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Been a while
Former Member
Keep being you<3Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
Hey guys so it's been a while since I was on here I think and I'm back again also I missed you all
Well a few things have happened I turned 18 early December then not long ago it was Christmas and I hope you all had a great day I did my best present was my PC from my neighbor his a family friend and water Bluetooth speakers from my uncle so that was really nice.
So about my birthday sadly I didn't get to have an 18th birthday party even tho my mom promised me for ages so I just went to my grandads instead I don't even feel like 18 because I feel like I'm still being created like a child which annoys me.
For example I asked my mom if I can open my own bank she said I do have one already but that is a kids one it's called gohenrry and she controls it.
I know I'm not very good with money but at least let me open my own.
She also won't let me have my own ID
I don't really go out and about much because she doesn't drop me off places so really I'm stuck in the house,
I've also messed my sleeping up I fall asleep at 5am and wake up at 4pm :[ and my health anxiety keeps on coming back which sucks.
Well a few things have happened I turned 18 early December then not long ago it was Christmas and I hope you all had a great day I did my best present was my PC from my neighbor his a family friend and water Bluetooth speakers from my uncle so that was really nice.
So about my birthday sadly I didn't get to have an 18th birthday party even tho my mom promised me for ages so I just went to my grandads instead I don't even feel like 18 because I feel like I'm still being created like a child which annoys me.
For example I asked my mom if I can open my own bank she said I do have one already but that is a kids one it's called gohenrry and she controls it.
I know I'm not very good with money but at least let me open my own.
She also won't let me have my own ID
I don't really go out and about much because she doesn't drop me off places so really I'm stuck in the house,
I've also messed my sleeping up I fall asleep at 5am and wake up at 4pm :[ and my health anxiety keeps on coming back which sucks.
2
Comments
Welcome back & glad to hear you had a great christmas
Sorry that your birthday did not go the way you wanted it to.
It sounds like your going through a tough time.
I can relate to my parents being abit strict when I was this age too. I think it's because your turning into an adult and it's perhaps a hard transition as a parent to see their child grow up.
Your sleeping pattern sounds alot like mine too
Welcome back to The Mix community! It is great to see you are back with us
Happy belated birthday. How was your birthday?
I am sorry to hear you feel controlled. Like @dante96 said, that is no doubt due to the transition between childhood and adulthood.
However, you can control back if you feel comfortable doing so! For instance, there's nothing stopping you from going to the bank and setting up a bank account now you are 18!
Just make sure you are safe and comfortable doing so beforehand. You could also give this time if your family just need time to process it as this may mean they are more supportive of your decisions
I did enjoy Christmas thank you and I'm really glad to hear you also enjoyed Christmas!
Do you want to talk about your sleep pattern and your health anxiety?
I am sorry to hear you are experiencing a tough time with both of these.
With your sleep pattern, could you try going to sleep an hour earlier each night until you reset your sleep routine to the hours you would prefer to sleep?
It's so wonderful to see you back again! I'm pleased to hear you got some lovely presents for Christmas! Did you have a good time?
I know your birthday caused you a lot of distress, and I'm really sorry that you didn't get the party that you were promised. That's very unfair, how was seeing your grandad?
Have you managed to have that appointment with your counsellor or doctor with your mum, and did it help at all? Is there anyway that you can sit down with your mum and express to her your boundaries around wanting your ID and your own bank account considering you're no longer an adult, your boundaries are always important, and should always be respected.
I wonder if you've accessed The Mix's counselling services? They may be able to give you some short-term support during this time, and maybe signpost you to really helpful services that can help you with your current circumstances, because it feels very suffocating for you.
In terms of your sleeping pattern, it may be helpful to try and go to sleep half an hour earlier each night and wake up half an hour earlier in the day time until your routine goes back to how you'd want it, that's what I do when my mental health skews my sleeping pattern
Sending you lots of love, and thank you for opening up and being honest with us
Also yes sleeping is a real pain now.
Hey @Laura_tigger82 thankyou for the birthday wish :] it was ok really just went to sixth form then after I went to my grandads house and my uncle came to my grandads too and then that was about it really. Yeah I could set it up myself really but like my mom doesn't let me go out on my own so it's kind of hard for me. I'm glad you enjoyed your day
@Brookee Hey I'm going to answer the questions that hasn't already been said in the other comments
I have tried the counselling before but I kept missing the sessions :[
It's ok you all are like one big family to me now like I've maybe said before<3
@AislingDM Thankyou for your reply
Thanks for your response. It helps to gain more understanding about your situation.
I have a couple of further questions for you if you feel comfortable with answering them. Please don't feel like you have to answer them, especially if you don't feel comfortable answering them.
The questions are: (1) What would happen if you were to go out by yourself? (2) How would your mum react if you went out by yourself?
I just want to make sure we are supporting you the best we can as that's what you deserve!
I'm so sorry she's being so overprotective that it's damaging your quality of life. I wonder if you've retried contacting your doctor and letting them know that CAMHS is making you feel a bit deflated and dismissed, and they may be able to refer you to some other important services within your area? I know it's annoying to have to go backwards and forwards, I had to do the same to access services that helped me, because they often have a route of referral that they have to go down first, which is obviously why they referred you to CAMHS first.
I'm so sorry about the counselling service thing. Hopefully your doctor can shed more light on other services available to you.
Sending you so much love
@Brookee Hi
Thanks for providing me with some more information to understand your situation clearer.
It sounds like your situation is frustrating for you because you want and need to go out but your mum is worried about you.
Have you tried reassuring your mum that you are aware of her concerns but know how to deal with them to be safe? Or could you with a friend for example?
I say keep giving services a try! There are many different approaches they could try. It is often when we feel like giving up that we need to hold on the most because that's where hope is.
Though, you are an adult so you are in control of whether or not you access services.
What do you think would help you? Have you tried family therapy/mediation for example?
I am so incredibly sorry that these services have made you feel so distressed and dismissed, that shouldn't be the case at all. I know it can feel very dismissive and deflating when you keep trying to get some support and you feel like you're just being bounced around the system, because this is what happened to me too. When you say that none of the services worked for you, do you mean counselling and those sorts of therapy?