Feeling Pressured!

Former Member

Really hating how I am right now.
I got advised to do yoga, and I also do some skipping which also helped me lose weight and tone up a bit. That bit is the best as I was never as thin as all the other girls. Only now, particularly over Christmas, I've been eating without having too much thought over what I'm eating so long as it tastes good. I do still try yoga and skipping but having ASD means I have general routines of when and what day I take a shower.
Ridiculous huh?!
Thats how it is. So a day like today when I haven't quite considered my intake I feel like I cannot under any circumstance put weight back on because that will steepen that already deep decline of self esteem. I still have like zero percent self esteem...but this cannot change.
So therefore I'm adding more pressure onto myself. Too nervous to bring this up in a conversation face to face as I feel they will judge how I look and how I am perhaps even more than they already are, and so its just like a dark cloud I'm carrying about with me.
I just need someone to understand. To be on a similar level. I don't want to stand out even more than I already do 😔

Former Member

@Millicento_ Hello love,

I'm really sorry that you're feeling like this. I hear you and I understand what you're going through, I used to feel the exact same way as you are now. I am actually just writing a blog post about this pressure to be aware of your intake of food and it's effect on your weight. I want you to know that food is energy not the enemy. Eat what makes you happy, and try not to be too hard on yourself during this time. It's okay to eat more at Christmas and New Year. Your weight doesn't determine your worth, you are worthy purely because you exist and you are who you are. I know this time of year is hard because of the immense amount of pressure from adverts and celebrities honing in on our imperfections or encouraging diets etc. I just want you to know that taking care of your health is a marathon, not a sprint. It's a lifelong habit. I would suggest not to weigh yourself because what's on the scales will fluctuate dramatically throughout the day and are not at all an accurate representation of your weight. Just do what you can when you can, and try not to put too much pressure on yourself to get it done.

You could maybe create a workout plan, where it's in a non-pressure way. You could even just go for a walk each day if this is something that you're able to do, I understand this can be difficult. If you start off small and with few days, you can gradually build back up to a routine that works best for you. Remember your workouts are meant to work around you and your schedule, even a short walk each day will do wonders for you and your mental health. I know it's such a difficult time of year, so please be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can within your circumstances and that's all that matters.

Sending you love and strength

Former Member

@Brookee - Thank you. It's definitely a challenge right now for sure. I don't tend to weigh myself religiously. Going for a walk is a huge challenge in itself as I'm agrophrobic and just about able to walk round to the corner shop is as far as I'm fumbling with. I completely agree and understand the whole thing around tv adverts for sure. Just seeing people out running can make me feel so self conscious 😔
Thank you for even reading all my rambling...glad someone out there notices me💚

Former Member

@Millicento_ I understand completely, January is such a pressurising month, but you've done incredibly well getting through all the things that've happened these last two years, which is an achievement in itself. I think that's a really good thing though, scales are completely unreliable, and fluctuate so dramatically from one hour to the next, so It's really great that you don't rely on that. I understand about being agoraphobic, I am too, so I understand the struggle with leaving the house. I've found downloading Pokemon Go has been a big help in getting me out of the house, but I understand this can be very challenging. I wonder if maybe walking around your house a few times every so often, may be beneficial for you? I do want to just say how incredible it is that you attempt to leave, even thinking about it is an achievement in itself honestly.

It can be so easy to compare ourselves to others, but we're all on our own journey, and it can be hard to focus on our achievements when our brains are wired into our negativity bias, so I just wanted to say how proud of you I am, and thank you for reaching out to us! I completely understand, but there are so many other options available to us. Are there any exercises in particular that you really enjoy doing?. We're always always here for you, so please don't hesitate to reach out when you need it! You're very important and so is your mental health

Former Member

@Brookee I do yoga and occasionally some basic skipping in the garden for about half an hour. Usually yoga right now as it's cold out there 🥶 I wish I could feel that achievement though 🙄 So many thank you's for you guys 💜

Former Member

@Millicento_ Yoga's a really good choice, a lot calmer and chilled out, do you do YouTube tutorial ones? That's really impressive doing skipping! I really struggle with that so that's incredible! I know, it's really difficult to appreciate how far you've come when your brains fighting with you, but I will continue to believe in you, and be proud of you and everything you achieve, until you can too You really are doing incredible, you're doing the best you can within the circumstances you're in and that's all anyone can ask of you, and I'm really proud of all that you've done.

Joe

@Millicento_ Thank you for being open about this. Of course someone noticed, there's always someone on this community to notice you and have a chat. Sounds like you have putting lots of pressure on yourself so we arew happy to listen.

I don't know if you have seen but the info section on The Mix's site has articles that might interest you https://www.themix.org.uk/your-body.

@Brookee Thank you for sharing your own experince as well, sounds like a interesting blog your writing.

Keep us updated on how things are going.

Stellaluna

Hi @Millicento_ . If you feel like going for a walk is too much, then it could be an idea to do something that takes your mind off thinking about your weight like watching a movie, reading a book or doing art. Remember it is not unusual for young people to struggle with their body image so there is no shame in speaking to someone about your struggles. Some days will be easier than others. Please be kind to yourself and try not to compare yourself to the highly-edited bodies you see on social media or TV.
Keep going. You are doing great!

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Millicento_

I just want to say hi! I recognised your post too.

As everyone else has already said, please only do as much or as little exercise as you want to for your health.

No routine is ridiculous. Hey, I like routine too! But probably because I also have ASD.

Just make sure it is a routine that makes you happy, that you enjoy and that is achievable for you