talk to lecturer? Struggling and not just with course work

Distraction

( This started off as an email to college, I'm struggling with everything in life and my lecturer is really nice but I feel like I've lied to him to much about why I've not been in class and falling behind. I obviously wouldn't send this to him, it turned into a rant but think I need to show it to someone (you guys) and send him something like it, maybe )

Hi

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, I recognise I’m not doing well in college, I wanted to email you after our zoom chat when you helped me, but I don’t know how to talk about this stuff. I find it hard to ask for help and to be honest I don’t know why I seem to fall behind so much, it goes from one week to the next so fast and I can’t keep up, I want to complete this course but I don’t know where the time goes.

It all just fades into one, I know I should be able to stand on my own two feet by now with life in general, I’ve always found concentrating difficult, especially in school. I didn’t really take an interest at all back then, I did well at the start of primary and then life got hard when I moved to England, I didn’t see myself reaching 18… so I didn’t have any goals, I didn’t see the point.

I don’t know what’s the matter with me, I need to switch my brain on, get focused, be in the present and sometimes I can, but I struggle to keep it that way.

It’s too easy to fall back into the pain and not want to work for anything, maybe I'm not trying hard enough but it seems like everyone else can do it no problem, why can't I get my head in the game, I just really can't be bothered, I don't know if i'm just being lazy but I know I don't understand whats going on with me.

I say everything's fine when it's not but I don't know what it is that's wrong

(P.S not going to GP)

I'm so tired of the stress

Ed_

How do you feel after writing, and sharing this @Distraction? It can be a really helpful process to write things out and to actually press send, as it helps clarify what can often be unconscious for example, which bits do you think are really important to share, what is missing, how does it feel to have actually pressed send even if not to the person you want to speak to. All useful things to reflect on when thinking about sending something to your lecturer.

For what it's worth, to me, this doesn't come across as a rant, and gives a really clear idea of how you have been feeling recently, and so I don't see why you would necessarily need to remove anything. I wonder though if it is worth adding in a section on more specific things you want them to help you with? I think they would come up with some ideas themselves, however it may not be quite what you want from them. Sometimes posing a few questions or statements at the end can help focus them on the areas that you want them to, whilst still giving them the bigger picture of your experience. Do you have any thoughts on what the ideal support would look like for you?

As always, we are all here for you, and I am really proud of you for being so open about this all. You deserve support to work through this

Distraction

Hi @Ed_ thank you for your comment, it's helped more then you'll know!

Writing that post made it much easier to get to the point of what I actually wanted to say and I didn't know it would, it feels fab .

Could I ask you how you think this sounds, any better?


Hi,

I need help but I don’t know what with. I’m struggling to stay focused and I’m not where I thought I’d be. It’s frustrating because I should be able to keep up with the work but it’s as if I can’t sit down and put my mind to it.

I struggled like this at school, but it wasn’t important back then, my mother wasn’t a nice person so applying myself wasn’t my main priority, but it is now. I just don’t know how people do it, it goes from one week to the next so fast and I’m even further behind.

Do you have tips on how to do course work please, the card you gave me from the library has helped with other stresses but I’m just not sure on how to manage the workload.

I doge class because I don't want to turn up with nothing, it's a bad habit and I hope sending this email is the start of breaking it, I also have a dyslexic test coming up soon so that might offer some insight.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Distraction

Thanks for finding the courage to reach out. I appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am really glad to hear writing has helped you too!

I think it is a wonderful email. I would be tempted to copy in your SEND and pastoral teams though.

Also, could you perhaps end the email with something like I am looking for support to enable me to keep going and improve my performance and attendance? I just don't know what sorts of supports are available and I am hoping you could please help?

Have you spoken to your SEND department, teacher, or a GP about the difficulties you are experiencing with concentration?

In the meantime, I am wondering if you write yourself lists and use an app like focus keeper? Focus keeper works based on the Pomodoro technique. The Pomodoro technique allows us to identify one task we want to work on, work on it for a short amount of time and then take a short break. Timetables can also be useful!

In terms of applying this to a coursework context, could you break down your coursework into separate sections? In an essay, this might look something like:

- Find research
- Dividing the number of readings you have by the number of days you have remaining to read
- Writing up X words each day
- Proofreading and editing
- Checking over references (if you have to do references!)
- Submitting

With each of these, you can then know what to focus on each day and you can set yourself the alarms I have mentioned on the focus keeper app (or many other Pomodoro apps).

If you struggle with managing time due to competing deadlines, I would recommend this in addition to working back from your last deadline to ensure you have enough time allocated to each deadline.

We might not experience the exact same difficulties but I struggle with some of the same things due to my executive functioning difficulties as a result of living with autism. I am here for you

Best of luck with your dyslexia test! How are you currently feeling about your dyslexia test?

I hope this helps but if you need anything to be clarified or if there is something you would like me to go into more depth about, please feel free to say!

Distraction

Hi @Laura_tigger82

Thats some fab advice, I didn't even think about tying it up at the end, makes it sound much better!

This is some really helpful information, I'll try it all, can't thank you enough for taking the time to write all this out.

I was feeling ok about it but needed to reschedule sadly because I had to collect a laptop on loan from the college.

Thanks for being there and same goes for you, if u need anything, I'll try my best to help

Laura_tigger82

Hey @Distraction

Thank you for your really kind response No need to thank me at all though.

I'm just really glad to hear that I was able to support you

Hopefully, you don't need to wait much longer until your dyslexia test!

Please feel free to let us know how you get on