed it off bc they probably thought I was being dramatic like any other teen. I want to tell them... but a part of me is happy with them not knowing. I worry that they'll pity me, or view me in a different way afterwards. A part of me also worries that they're right, that I'm just being dramatic and attention seeking.

I should probably talk to the school counselor, but then I'm new to this school (not even a year yet), and just don't have the guts to do it. Again, I don't want to destroy the facade that I feel so safe hiding behind in front of my teachers and friends.

So pls tell me, what should I do? And how can I gather enough courage to just tell somebody who wouldn't downplay it?

Hey Sorry to hear what you're going through. I think there's never really an good or easy time to tell your parents about this kind of thing, and we naturally worry about how they'll react and take the news. If I were in your position, I think seeing the counsellor is a good idea - they can be pretty good and more well-versed with school-related stuff, so they might be better positioned to help. You don't have to tell anyone about it if you don't want to, or you can cover it up with an small excuse (e.g. 'I'm having a hard time concentrating'). With a counsellor, you don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to - with a therapist, I think you'd have to tell your parents about it. Just my two cents, but I don't think it's any harm trying the counsellor and seeing how that goes first?