Trauma Vent

Former Member

(PTSD and Depression)
(Still traumatized and still struggling to move on from all this what happened)

So a girl out of the blue who i never got on with who i knew from both school and at a youth club randomly added me on Snapchat in June that has just gone.... then apologized to me for something she put me through back in 2014 - 2017, but only to claim my number from me for WhatsApp and continued chatting to me from there telling me that her kids have autism and that she wanted to be my friend, this girl never did no such thing to act like a friend, instead she acted creepy by tryna flirt with me in a manipulative tone not only did she try and get in my pants on Snapchat but she turned mardy and transformed into ghost mode on WhatsApp when I told her that I don't view her in that type of way, so just because I was only willing to keep the conversation platonic and in friendship format only, just because she smokes weed she then tried suggesting I should try smoking weed and said that it's good for autism even though she knows I'm against any form of smoking and intolerant to the smell of all forms of cigarettes, she told me her older brother is autistic and that weed benefits him, but I will never let anyone brainwash me into trying or supporting drugs, then she told me she did coke with her children's father because he was feeling low and she wanted to comfort him, then because I told her straight that weed is as bad for you as tobacco she turned bitter by stalking me on Facebook and having a go at me for liking people's posts and then after this she started ignoring me by leaving me on read on WhatsApp everytime when I kept changing the subjects she was talking about to normal and conversations about hobbies and positive stuff in general, but just because I pulled her up about saying that weed will benefit me, i also told her that my energy is not strong enough to waste on people who say they want to be my friend if they are just going to keep leaving me on read, she then stop talking completely, kept me left on read the wholetime whenever I chatted with her all the way up until August until I finally lost my patience and blocked her on all social media platforms, then thats when the filth from the mud kicked in and when she became spiteful to a point where she started dishing my number out to random people asking them to cold call me, a vast of them kept asking me for money with threats saying I owe such and such and saying that if I don't pay up I will go to prison, when I have never committed fraud before, I would never steal money off anyone, a few of the other prank callers were asking for my address saying that they have a parcel for me, yet during the whole period of time I never ordered anything off the internet in the first place and I am not that daft enough to give my home address out to a random person who I do not know, not only did this girl gamble out my number to all these cold calling money grabbing nuisances but the girl also started trolling me on an anonymous question asking app called "Tellonym" throughout the wholetime sending me questions about kissing and asking me how I would react if she told me she has feelings for me, then spammed me with spam links that ask for you to view people on pornography sites, like I'm a sex machine, she dished my number out to people to prank call me she was too quick to scam me into a fake offer of friendship just so she could continue to bully and manipulate me, she tried to use my autism against me by using her children as an excuse just because they are also autistic, she has been bullying me, stalking me, harrasing me and trolling me throughout the whole decades, she forgot that she thought it was funny to jump me back in 2014, I was only like 14/15 years old a (minor) and she was 18 an (adult), she jumped me just a month after I joined the youth club throughout my whole time while I was at the youth club, before and after she beat me up she kept staring at me everywhere in the youth club all the time I was there, this spite this woman has put me through has stained a trauma upon me that feels like a scar that I am still trying to overcome, it makes me wonder that I am probably the only one who she has had wrapped round her thumb the wholetime to be this spiteful to, I am still traumatized by this situation and I just need somewhere I can vent I am still struggling to move on from this situation and has made my depression worse, I have tried counselling but it hasn't helped me at all with moving on from this.

Has anyone else here ever been in this situation before or similar?

Former Member

Hi @Mitchall

Thank you for sharing this with us here. This must have been tough to write about, given the horrible things you have been through. So I am really proud of you for doing so. We are here to support you

First of all, I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. Nobody should ever be treated in this way. Bullying, harassing, stalking - everything she has done to you - is never okay.

I am proud of you for being so aware, so strong, and for not giving in to any peer pressure. You are absolutely right about the dangers of drug use and sharing your address with strangers etc. Well done for being so vigilant.

I'm wondering if you have ever reported her behaviour to anybody before? There are support services dedicated to different experiences, such as harassment or online trolling. I will list a few below. You deserve to feel safe and supported, and for this harassment to come to an end.

• BBC's 'Own It' - a directory of support services for online abuse
• Met Police - their advice on how to report online harassment
• The Mix have pages on cyberbullying and bullying

You also deserve support for coping with your trauma. There are many different types of counselling. I'm wondering whether you would be open to other types of counselling than what you had before? It may be that a different form could help you better than your previous counselling did. How would you feel about this?

I want to send so much love and support your way. You can vent here as much as you like, and we will be here to listen and support you. Take good care

Former Member

Hi I reported her the year 2014 straight after she attacked me I ran straight to the police station but at the time when I reported her the police only took pictures of the bruises on my face and put her on bail, they said the situation wasn't eligible for a restraining order, as for the Snapchat, Tellyonm and WhatsApp situation that has happened last year at the start of July until August, my phone wiped all the evidence just as I blocked her on everything otherwise if I still has the evidence for this situation too I would of reported that straight away, I have been trying out all different counselling services all my life but none of them have helped me at all with moving on, sadly to this day I am still struggling to move on from these situations, I have never had any friends in my life and I believe that if I had friends it would of been a easier distraction to help me move on from all this trauma, but sadly I grew up as a loner and always being rejected by society for being completely unique to other people.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Mitchall

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

I am really glad to see @coc0mac has already provided you with some wonderful support. Thank you @coc0mac.

I can hear how upsetting it must have been for you to have received a reminder of a previous difficult experience. Let alone to also have more recent negative experiences with this person.

If you don't feel safe with this contact, can I please encourage you to take screenshots of the messages, report them to the police, tell a family member, and block them? Also, if you don't have the evidence, can I please still encourage you to take your devices to the police?

They can retrieve evidence for a certain period of time and I feel it would retrieve most of if not all of your evidence. It might also highlight the persistence with which this person is approaching you given the amount of time passed between the last event and the more recent contact. This is, of course, only if you feel comfortable with this.

If other people still have your number, it might be worth changing your number too if this is something you would feel comfortable with.

I just want you to be as safe as you possibly can be on social media. Social media should be a safe place to connect with people you know and are friends with or family members.

I also want you to know that I am sorry you have experienced this but it does not define you. I am also autistic! You should be treated with the same values as everyone else.

We are here for you, listening to you, and caring about you

Former Member

Hi I really appreciate all the time you have took to offer me some advice over this matter, I instantly blocked the woman straight away on all social media platforms after she kept leaving me on read on WhatsApp, but sadly as I blocked her on all platforms all the evidence wiped off my phone, but when she beat me up back in 2014, I instantly ran straight to the police station straight after she jumped me and attacked me, but the police only took pictures of my bruises from my face and put the woman on bail, but they was unable to give me a restraining order, as much as I want to take all the trolling further it will be pointless now since all the evidence has cleared off my phone and I doubt they would still have her name on record since 2014 when she beat me up was years ago from today, I understand and appreciate that counselling has benefited other people that have been in this situation or similar but I have been trying counselling throughout all my childhood and as much as I have appreciated all the support and been patient with it, it's never helped me with moving on, throughout my whole childhood I used to use CAHMS and then I was referred on to Samaritans and other counselling services, I have even accessed the counselling service at that youth club too, but counselling has never been intense enough for me to be able to convince my brain to move on, 5 years ago from now I used to take fluoxtine and sertraline anti depressants medication to control my depression, but sadly none of the medication helped or made a difference even when I had the doses adjusted, I was on them for 4 years, but they never made a difference, so I asked my GP to take me off them and she told me that there was no point me being on them anymore since they weren't working, as for social media and everywhere online has always been a lonely place for me, I have never had any friends or anyone to talk to at all online, people have only approached me if they want to be hostile and troll me etc, I have never been lucky enough to find any friends at all, not even from that youth club and all the other ones in Nottingham, sadly I have always been a loner and i am really grateful for how you have made me aware that you're also autistic, learning this about you makes me feel even more relaxed here as a autistic person, I am really grateful for everyone's kindness and everyone's time and patience with hearing me out and all the advice that has been offered to me by you all, I really appreciate all this, as this woman is now 26 I still can't get my head round why she hasn't grown up since having 2 autistic children herself I would of thought that this would of opened her eyes to realising that everything she has put me through is all wrong and cruel, but I never thought she would end up being the trolling type too especially since she had her children born 5 years ago from now, but it's still a huge shock how to she even contacted me out of the blue in the first place on Snapchat then did all this trolling nonce to me, I have been trying to move on from this the whole time since I blocked her on everything at the near end of August when she was just leaving me on read on WhatsApp, but sadly my brain has still been confused the whole time on why she even reached out to me in the first place, I still don't understand.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Mitchall

Thanks for your response. It is great to hear where you are at as this helps us to support you the best we can. You are more than welcome for our support. Our support is the very least you deserve.

I hear you think it will be pointless because you believe your evidence has gone. However, the police have much more intelligent tech than we do and are able to retrieve deleted evidence across a period of years!

If you feel comfortable talking to the police, I would still encourage you to do so. You have been through a really tough time with this woman and she has re-approached you more recently. Please be patient and kind to yourself, situations like this should not happen and will understandably take your time and energy to process.

Please be reassured that it is more than okay that support has not previously been successful for you. Different people benefit from different support. You are still reachable though. I know you are still reachable because you are still here and trying to reach out for support which takes courage.

People just need to be aware of the types of support you want and think would be beneficial for you. When you came off your anti-depressants, did your GP offer any alternative strategies? Might it be worth going back to your GP? Usually, your GP is a great first point of call.

In terms of social support, I think we are a friendly and supportive place and I hope you will find the same and might even make some friends over time! I am also wondering if you are aware of the National Autistic Society's social groups? (https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/support-in-the-community/social-groups). They tend to be a supportive space where you can meet other people with autism if you wish.

As always, we are here for you and are listening to you

Former Member

Thank you for all your kind words and words of advice I really appreciate all this support, I would of spoke to my GP about all this situation but my GP has always been a busy person and she has never had time available to support patients with this type of stuff and she only works one day a week now and she is always fully booked, it's very rare I get the opportunity to speak with her now, I have recently signed up to AEM and they came out yesterday to give me a consultation their service is based a 10 minute walk just up the road from where I live, their service is a day centre service where you meet other people on the spectrum, do activities with and go on trips with, they are going to contact me in Due course when they have availability to arrange for me to have a tour around the building and if I like the sound of stuff they will take stuff from there.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Mitchall

Thanks for your response. I am really sorry to hear your GP is rarely available. Would you feel comfortable talking to another GP? Like on the day GP's? You need and deserve their support.

AEM sounds really helpful! I am wishing you all the best of luck with that.

If you need anything else or have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out to us again soon