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What memories hurt you?

Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large AnchorPosts: 1,201 Wise Owl
edited September 18 in Health & Wellbeing
There was an awesome post recently about happy memories by @Past User (amazing post btw!). I hope you don't mind me half nicking your idea!

So I'm making a space for you to talk about the memories that hurt you.

Talking about things that hurt you can bring you peace and help you accept that they happened to you.

This could be anything from failing a test/not getting the grade you wanted, to a relative dying or a break up. Anything, no matter how big or small.

It's a space for you to get things off your chest and hopefully lighten your load <3
Post edited by TheMix on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large Anchor Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    I want to talk about the memory that's most prominent in my mind. It doesn't fit in with the best memories post.

    It was a Wednesday and I was in geography class. There was a knock on the door and my head of year called for me to come and bring my bag (which always meant you'd miss the rest of class). It was about 5 minutes after we'd done registration so I've realised there was an email sent asking if I was in class or not and my teacher had responded to say I was.

    I'm walking along the corridor and my head of year tells me that there's two social workers there to talk to me. My mind instantly told me to run, out of any of the 4 doors to outside, but my body does nothing. It freezes. I just keep walking with the teacher.

    That was the day I went into care, I was collected from school by two social workers and taken to live with my grandparents and I never went home again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Anch0r33 Thank you for making this thread, it can be so difficult to deal with these memories, and having people who want to give you the space to express these in a safe environment, is really wonderful. Also, thank you for expressing your own memory, that seems like it was really distressing for you, and I hope you're okay. Thank you again for sharing!

    I think a memory that really hurt me was when someone contacted me to tell me my boyfriend had slept with someone else whilst I was really struggling mentally, and it just caused me to deteriorate further, and I still to this day don't know what happened, and it's just something that really hurts to think about, and it's just brought up a lot of problems with trust for me, because I always was a very trusting person, and it just kind of broke me. I think what was worse was that he kept trying to persuade me he didn't do it, and I was just torn between who to believe and things didn't add up on either end. I'm happy to say that I am coping better, and know that whoever was wrong, it's not my fault, and it doesn't reflect on me, but sometimes it just winds me to think of it.
  • Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 Posts: 0 Just got here
    edited September 18
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 Posts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large Anchor Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    That's so tragic @Past User I'm so sorry you're going through that. It sounds so raw and I can really hear the pain in your message.

    @Brookee wow yes I can really see how that would be so hurtful, and I'm sorry that happened to you. My partner was cheated on by his previous gf and I know howuch he is still affected by that - and we've been together 4 years now. He's always worried that I'm going to cheat on him and leave him for someone else and it tears me up from the inside. I'm glad to see that you know it wasn't your fault and that you're not blaming yourself
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large Anchor Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    A memory for me that still feels incredibly raw, but it was back in 2016. I'd moved abroad and was living in a group home at the time - was me and about 11/12 others from my team.

    I became close friends with quite a lot of the boys from our academy (it was like we had a girls team and 2 boys teams), mostly because they thought it was cool that I was from the UK.

    Anyways I'm obviously still learning from going into care 2 years previously and I didn't really understand my feelings and what different things meant. So one of the boys, Billy, I was spending every day with. He was so nice to me and I became attracted to him - looking back, it was more because he was being nice to me so I clung onto that.

    So I'm in the house with the girls and we're all saying who we think is hot from the boys teams, and I foolishly say Billy, but he's the same person that the popular girl said. At the time there wasn't so much of a cliché but it was forming.

    They went and told Billy and everyone was laughing at me. He pulled away because he didn't want any drama and then the girls ended up making loads of lies to me.

    My coach got involved with the cliche and would be one of those girls and it was brutal.

    She became abusive and I ended up asking to move out to a foster/billet family in the area which happened with me and one of my teammates who was (and still is) one of my closest friends.

    It just hurts with Billy so much.

    But it helped me when I moved to Canada because I knew I wasn't going to let myself get sucked into drama. When me and one of the boys I was close to we're good friends, people were betting on us getting together but I never let my feelings get to the Billy stage. The boy in Canada had a girlfriend and I wasn't getting in the way with that.

    It's just... Painful.
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Hello all

    Thanks @Anch0r33 for creating this thread. Like @Brookee said, it is great that our community has a safe and supportive place to talk about their experiences if they wish.

    I am proud of you all for being so open and willing to reach out for support! In addition to that, the support you provide for one another makes our community the wonderful place it is.

    I am really glad to hear you all know you deserve better. I really believe in a quote that says the sunshine is always there but sometimes it is hidden behind the clouds. I hope your sunshine comes out for you again soon.

    We are always here for you, listening to you, and caring about you <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) Posts: 0 Just got here
    edited January 2022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Hi @Past User

    Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I am so sorry to hear you have been through this. It sounds like such a tough experience. Unfortunately, there are no words that can make this okay for you. Please know though that your best friend is watching over you and would be so proud of you! We are always here for you if you want to talk to us about your best friend or anything else <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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