It's been so hard at home

Kate_20

My parents are complaining about how lazy I am and how out of shape I look. They told me that I have to take care of myself otherwise nobody would love me. They told me that they feel anxious about my future because I've not done my uni work as soon as possible. They are comparing me to people of my age who can hold down a job. They told me that I have to think positively and not appear like I am lacking energy. They told me that they cannot understand why I see no point in eating. They also do not believe in my diagnosis, thinking that it was a mistake made by medical professionals. They don't know how hard it is for me to stay alive.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Kate_20

I am really sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you at home with your parents

Have you tried talking to them and providing your perspective?

Those things aren't true and I am hoping they have said those mean words in frustration

I am sure they care about you and want you to be okay.

Is there anything we can do to make things easier for you and to support you?

Sending you big virtual hugs. We are here for you, care about you, and are listening to you

Kate_20

@Laura_tigger82 Thanks you for your kind words. I've been trying to talk to them and showing them my perspective but they don't seems to accept it. I hope these things aren't true but I somehow feel like if they say it for too many times it might be true? I don't know how things can get easier. Maybe my death can solve all my problems and theirs?

Former Member

Hey @Kate_20 I am so sorry to read that your home life is causing you a lot of pain and upset, this seems really distressing for you. I know you're struggling quite a bit recently so I just want to reach out and let you know you're not alone, we're always here for you. I wonder if there's anyway you can have a chat with your parents and let them know how badly you're struggling right now, and that these comments are not helping your situation? I understand this isn't always possible because some families are difficult to talk to, so please only do this if you think this would benefit you and not cause you any further distress.

I'm so sorry that they're making comments that are adding to your mental health struggles. I just want to reiterate that it's okay that you're taking longer than others your age to get where you want, we're all so unique and individual, and comments like this do not help at all. We're all on our own journey and you have the rest of your life to have a job. You and your mental health are more important than any job out there. I wonder if you've spoken to your doctor or have you been able to refer yourself to a counsellor or some other professional that can provide you extra support during this time?

I just wanted to add that you're doing really well considering what you're going through, you're a very strong individual. I know that can be hard to see when your brain is telling you nothing but negative things, but honestly, you getting through each day is a massive achievement. Please know we're always here for you, and I'm sending you so much love

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Kate_20

No need to thank me for being kind! Just what people should do

I am really sorry to hear you feel they don't accept their perspective. That sounds really difficult. Is there a way you could talk to someone who you do feel is accepting and caring? or could you write about how you feel?

There are people, like us, who do care about you and think you are wonderful. Please know that mean words say more about them than you. Their words certainly do not define you.

Please also know that we are here, the same as Samaritans, Papyrus, and Childline are too. We are all just a message or call away! I have put their contact details below.

Keep fighting forwards

Samaritans (24/7):

Call 116 123
Email jo@samaritans.org

Papyrus (2pm - midnight):

Call 0800 068 41 41
Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

Childline:

Call 0800 1111
Talk to them online (https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/contacting-childline/#:~:text=Call us on 0800 1111.,and mobiles in the UK.)

Former Member

Hey @Kate_20, 

Thanks so much for sharing some of your story with us. I can imagine that all must feel really hard, to have so much focus on comparisons between you and other people. It also sounds like there is a lot of focus on what you “should” be doing rather than focusing on what you are already doing.

It can be really challenging when we don’t feel understood by loved ones, especially when some of that is misunderstanding/ disagreeing with a diagnosis we may have that can help to explain the things we might struggle with or our behaviour. It sounds like they’re concerned for you, but not always good at expressing that in ways that don’t feel negative– is that fair to say?

so I just wanted to take a moment to celebrate all the things you are doing - your at university! how's that going? I can also hear, how much effort your putting into staying alive at the moment. Sometimes that can be a really hard thing for others to see, but I wanted you to know we can see it

When we’re feeling low it can be hard to see all of the support that’s available out there for us in the moments we’re struggling, so just wanted to share some info you can turn to if you need: 

 * If you need urgent help or have any concerns for your health or safety, the quickest way to get help is to call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.  *Crisis Messenger - Our crisis messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258. * Papyrus  - If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact HOPELINEUK for confidential support and practical advice. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 or text them on 07786209697. * Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123. 

If you feel comfortable, feel free to share a bit more with us! Take care Kate