Can't understand what is going on

Kate_20

I know it is weird. I feel so lonely, but I don't handle messages well. Sometimes I feel extra pressure when receiving messages from my friends. Rather than replying to them, I sometimes don't know how I can handle these messages and would just leave them aside and feel anxious about the messages I received. But when I don't receive their messages, I feel lonely, anxious and empty.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Kate_20

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

That makes perfect sense to me! Especially with everything else you have got going on.

What in particular makes you feel the pressure?

Would phoning them help you as you could speak rather than have to write?

Or is it more of a case that it feels more to do on top of your already extensive to-do list? If so, could you just respond to them when you are ready?

Would seeing them in person help rather than texting? If so, is this something you could arrange with your friends? either in person or through video call?

Sometimes this can mean that friends are in your company so you aren't feeling alone but you don't necessarily have to speak. You might find an activity to do together instead, sometimes this can help to take the pressure off.

We are here for you and listening to you

Kate_20

@Laura_tigger82 I just feel like I am going to lose them. I know it is irrational. My close friends have their phones on silent so it is impossible to call them or even arrange a time. Unfortunately, we will never be able to see each other in person and I have lost contact with a lot of friends due to my mental health. I am even too scared to ask for more interactions with them because I think it will be one day that they will decide to leave me because the world will be better without me anyways. It seems like everyone else is okay moving on with their lives without friends? I just don't know how they can do that. They must have used some magic tricks to be okay by themselves.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Kate_20

I am really sorry to hear you have experienced the feeling of contacts moving on. This must be really tough and not surprising that it is something you feel anxious about.

If you were to message the contacts you feel moved on without you, would they respond to you? If you're not sure, I think it might be worth a try if you feel comfortable doing so.

Sometimes we don't fall out with people but we lose contact with them. In these situations, each member of the friendship is hoping the other contacts them and they feel worried about the reaction.

In these situations, it is possible to break the cycle as long as you feel comfortable doing so. You must feel comfortable and safe doing so as that's the most important thing.

I am sure they would understand that you are experiencing a tough time and want to be there for you. They might just not be aware that you are struggling.

Often people fake they are okay and you may find out that they wanted to contact you but weren't sure you wanted to speak to them or something similar.

If you are messaging your friends, could you ask them if they would like to talk at a certain time? or send them voice clips that they could respond to if there's not a time that suits you all?

Your true friends care about you