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Focusing too much on a mental health professional

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I know that I've been doing it all wrong. I just cannot pluck up the courage to tell the mental health professional who worked with me that I am focusing too much on him. I would imagine him to be one of my friends because I am so lonely. I would also look up on social media about him and copy some simple things I think he and his family were doing (cannot do complicated things they have done when lacking energy otherwise would do more of that). That made me feel safe. I know it is kind of creepy and I know he does not live the life I imagined he was living. It was all in my head. I did not disturb anyone's life online or offline but I feel like a bad person for trying to copy someone else's life and failed everyday. The person who offered me so much help when I did not deserve it. How can I break out of this cycle this is unhealthy. I do have my own circle of friends and I feel bad for them as well.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo

Comments

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    Thanks for reaching out to us. I think this can be one of the difficulties that are associated with trusting someone in times of vulnerability.

    Well done for recognising it though. It is important to identify boundaries as well as that you are cared about and supported <3
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • JoeJoe Moderator, Staff Posts: 26 Boards Initiate
    Hello @Kate_20

    Great that you want to talk more about this and thank you for already being so open. Your very welcome into this community and it's a safe place to share and talk with other that are in similar situations. You mentioned you're trying to break out of this cycle, can you tell us what you enjoy in your life? I look forward to you sharing a bit more about you.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Joe I would say I used to enjoy reading but not so much now. It is weird but I found out his family is full of bookworms. I am trying to pick up an old habit of mine as well but through reading the books they are reading as I lost interest in reading. The only motivation for me to read these books is to feel like I am not alone. I only read the book reviews of these books so that it is shorter and manageable for me.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Joe I am also lying to myself that this is good exercise for my brain to read this. I am disgusting for doing this. They would find out one day that I tried to copy what they did. But indeed I just want to be one of them and be courageous enough to do the degree they have done. I am a coward. Now I am just a pathetic liar suppressing my own feelings. But nothing can be reversed now.

    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Laura_tigger82 Thank you for your encouraging words <3
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    I've achieved nothing and I damaged my mental health. I wasted a year suffering. I thought I was pursuing my dream but it is far from that.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Hiya @Kate_20

    I hear you. However, you are not "a coward" nor "a pathetic liar". Instead, you are struggling, kind and honest :3

    No boundaries have been crossed so everything can be reversed. Just keep reaching out for support as you have here. We care about you and want to support you.

    What is your dream? What would you like to be achieving? <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Laura_tigger82 I wanted to become a writer but maybe in afterlife? As I am not talented enough now and have to face the reality.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    Hello @Kate_20 I'm really sorry to read you're going through a difficult time right now! You can definitely always pursue whatever goals you love. It can be difficult to see the positives when we're struggling mentally, so it might be more beneficial to focus on yourself and being kind to yourself right now. This doesn't mean you can't pursue becoming a writer when you're better, but right now, I think focusing on you and your mental health is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You are more than capable of becoming a writer, remember we're all on our own journey's and there's no real time limit for anything in life, so please don't give up hope. <3
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    I think you could certainly start writing! Even if you would rather start by writing for yourself and then start to share with other people as your confidence increases <3

    I believe in you and I know you can achieve anything you want to achieve :)

    I also think writing would be such a positive outlet for you :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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