Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Struggling with a breakup

Past UserPast User Recovering🥀LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
edited December 2021 in Sex & Relationships
The user and all related content has been deleted.
Post edited by Past User on

Comments

  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,153 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Zay

    I am sorry to hear you are experiencing a tough time with your breakup. It can be difficult when you both need and want different things.

    It sounds like you both have things you need to work through. However, this may not be the time to work through things together within a relationship.

    You could work through things together as friends or separately with other family, friends, and support services.

    I hear that you aren't sure what to do because different people are telling you different things. I would say this is the time that you need to work things out for yourself.

    You are not alone but people need to walk beside you rather than make decisions for you.

    Your decisions need to be made by you so that you do what's right for you :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Options
    FreddieFreddie Deactivated Posts: 2 Newbie
    edited December 2021
    Hi @Zay,

    You have done a brave thing by reaching out to us it sounds like you are going through a tough time. I don't have any personal experience that feels useful to share, but hopefully some other folks can chime in with theirs.

    I want to echo what @Laura_tigger82 has said about reaching out to family, friends and support services, it's important to continue to talk through the emotions you're experiencing if you find that helpful.

    You mentioned the idea of 'cutting him off', it sounds like you have positive feelings for him as a person and your separation has been civil but if you need space for the time being then you should allow your needs to be met.

    Breakups can be hard but it can be made easier by having the right people around you to help you through this time, who is the first person you would go to for comfort when stuff isn't going quite as planned?

    Keep us updated on how everything is going, as I said it is important that you keep talking through your feelings.
  • Options
    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    Hey @Zay

    This seems like a really upsetting time for you, so I just wanted to thank you for being so open and honest with us. I think this just proves that this wasn't your fault in anyway, and he just clearly wasn't sure what he wanted at this time. Of course, your feelings are valid, and any feelings or emotions that come from this situation will always be valid. It seems very conflicting for you, which is completely understandable, and I just want you to know that we're here for you, and you're not alone in these feelings. Sometimes the best things we can do for our mental health is to sit with these feelings, time really is a healer, and he might have done the right thing for both of you, it's just going to be overshadowed with grief at the moment. If these feelings do become too much and overwhelm you, please do reach out to us, or you can always contact SHOUT 85258 or the Samaritans 116123.

    I think this time of grief can be really hard, and even harder if you're in consistent contact with him. I think you should do whatever is best for you and your mental health at this time, if you need some space to grieve the situation and cope with these changes that is perfectly fine, however, if you feel it's easier to stay in contact, with him, that's fine too. Do whatever will help you process this situation easiest, and be more beneficial to you and your mental health. I think some friends can be very overprotective which can have it's positives but also it's drawbacks, I think she's just trying to protect you, however, you know him best, and you're the only one who knows what's best for you, so do what's best for you, even if it's against your friend's opinions, your decisions and feelings are more important.

    Time really is a healer, and if you don't feel able to make a concrete decision right now about what's best for you, it's perfectly okay to have more time to process all of this and come to your own decision in time. Remember your pace is the perfect pace. Do what's best for you always, because you're important <3
  • Options
    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    edited December 2021
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Options
    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Options
    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,153 Part of The Furniture
    Make sure you are prioritising your health and happiness @Zay :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Options
    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Zay Even though he might've made the right decision, it's still okay to feel whatever you're feeling, it's a difficult time, so take as much time as you need to heal from this <3. I understand completely, being in a relationship with someone and having a consistent routine of seeing them just for it suddenly to be stopped can be very difficult to cope with. You're doing the best you can, and I'm really proud of you! Do whatever is best for you to get through this time. I understand completely, and I hear you. I think once you've both processed what's happened, and are both ready, you being friends could be really positive, just make sure you're ready and take it at your own pace, because that's all that matters. Take care of yourself, and just know you're doing incredible within a difficult time!
  • Options
    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,153 Part of The Furniture
    How are you feeling today @Zay? :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Options
    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,153 Part of The Furniture
    I am really proud of you @Zay :3

    Keep working on yourself and doing things that make you feel better!

    It is okay to still think of him. He was/is a big part of you and completely natural you will still think of him.

    You may never stop thinking of him but your thoughts will become easier to deal with and you may start to reflect more on the positive memories :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Options
    awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Hi @Zay

    Good on you for reaching out I'm proud of you ❤️ also I've been going through a similar situation in my life so I know the pain so if you ever want to talk send me a message I'm here for you!
  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,153 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @awesomeminecraft6789

    Thanks for continuing to be supportive within our community. All of your efforts have been acknowledged and they are appreciated. I am really sorry to hear you have been going through a similar situation. Please know that we are always here for you too if you ever want to talk to us about anything :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Options
    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    edited January 2022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Post edited by Past User on
Sign In or Register to comment.