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I am so drained and in pain

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
edited December 2021 in Health & Wellbeing
I am in severe physical pain. Plus my mental health hasn't been okay. I feel so drowsy right now. I hate myself for not doing any work and having to rest. If I continue on being like this, I will never get my work done.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
Post edited by Kate_20 on

Comments

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    I would say perhaps scrub it with anti-stain before putting it in the wash with an anti-stain!

    I hope this helps :3
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    Hey @Kate_20

    It's perfectly okay to rest, in fact it's encouraged! Resting is often very beneficial for our mental and physical health, and prevents burn out, so please try to be kind to yourself as much as you can, you're doing more than enough. Is there any possibility you can have an extension on your work, and let your course leader, or mental health team at University know you're struggling with burn out right now, and they may be able to help you get the extension you need, to ensure you can get your work done, without putting excess pressure and stress on yourself :)
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Brookee Thanks. No, I wouldn't imagine asking for more. They are very strict with extensions. If you are not nearly losing your life or if you are, they are very reluctant to give extensions. My friend who was pregnant and threw up blood told me that my uni did nothing for her and she had to repeat a year.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Kate_20 I'm so sorry that they're so incredibly strict with the extensions they give out! That seems really unfair and discriminatory! That's really quite disturbing how little they care about helping students! Do you happen to have a course well-being officer or something like that, that you can discuss this with?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
    Hi @Kate_20, I'm so sorry to hear you are experiencing this. I was in the same situation a couple of months ago.

    Had a deadline to submit an assignment in October and as the Tutor had extended it for everyone, we travelled abroad for a trip planned early this year, thinking I would have enough time to catch up. Upon our return, while working on the assignment, my 2 year old son started coughing at the nursery so we were asked to take him home until it goes away, just to make sure it's not Covid related, and I found myself struggling to juggle work and childcare at the same time.

    As the deadline was already extended for everyone, I was convinced they would not want to hear about any excuses and planned to work on it every night, leaving me with only a few hours of sleep which would affect my ability to work and care for my son, and have a toll on my mental health.

    After considering all my options, I decided to contact my tutor and explain my situation. I also noted that because of my limited time to work on it, it wouldn't be the best it can be. After reviewing my case, my Tutor decided to give me a 10 day extension. After my submission, I got a call from him saying he was very glad to grant me the extension as it got me 96%.

    I'd say, talk to them and explain your situation. Nothing will change if they say no, but it will have a huge impact if they listen and decide an extension benefits everyone. If I didn't ask, I might have done it on time but there's no way I could have gotten that grade, and it def would have affected both my physical and mental health.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Brookee @pep We tried everything and talked to as many people in the uni as we can but it is hopeless. Sometimes I am wondering if I am really unwell or I just don't want responsibilities in my life so I become unwell? Maybe I just suddenly hate studying? Maybe I am just lack the intelligence to study or take care of myself? I'm still not sure because I don't have any reasons to be like this. Or if everyone is suffering to the same extent but I am the only one who cannot tolerate it? Maybe I am scared of going into the workplace and make a fool of myself so I am unwell?
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

    Apart from what the wonderful @Brookee and @pep have already said, I would add two things.

    The first is that in COVID-19 times, the eligibility for extensions has been widened. In some universities, you don't need to explain your situation or provide evidence to have a 7-day extension.

    This brings me to my second point which is that every university has different rules around extensions. In fact, sometimes different departments also have different rules.

    Make sure you read around the eligibility for extensions and in your university and department in 2021-2022!

    Your personal tutor can also support you with and so can the disability/pastoral team if you feel more comfortable talking to them :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 19 Settling in
    Hi @Kate_20

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling right now, seems like a really tough moment in life. It's great that you've taken the big step of reaching out here for support, that's so important. We all care about you!

    It sounds like you're struggling to identify the cause of your pain/struggles. Health and mental health are very intertwined, often impacting each other and, in doing so, perpetually making each other worse. Have you considered any inward looking techniques to help find the route of your pains such as meditation and or therapy? How would you feel about speaking to a GP?

    Importantly, make sure to take care of yourself. Self care is so so so important and can have a huge impact on everything else in your life. You are worthy and you deserve respect and love (from yourself as well). I'm sure you don't lack the intelligence like you suggest - it's difficult, but finding self-respect and self-appreciation is a must for caring for yourself and moving forward. :)

    We all face struggles differently, there's no right or wrong way to face them. Keep us updated, we're all here for you! <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    Hey @Kate_20

    I believe you, I don't think you're making up your illnesses at all, that sounds like you're struggling with imposter syndrome at the moment, which if anything, just shows that you couldn't possibly be making it up. I also think anyone who goes to University is incredible because it's very difficult, with a lot of responsibilities and deadlines, so please don't think you're not intelligent enough, you're doing really well

    We all deal with things differently, but it doesn't mean your way of dealing with it is wrong, we're all unique, and it's okay to struggle with things others don't, it doesn't make you any less worthy of opportunities or love and support! I wonder if you've been able to speak to your doctor? maybe they can write a letter to your university to state that you're struggling and would like an extension on your assignment?

    Please be kind and gentle with yourself, I know it can be hard when your brain is only showing it's negativity bias, but you're really doing the best you can within your circumstances and that is more than enough <3
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