Dating help!

Former Member

So I've been dating this guy and we've had 2 dates. The 2nd date was last night and we had had a few drinks and arranged the 3rd date for tomorrow.

I'm now thinking have we arranged it for too soon? I've heard of love bombing and I'm scared he may think that I'm doing that and to rushing the relationship as I was the one who suggested to meet tomorrow as they are busy at the end of the week. But really I just enjoyed spending time with him and he did agree to it. Is it too soon?

How soon is too soon for another date? Also when does the 'first kiss' and things happen? I've never been in a relationship before so I don't really know what to do or what speed to do things at?

Is it worth sending him a message asking if he is still up for meeting tomorrow and if he says yes should I send a follow up saying something like I'm still up for meeting just wanted to check it wasn't too soon for you after the second date. I wouldn't want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Former Member

Hi @scottyjones98 sounds like it is going really well with this guy, good to hear!

I don’t think it’s too soon for a third date if you are both keen to see each other and have agreed. You can definitely send him a message asking whether he still wants to meet (to double check), but I don’t think you necessarily need to send a follow up if he says yes. Because you will have your answer 😊

I think the speed of the relationship / dates / kisses etc really does depend on how keen you both are and how you are feeling with each of these stages. For me, I don’t think there are rules on this, you should follow your intuition and only do what you and he feel comfortable with 💜 sorry that’s not a definite answer but hope it helps nonetheless!

Former Member

@scottyjones98 Hello!

I'm so pleased that the dates are going well for you! As Lucy has said, I don't think it's too soon, particularly if they've agreed to it. I know it can be hard when your brain is overactive but I also think the fact you're aware of love bombing and are actively trying to avoid doing that, says that you're not doing it

In terms of first kisses, I think it's more based on how you're feeling in the moment, so unfortunately it's not something that's easy to give you an answer. This seems like such an exciting time for you, and I'm so happy for you!!

If you feel like it'd ease your nerves a little, I would suggest just double checking he's still up for it tomorrow, and if he says 'yes' you're golden!

Good luck and I hope the next date goes wonderful!

AislingDM

Totally agree with what both have said, I do hope the date went okay, as it sounds like you really deserved some time to relax and enjoy his company without worrying that you were 'overdoing it' or going to 'scare him away'. I totally agree that each relationship has its own timeline, like think of some of your friendships, some will have taken years to forge a sense of trust and vulnerability, whereas others are as quick as lightning. It sounds like you're doing the right thing to me